I don't know why I'm not ok
I don't know how you can help
I don't want to break up with you
Or leave you on the shelf
I love you still so much it's true
But I can't feel it anymore
Yet I cannot help but lose myself
Every time you close the door
I feel I'm better off alone
(Says the co-dependant one)
You'll be ok I promise you but
It's easier said than done
I don't know how to explain myself
I don't know what to do
I can't help it I'm so ******* sorry
For falling out of love with you

Maybe we can go on together with suspicious minds
But only because feigning trust is considered fine
So we say ok and tell each other to have fun
When we assume the worst and then say none
We boil up and grow apart
With each slightly resentful remark
My period pains make you say
I'm ******* around every other day
You don't talk to me anymore
So I assume your new friend is your *****
We change plans on hanging out together
Instead of rekindling this love we've shared forever
So as much as we think **** is going on behind
I know our accusations aren't necessary
We can't go on with suspicious minds.

Because you fell in love you're telling me to go
For no other reason no no no
You fell in love and now I'm in the wrong
Because I love someone else and not your song
Because you fell in love I lost my best friend
Someone kind and special who I'd fight for til the end
Sure I have someone to go home to and call my own
But because you fell in love, without him, I'm all alone

I see beauty in every step I make,
this world has robbed us of the right,
to see with my own god given gift of sight.
no trust in my reality
only laugh at whats on the computer's screen,
I see beauty in every cobble, in every drunken wobble,
I watch the street lights glow pass through the trees that shelter below
I see the homemade art hanging on your mantle, through the window left ajar so that winters sounds may visit,
and I see the world spinning on its axis, the Pre-printed clouds scrolling past me like a news feed,

green grass and the smell of mud,  the wind disturbs trees that shed leaves as if they where a grand lady, shedding tears to some offensive gesture

the beauty in life is not in screens,
the beauty does not hide behind great outings
the beauty does not rest, it does not settle, it is neither here nor their,

the beauty of life is around us, at every moment,
in every moment.
it just takes time to learn to see

Pretty hair, pretty eyes, pretty face with pretty lies.
No one knows the pain,
They say us as young ones can't experience pain,
But they don't know,
Everyday is a struggle,
Shedding invisible tears,
Well at least those i can't hold back anymore.

It's hard enough already living life without knowing who you are,
But even harder lying to yourself about it.
I swear one day i will cry without stopping,
Or maybe it's too late for that now.

Everyday i come around friends,
Smiling, it's a fixed expression.
I go home and sing the pain away or make a poem,
Without talking about the pain.


                                                         ­                                 Jonesy  ©