I got over you and then
realized there was no one
to get over to
and allowed you
to reside in the
forgotten corners of my mind;

you're nothing to me, but
you were everything, but
everything became nothing, but
I made that nothing
everything for
fear of being nothing
without you.

I want more than I need and
I feel nothing when I bleed;
finding feelings I buried
six feet deep and I see
the things I neglect to feel
in my sleep

High strung off
loose ends,
constructed of foundation
condemned,
I am the puzzle with no edge pieces,
my crying is tearless;

Is it possible to be terrified and
also fearless?

My body
feels small as I
stare at the the cracks in the
ceiling and
I am so small in my
loneliness,
my body shrinks and my
eyes glaze;
sandpaper tongue
and dry eyes
breathing stale air
and the cycle goes over and over
crumbling and
cracking and
splintering,
stumbling in darkness, my
body numb and also

Aching.

I'd ask where you are but
I don't even
Know who You is and that
is perhaps the most
painful part.
Or maybe it's that I'm so
        alone
in my loneliness(no one quite
seems to recall
t heir I solation)

Trees and grapes
I resolve to not need to
solve it;
I need no u's and
know you's

I
looked on at a
yellow sky,
creamy meringue;
peppered with
feathers and wings,
the lemonade stage
for the black bird dancing.

Crisp November winds and
overheated toes,
I lost my head in the
music on the
dimly lit road.

And still,
in the complete silence,
the universe
whispers your
name
and I
stretch out my fingertips,
searching for
you in the
overwhelming

darkness.

"I'm writing to you from a distance like a pen pal."


My war letters remain unanswered.
Sincerely,

Not yours,
Truly.

It absolutely amazes me,
the dichotomy of how
you can make me feel so special and
unique
and simultaneously
leave me feeling so desperate and
cheap.

You are the best and the worst,
the source of my greatest joy and
deepest sorrow,
and I am sick in my desire to
not feel these extremes;
I am sick in my desire to
not
feel
anything.

It's time
to get off
this ride.

Sometimes I prefer
sleeping to waking,
for in my dreams
our love is
without complication.