i have no title
because there aren't enough words in the
universe
to describe what I'm feeling.
it's like there's a puzzle-
a very large puzzle
with many pieces.
the pieces are all put together
clicked right into
place but
there are some areas where there's nothing.
just awkward curves and
g a p s.
it's complete but not.
i know the pieces that are missing.
one has a curve like this;
another has a smooth edge over here;
this other one has a stroke of blue on the right corner and some
black near the middle.
i know them like the back of
my hand.
but.
i don't know where they are
anymore.
the puzzle used to be complete
a time long long ago.
it was a pretty picture
bursting with colors galore.
everything was good
everything was all right
until someone came along.
he poked and prodded
at the puzzle.
making the pieces shift to the left and right until it was one ublmjed up mess.
for awhile it sat
simply sat
as a big mess.
as time wore on the pieces were put back together.
it wasn't easy-
not once.
it wasn't fun-
there was so much to risk.
it wasn't quick-
time just dragged on.
yet it was worth it.
but the puzzle still has its missing pieces.
i don't know where they are
but
i know where they could be.
i've tried looking for them and sometimes i feel like i'm so close.
i'm so close that i can touch them
grab them
bring them back.
but the moment my fingers are about to graze them,
my vision blurs
and i can't see.
& i've lost them yet again.

Chocolate chai tea lattes still make me think of you.