May you finally rest with both eyes closed
Your time has come it's true you know
So take your last breath smoke your last smoke
And fall gently into death's darkest cloak

Don't fall for me
Because you will I promise
And when you do you will love it
You will love me because I am everything you need.
But when I run dry
And I'm of limited supply
You'll wish you never met me
Because loving me is the worst, most painful way to die.

When I die I'm going down
Because I spent my whole life doing it
And feeling it

Don't tell me to get in the shower "It'll make you feel better,"
When you are the one who caused the bruises,
the internal ache,
the tears stained on my face,
the nightmares when I close my eyes,
and the PTSD everybody thinks is a lie.

Maybe
if I turn
my back
you can
see
for yourself
the
******
constellations
you drew
with your
knife.

You sit in the back of my throat like last night's supper
I swallowed your lies because you were my lover
Who I did afterwards wasn't right
It was foolish and hurt and is wrong despite
The fact that I did it to save myself
To keep on ease my mental health
When you called me crazy for assuming the truth
No matter how hard you tried it was no use
You haven't changed and it's not my fault
That the girl you lie with now will never know
You don't really love her she's a painkiller
You're not an addict you're only a quitter