Playgrounds became lifestyles when I was with her
Outgrown boots shod, dainty feet sat down together
Sat down for a kiss, I didn't think could be sincere,

Because I have problems,
I have woes the epics tell
But she told me different stories, different
Beliefs in me, hopes for my sunlight
Times spent rushing to find a place to smokey intermingle
To gasp each other's air.

I tried to find her as circumstance ripped her away,
But I'm forgetting her as I write this
Unceremoniously awkward, I hate that word, but that was how we left it.
Was it real? Who knows?
My eyes don't like to invent.
When I let the hoods slide over them,
Down, dark, a shelter from the mist
I see a sunny vale again
Where she might be waiting.

Take my passion into consideration,and value
How much love I have for your beauty in grace
How much I love  you point is not to argue
Where ever,whenever I see I see just your face

What I have in your image that is worthwhile
Whatever I carry along that is but world treasure
I carry along from mile to mile beautiful smile
You made my love like a wonderful soothsayer

I see God in you You are my beautiful universe
I like your beautiful style, all graces and all charms
I am no more in me you are wonderfully diverse
Please embrace me my love just come in my arms

Col Muhammad Khalid Khan
Copyright 2016 Golden Glow

That brief interlude between
Sleeping and waking,
I pass through each day like
Some dark undertaking,
Where nothing is real, where
I’ve been to or going,
My mind is disordered,
My heartbeat is slowing.

And even the room that I
Enter is swaying,
My eyes are distended my
Brain is nay-saying,
While legs stagger sideways
And crablike in function
Like some leaden corpse treated
To extreme unction.

The wars were all won, or
Were lost in the sleeping,
While everything worthwhile
Would seem to be weeping,
The slate should be cleared by
Each act of purgation,
But I wake each day to
Some strange dissipation.

I often forget simple
Words in our language,
That drive to distraction
And cause me more anguish,
But calm will return when
The evening is making
That brief interlude between
Sleeping and Waking.

David Lewis Paget

You didn't really leave when you died.

There's still that image of you in the back of my mind when I pass your favourite colour on the street.

There's still that uncomfortable silence after I say 'Hey' and I expect you to turn and ask 'what?' but it doesn't happen.

There's still the silence that creeps up against your parent's skin when they have to tell people they had a child and it takes a while for them to notice the past tense.

There's still an echo of your voice in my head where you you used to laugh about our inside jokes...but now they're just statements to me.

There's still that song you love and it still exists in your collection somewhere piled up in your wardrobe that is slowly fading away.

There's still that lingering memory of you when I pass by the place we met. Sometimes it's deliberate - other times, I pass by and break down in the corners of the street because I wasn't meant to see you there.

There's still that uncomfortable ache in my heart that you ripped out when I saw the yellowing of your papery skin in that decaying hospital bed.

There's still that one person who could've met you but instead will go on a lifetime meeting similar people but not quite the same as your wonderful and beautiful and heart wrenchingly perfect self.

There's still the first text you sent saved on my phone, and the fact that it will exist forever even if just in binary code drives me insane!

There's still the unfamiliar chill in your bedroom when I visit because the medication I've started taking since you left gets me a little more sentimental than normal but your parents still let me in to roam around because...they're just as numb as me.

There's still the family wondering forever if they could of done anything and the weight of their thoughts are heavier than the amount of earth we tilled to bury you.

There's still you in everything I do and I'll never get past it.
But, it's okay...
because soon, one friend, like I, will write a similar poem like this about me as I join you up in Heaven.

There's still the option to live, but I guess it left with you.

In my sadness
I imagine wind brushing against my wings
My body weight shifting to my toes
My arms spread against the horizon
My torso leaning forward
My eyes distant

In my contentedness
My wings fade away
My body weight shifts backwards
My arms loosen
My torso relaxes
My eyes fall back to Earth

In my unease
I imagine a darkness
And in comfort
I see the darkness surrounded by light

I don't trust you with it
I want to rip the infested pieces of you away from it
Scourge you out from every nook and cranny
Rip the oldest remnant of you from the deepest crag in it
And place you in a thick glass jar

I want to observe you from every angle and know you inside out
And only then will I know if I'd prefer to wrap you up
Or tear you down
But whichever I chose I would never, never let you out

I would keep you from it but know you both so well
Not even your mother could boast to know more
I would rend you from each other and stitch you back together
And bind you both to me that way my mind screams at me to do

But

First I must reach out and you must grasp my hand
I would love to hear all about you
If you'd open up and let me see who you are
I will accept every filthy and clean part of you
All I require is your every thought
Every breath
Every heartbeat
I ask so little of you
You ask so much of me

You ask me to be a friend in the sense
That you are not entirely unequivocally mine
I refuse
You ask me to be a confidant as though I am not aware of who needs to hear the words you will say
I refuse
You ask me to believe you because you are honest
As though I don't know who you were and are
I refuse
You ask me to care to listen to hear you and I can do all that and more but you have done nothing for me

Slit your throat for me.
Show me you truly need only me to care
Reach down into your chest and present your heart to me
Open your skull and give me your brain
Prove that you trust me enough to check its every secret
Empty out your arteries for me. Show me you trust I'll put you back together
Give me your organs and know that I'll hold you to life

I will accept then
I will listen then
I will care then
You've no clue the extent to which I love those who give me all of them
I will love until heaven and hell and earth and the universe itself wither away
Eternally
Unwaveringly
If I have all of you
You will have me.