I am trapped
In this life
In this world
By these people
By these clothes
Stereotypes place barriers on who i am
Who i can become
I am afraid
I cannot leave
I am Icarus
Fly too close and
. . .
There i go
Falling into the ocean
All of my ideals
Slipping through my fingers
Where can i go
That is unfamiliar
That scares me
That excites me
That angers me
That brings to light any emotion
Because there is nothing in my heart
I am empty
There is nothing there
An anthill teeming with ghosts of what once was
Perhaps what never was
Was I abandoned
By myself
By others
By my heart
Where has it all gone
The desire
My desire
The only lust for life that possesses me
Is wanderlust
The lust for stardust to seep into my skin
To distract me from every original
To take me to a new world
To make me forget
Then remember to forget
Where has my desire gone
The desire to live
To prosper in this life
To be content
Perhaps nowhere
Perhaps it has hidden inside of me
Fearful of coming out
Rearing its ugly head
And marking its territory in this decrepit place
The hole I call my soul
Oh how it devours

my world is bleak
each breath is empty
my limbs are numb

they don't feel your touch
your caress upon my arm
each gentle pat on the hand

life has turned vapid
leached of all usefulness
dead and alone in the corner

my limbs are numb
yet here you are
poking and prodding

for a sliver of hope
that I may feel again
unhindered by life's casual boredom

thanks are many to give
but dry up on my tongue
crack each taste bud

not for pleasure or whimsy
but necessity
for if I were to speak soul truths

the earth would shatter beneath our feet

hark! I am greeted by angels
each with devil horns and
spikes in their backs
blackmailing my feet to lead me
where?
away from from the shining seas
twinkling eyes and fluttered eyelashes
fare thee well in these trying times
they screech at me from
their balconies
all I can do is cry
deep in my hands
cracking my nose with my knuckles

Are black clouds swirling above my head?
Are birds and butterflies?
Can you tell when I'm angry?
Does smoke spew from my ears?
Wouldn't that be easier?
If we were animations
Alive and fictitious
Right there
Before your eyes
I reflate after every defeat
Arrive safe and clean and unbroken
Back in my bed the next morning
Nothing happened
Wouldn't that be easier?

The sun is shining and
moonbeams glisten through the air.
Moon, not sun.
While the sun shone
and incinerated the sloshing intestines of
vengeful beasts;
the gentle and forgiving moon
projected from their eyes and
caught the ****** maw of a starving deer.
Suitcases of leather stacked behind us
filled with spruce, pine, elm, oak, cherry.
Ready for induction t
o our paperless society
which consumes the forests of
Hippolyta and Antiope mercilessly.
Burning every leaf
then forgetting to feel
because nothing mattered.
Everything never mattered.
Facts are lie, opinion is truth.
“No one is nothing”
they shriek to the heavens
striving to be limitless
and scorning morality. Embrace death
and all its glory.
Life, while full of happiness
and gorgeous splendor,
refuses to acknowledge the
magnitude of the word. The thing.
Falling and reading and lines
and circles and explosions
and whimpers and screams. Agony suffered
silently, alone; never understood
because how could it?
What could totally encompass
the raging fire that devours the veins
and burns from the inside out
kept in place by the impenetrable
flesh that glints in the forgiving moonlight.
A hostile exterior that
smiles, waves, laughs on cue to
disguise the raging storm
fighting its way through from inside.
The shell which shrinks from the moonbeam
and into the harsh sunlight
that filters beneath the floating clouds.

Smoke.
Everywhere.
No escape.
Lungs choked by the burning gas floating in the air.
Shrieks of delight in the background
make me wonder what joy there was.
The dead grass crunched under my feet
and engulfed in flame after a tiny, glowing ember
floated from the smoke filled sky and to the ground.
I scream for help
but it is mistaken for joy.
For a smile plastered on an alabaster face and hands
raised to bathe in the shower of sparks
that rain down upon the earth.
Eyes burn with smoke, blurring every image
already distorted by the smog that hangs over the land.
Smiling faces contort to demon
and white winged angels claw from the ground
chanting hymns of forgiveness and eternal life.
But, as if taken by surprise,
the criminal smoke flees the scene of its crime leaving me;
standing there salty rain pouring from
honeysuckle eyes roaming the ankle high grass for signed of life.
Sure enough, carpenter ants skittered under
the pale moonlight rushing back to their mother queen.
Demented angels
melted back into the ground,
not even a mound left from where they clawed through.
Demons smiles reverted to tooth filled grins.
'Kathy,' came a far off voice. 'That was epic!'
Self-made rain stained my cheeks
but no longer poured from my eyes.
Elated strangers whom I felt I knew
overwhelmed my frozen figure, shouting about
my amazing performance I didn't know I'd taken part in.
I muttered under my breath,
'God bless the U.S.A'

this is an endless hellscape
housed by demons mocking my torture
blood rains from my fingertips
clotting in the gaping mouths
of the spectators' bellow
my bones snap and mend at crooked angles
set by my captor
injecting formaldehyde to freeze my body
poisoned by exposure

cigarette smoke clogs her arteries
twelve packs a week
bleeding teeth and nails dawdle in her broken hallucinations
the cloud of harsh chemicals mask the iron in dust
it coats her tongue and hands and feet
the minerals latch onto the crevasses of her flesh
refusing to relinquish their rightful territory
she knows all of this
all it took was ages in a bathtub
overcome with mildew
for their stubborn tendencies to become evident
she's since abandoned attempting to scrub the brine away

I want to write a poem
I want words to flow from my brain
to fill a room
and churn around my ankles
I want to describe the magnificent monstrosity
of the abominable them
I want to write page after page of profound insight
relevant to a day and age contrary to my own
I want to transport lazy streams and terrible winds
to the bedroom of a pensive child
I want to be mistaken for a genius
analysed by college students
and cursed by highschool
I want to be required reading
that 7 secretly love
I want
I want an unattainable future
made possible by something I didn't feel
or see
or be
I want a writing desk used only for flashes of imagination
and sudden inspiration
I want to sing in the mind of another
without having to open my mouth
I want

i take words in my hands
examine their nooks and crannies
lay them on a page
shuffle their assembly
manipulate their meanings to suit my needs
roll them around my head
taste them on my tongue
the bittersweet of a perfect adjective
dancing before a noun
the metallic tang of a callous word
shoved into a sentence against its will
***** of it's innocence
purged of all meaning
lying helpless on structured lines
tramped by uniform TO BEs
i treat every word like a lover
savoring each fleeting minute
i have with such excellence
marvelling at the countless wonders
performed for my amusement
sometimes i'll wake up
and a love i've never known
drifts in the wind forgotten
while i am utterly oblivious to the slaughter of language

Rushing through the throng of people
Hurried down a choked corridor
Flashing lights begging to distract me
Stray my path
The seconds are ticking down
My brain is racing to find the ideal trail
Formulating the glowing lines all pointing to the same location
Heart racing breath
Ragged muscles burning
Every minute disappeared
Milliseconds racing towards zero
The minute to midnight crushes my lungs
Forces the air from my lips
And splits my brain in two
The timer goes off
I’m miles away from my destination
Heart crashes against a brick wall
Breath is cut off
Limbs dismembered
I lay lifeless on the cobblestone
Lights flashing on my face
Mud puddles splashed into my face by the throbbing stream of individuals
Earth coats my tongue
All I taste is copper iron zinc
Dark-cinnamon swirls eclipse my pupils
The flashing lights are gone
12:01 forever burned into my retinas