It is true that I have a lot to explain to you
So I shall start from the beginning
When I met you I knew we had something
The greed within was too much to keep in
So I told you
But now I wish I could take it all back
I never meant to hurt you
But all I did was hurt you
After I told you I felt better
I didn't have to hold the fire in anymore
And then I had a taste and it was amazing
There are no words to describe what I felt that first time
Much like all addictions I needed more
That's were it all went wrong
I couldn't not talk to you or see you
I became completely obsessed with you and the thought of us
I left my comfort and security and home for you
And I don't mean home as in a place to stay
I left the place I loved for you
I left her for you
I still can't believe I ever put her through that
As soon as I left I thought I had made the right choice
But I kept seeing how in pain she was and it hurt me
Its a whole different kind of pain you feel with your partner
Their pain becomes yours, and yours becomes theres
So intertwined you can't tell who's feeling what
That's when I knew
I never meant to cause such a mess
I'm not that girl
And I cant be that girl for you
"I have infinite tenderness for you"
But I don't think that I can see you for a while
That scares me sometimes though
What if one day I wake up and I don't remember you?
What if it happens to you?
But then this could just be a dream
I won't pretend like I know all the answers
All I wanted you to know was that This meant something to me
You meant something to me
"Im sorry it had to end like this"

I know more today than I did yesterday
Tomorrow and next week I'll be wiser
But today
Right now
Im an idiot for believing you
I let you in
I let you get settled in me
And then you left
I want it back
I want every last memory back
Every late night text
Every secret and promise
All of it
You were never mine to keep
I saw that before you did
But I stayed because I had a part of you
I just want it all back
Im such an idiot

Well I finally did it
I made a choice
And I think its right
Im sorry that I ever met you
Not because of emotions
But because of you
I wish I could have spared you
I wish I could take all of pain away
I wish I wish
But that doesn't change anything
I thought we were friends
Maybe even best friends
But I guess they were right
And now it's finally time
No longer stuck between hello and goodbye
This is it
There is nothing left for me to say
Except everything

Do you remember when we snuck out?
I guess it was only me sneaking
But I did for you
We sat by the water
And bathed in the sun
The smell of grass and autumn filled my nose
And thoughts of you filled my heart
I looked at you and you smiled
That is what happiness looks like you later said
I was so content that day
Blissful even
Everything was in place
How did we get so far from that day
Do you even remember that?

There's a tight rope laid in front of me
I've been balancing for some time
Never moving just waiting
But I can wait no more
And neither can you
To fall or to walk
The decision is mine
I've been waiting for so long
For a gust of wind to *******
To decide for me
But this is my life
And faith is for the weak

Every word that I've said to you has been analyzed
By you
By her
By everyone
I speak in rhymes and riddles to confuse
But you understand
Not always at first but you do
So I hope you understand me
Now more than ever

Its been a couple of days now
And I don't know how I feel
I miss you
You became my whole world in a matter of months
And now you've been ripped from my soul
We seem to be stuck in a different universe
Stuck between two worlds
Between hello and goodbye
But it's better this way
I swear to you it is
But I still miss you

Somedays I can go hours without thinking about you
And other days I am drowning in you
Today the sky reminds me of you
How blue
I never understood how your eyes could hypnotize me
But tonight I hate you
Why did you make me fall for you
I had everything
Yet all I wanted was a taste
I gave up everything for just a taste
Do you even know what that means
That I ******* loved you
And I still do and I cant let go
So tonight the waves are a hurricane

I saw your chapstick in the store the other day
I stood there just staring at it
Do I even need chapstick?
No.
But it has the taste of you
And god I miss that
Now my lips feel permanently stained with you
You linger on every word uttered from my mouth
I can't stop licking my lips
Ive never even had a real grapefruit

I dont know what to say anymore.
I miss you.
Know that.
Simply that I miss you.

And there you are
I'm sitting next to you
And I can feel you everywhere
I wonder what you smell like
Is that weird
I shouldn't be so nervous
And there you are
Your lips are on mine and I feel infinite
Its as though I can feel for the first time
How did I breathe without you
I can't stop this
Or my feelings for you
How did this happen
God if only I could breath you in
And keep you with me forever
It was only suppose to be a kiss

You know that feeling when your jumping?
Your feet leave the ground
And for a second you're flying
Your breathe is quick
And your arms fly out
Searching for something to grab
That's what it's like to love you
That slight fear of landing too hard
Falling and not being able to get back up
But the feeling of being lifted is there
The feeling that you can kiss the sky
I guess that's what I'm trying to say is
I hope you catch me

I want to take you on cute dates
Like in the indie movies
A picnic on the roof of a building
With Christmas lights and mason jars
I'll keep you warm against the night air
And I'll always protect you
The sun will begin to rise
And I won't watch
A sun rise is nothing compared to you
Another day with you is another blessing
I'll never forget that
And I'll never forget to tell you how much I love you
No matter how long we are together
I could make a movie just about your eyes
All we are missing is a flower crown

I look at you and I don't see flaws
I don't see someone who is "sad"
I don't see anything wrong with you
I see you
I mean I honestly see you
The way you laugh nervously when I'm staring at you
Or the way you way your smile catches my breath
Or the way your eyes reflect the most beautiful soul
Can you see that?
Can you see how much you mean to me?

In the dark I can find your lips
I know exactly where you are in space
You're breathing is quickening
And I'm breathing you in
I just need you everywhere
Skin on skin yet not close enough
Can you feel my heart beating for you?
I can't focus on anything except you
The way you keep looking at me
Makes me feel invincible
Can you taste the desire on my lips?
The pain in my heart
Please don't ever stop

Its 3 am and all I can think about is you
I miss you
Not in the sense of missing a body next to another
I miss your soul
I miss your smile and how it lights up my heart
Why can't we be together...
Are you thinking about me
About how we fit perfectly together
I've never been so happy yet so sad
I can still smell you on my lips
You're a rare soul
And I miss you

You said it
I still can't believe you said it
You feel the same way
How did this happen
I feel like soda can being shaken and then thrown
I'm going to explode into the air
You said it
But now what
I can't do anything about it
But I could
And I want to
And that scares me
But you said it
Just one kiss
That's all I need
How bad can one kiss be
There could be nothing between us
But I hope there is
I want to feel your spark
I cant believe you said it

I can never tell if you're joking
Because I'm not
Behind the lols and hahas are true feelings
I'm serious when I say that I want you
I want you to want me
I want you to look at me and see what I see
I would never
But I would
And I wish I could
Just kidding
Don't worry about it
It was never more than a joke to you

I had a dream about you last night
You were so close to me I could almost touch you
My body was calling to you
Begging you to move closer
You would open your mouth to say something at the same time as me
But you would stop and smile to let me go
But I didn't have anything to say
What would I even say to you
You just kept waiting for me to say something
I woke with the smell of you on my breath

I'm going to tell you today
How I feel I mean
Maybe you feel the same
The same way I light up when you smile
Or the way my heart stops when you look at me
I can't tell you
How can I  explain the way I feel when I hear your name?
It's the most beautiful word to ever leave my lips
I can't tell you

I think I'm going crazy
I saw you today and everything was different
I saw a spark on you
Only for a second
But it was there
You looked at me and smiled
I could see the sun in your eyes
**** I'm staring again...
I just want to see that spark again
I wonder what its like to feel your warmth up close

You're everywhere I look
Just walking around in my brain
Stepping on emotions without even seeing it
I should't be thinking about you this much..
Do you think about me?
Why do I even care?
You're with her
And I'm taken
But I do think you're brilliant

I can't stop thinking about you
Your eyes are so blue..
I remember when I first met you
Something sparked in me
I wanted to know everything about you
And then you smiled...
God that smile
I can still feel my heart melting when I think about you
I knew from the beginning
But I didn't
I knew there was something different about you
Something special
I wonder if you feel the same way?
I didn't think so

I'm making this for you
To show you how I feel
I told you last night how I felt
And it felt like a weight was taken off me
Maybe I'm doing this for me
To help me deal with you
Not in a bad way
God you're so perfect
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