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  Jan 2019 Lilywhite
Rowan S
My brain has become
An unavoidable trap
Filled with nostalgia
And nostalgia might as well be a drug, for all its usefulness.
Lilywhite Jan 2019
We use to talk of all the things we loved to do:
holding hands, lying beneath the stars, our conjoining of hearts

I believed I was in love with you and yet,
I remember the day you said goodbye like it were yesterday,
erased me from your life as if everything were nothing;
A swift kick to the curb—
the nerve

I’m glad to know it’s that easy to walk away from me
and that all the things I sacrificed for you
were as meaningful as the dirt on your shoe

Thanks... No, really... thank you

For now I know what not to look for
And that’s all the characteristics in which you possess;

The v i l e,
psychologically projected fear of loneliness
Along with your tendency to hide, lie, and be promiscuous

You and all your disturbances left such a bad taste in my mouth;
so much so, that I refuse to even utter your name aloud

but I will take with me all the lessons I've well earned,
and forgive you for all the disrespect that you so gave me

oh, and yet
be rest assured that you'll see what the **** it is that I'm worth
Now go ahead and ask me if I care what it is you think of me?
yup, uhh nope, not at all
But I do pray that you learn from your past discrepancies..

why you ask...?
well see, no other girl should have to suffer
solely because you can't ******* keep it together

IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT YOU
and not everyone can build themselves back up from the devastating destruction you very well cause

you should know
that every decision creates a tidal wave
that not everyone can escape the repercussions of
January 14, 2013
Lilywhite Jan 2019
They drop like flies I tell ya-
can't contain the pressure,
eruptions fused by anger;
frustration...
but rather than seek an explanation,
the assumptions over take them-
everybody suffers now. . .
what an awkward situation ?

to partake in such petty things . .
is to deny the soul and its awakenings . .
a waste of time and energy I tell ya-
and there's nothing worse
than feelings hurt, ignorance, and
being a ****

so have patience, be kind,
remain strong, and put the past behind,
always move forward, and seek truth
for there are many possibilities within our youth
to learn from, and be living proof
that this too shall pass

There's so much more to life than broken hearts
and senseless strife...
February 11, 2013
Lilywhite Jan 2019
What do I feel, if I even feel at all?
I'm ashamed and quite frankly, I'm confused.

No longer would I want to question
what is already known to be true. . .
yet where is thy confirmation?
'tis an ode past due

there are glimpses
of which I can't quite catch
where I linger
and now find
caught in this beautiful,  
intricately woven web of loneliness—

m̷y̷s̷e̷l̷f̷
May 29, 2012

pacing on the pavement outfront, I conjured this
Lilywhite Jan 2019
irreprehensible state
becomes constrained
and ridden with angst
incomprehensible dealings
with endless halls
and no ceilings
drowned out
by the sound
of silence
I cannot speak
for one must look within
to find their peace
otherwise
faced with fate
brain overload
we detonate-
forever yielding
and there;
never revealing,
it remains
lying in wait
within the maze
to take us back
from whence we came
July 26, 2011

mushroom meddling
Lilywhite Jan 2019
Take the pain away
Wash it from your face
Erase the days of questioning your own self worth

Unbutton your shirt
Lower your skirt
Grace the earth with your body
And bare your soul to the world
Be anything but unforgiving of yourself

You are more than your scars for
They are merely affirmations
Of a path well traveled on
And you wear them well

Don't let anyone tell you different
Just be the difference between then and now

Be unapologetically thankful that you are never alone when you're at home with yourself

Shower yourself with love,
Beyond limit,
Because you deserve it
I wrote this after my ex cheated on me
Lilywhite Jan 2019
Hate.
It grows the stomach weak, it claws at your insides, and poisons the thoughts you think.

Hate.
It blackens one's soul, deteriorates the body, and leaves a lifeless void; a hole. You're susceptible.

Hate.
When you hate, hate becomes you and you, hate.

You become nothing more than a living, breathing, sack of flesh-
completely ridden with ill-vibes and bad intent.

Hate.
You're now a sad, lonely, and self-obsessed incubus.
A bottom feeder who preys on the weak, stealing all that's good among the meek-

Hate.
You're a modern-time frankenstein
minus the remorse.

Hate.
Smiles; they're contagious.

But hate;
hate is much worse,
hate devours all that is beautiful, it damages and distorts what otherwise could be clarity. . .
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