No Romance,
just the way
you liked it.

Just the way
You ripped off
Your dress

And left me to
romanticize it
balled up
on my floor

Just the way
you teased and
denied
my poetic soul

You said it
felt so foreign

Like you were
never worthy
of the prose

You left me
Writhing and
Alone
and
I know
you know
You’re not perfect

I just wanted
you to feel
like a goddess
I worshiped
beyond words
even if you didn't
believe in something.

Believe me,
I did my best not to be
bitter

But your cynicism
was never ****

No one cares
What you don't
Like

You would
look into the
Grand Canyon
and just see a void.

Avoiding
the obviously
numinous

Like where
your heart
was

Before it was
split with a river
streaming your
constantly
pessimistic
consciousness.

Maybe I was too sweet
finishing last
like a nice guy
that you just
left salty

To
slide
down
the
throat
of your
thesis statement:

NO ROMANCE

Breathe in and blow everything out of proportion
A manic artist versus the abstract composition

In my head this all looked as perfect as imagination
The challenge was blending the line between fantasy and reality
To get the inner critic to agree
Worlds colliding this one into the next

Dreams manifested to the forefront 
of a visionary gone inside himself

Throwing myself against the walls of my mind 
In an attempt to think outside the box.
Even in our own heads they've got us on lockdown
With the chemical constraints constricting creativity 
These straightjackets of sorts
Straightening out the free-thinkers

A fourth wall broken

Pretentions are high
On the artist's plane
Subjectively selling ourselves out to a shallow medium
The mainstream
The water we should be walking on
We're drown out in.
Drawn into the background of the bigger picture.

Seduced
by the
school
shooter
singing
siren
songs
of
shotgun
blows
to the heart beat 
of the wet American dream.

It's the human interest
horror allegory
The hero doesn't even get
15 minutes

But the shadow has
got a gun fetish
Counting bullets as 
They're counting blessings,
numbered 1-27
3x his pump action 

Light 'em up
***** 'em out 

Some head-sick self-entitled 
monster in a mask
on a mission of mass destruction
Cashed in on their
little tax deductions

The most sacred snuffed out
before the light could become them

It's the darkness that dominates
As the dragon *******
Witch inside
The mind
displacing emotions
away from the art of 
living 
loving 
and losing

You're the submissive
Ascend the divine madness
or find yourself in shackles
in the machinery. 

Humming
hypnotizing
hymns 
of conformity 

Another one's lost his mind
Descended
And the scapegoat 
is mental illness

We all know, 
The media is the medium
is the message
The subliminal secret passage
to the shared skewed subconscious
Planting ideas of bloodshed
Like evidence in the 
Bodies of specific demographics 

Demonize
Pack the prisons

Capitalize
And cut the blood losses

Here we are now
Hopeless
It makes for great entertainment

Je ne sais quoi
Yeah,
she don't got it no more.

They aborted it from her
when they sold her the
the false perfection elixir
that soul'd her out

Hook, line, and sink her
gut her,
fillet her.

Ctrl-alt-del the fetus,
the sacrifice of the inner-child.
Molested into the machinery of Moloch

He butchered
the absolute heart
of the poem of life
out of her body.

She stands naked
goddess-less
kicked into the prison pit
of existence

Now she's like *everybody.
She's nobody.

Girl, you're already
A walking genocide.
Armed with your 
favorite prescription
and all the reasons
why
you wanna escape
the inside

With a bomb strapped
and wire tapped
to your heart beat
to the only constant
of grace
that you stepped out of
in the stutters you gait

Steady your impulses girl
you don't need another slip-up
some emotional trigger

Blowing you 
out of proportion
out of your body 
The one you were 
never comfortable with

From what you saw
should be beauty
the red herring
of reality distortion
the magazines
the billboards
the Goddess abortion

I work for the machine
that bashes bastardized beauty
into the face of the masses

The status quo
of oppressing the Goddess
to some golden ratio
of ***** perfection

"We set the standards, baby"

An arrogance of man,
A battle born in blood
objectifying some sacred symbol,
The cosmic ****
we all crawled out of
as star dust

The holy hole
to heaven on Earth
Gaia taken advantage of
Rejecting the gift of consciousness

We'll de-evolve
like past-life regressions
like we're so self-entitled to 
come back around
Among the cosmos
cradled in the crescent 

Deny yourself the mystique of the feminine
The clashing of the anima and animus
The syzergy of 
the sun 
the moon 
and us
Call on your angels
And submit to the psychosis

My brothers,
These are our 
sisters and mothers
They don't want to castrate
The ******* symbol

Destroy the alpha male
And the omega oppression
The beginning and the end of
**** shaming 

I worked for the 
misogyny machinery of Moloch
My heart no longer beats here
It just bleeds for *her.

We've got a red white and blue bloodlust
For the drips
from the slits
in the wrist
Of Ms. Statue of Liberty

Miss America
Covered in capitalist pigs blood
camouflaged as corn syrup
whispering bitter somethings
to the diabetic nation
that broke her sweet-heart

They'll give her something
to fill her wounds
And add insult to
Self-inflicted injuries

in flashes of light
our arrogance
under-shadows
our destiny

She’ll overcome us
in her apotheosis  

She’ll come
back around harder
next time

When she finally comes for us

She danced
a symbolic grace
with a look of malice
written on her face

She cast a
lunatic eclipse
of my erratic soul

The Maiden
The Mother
The Crone

It was more than a phase

Just a glimpse into our story-lines
She was the moon
I was the son

The anima
The animus
star-crossed
in our own paths
in our own way

I crowned her in stars,
she shed the scales
from her eyes
and we met
in a fiery embrace

Heaven on Earth
aligned like syzygy,
but only for a moment
We destroyed each other,
Yet we were complete.

She's the girl with the Bambi Eyes
Hidden behind a pair
of heart-shaped sunglasses
The ones I bought her

I like to roll her name
off the tip of my tongue
from the pit
of the fire
of my *****

Great artists steal
She took my heart
and fueled it with temptation
and had me
fullfill her wish lists

with kisses of wishful thinking
if I thought I was going
to get more than pics

Seductive
snapshots
slipping
Something beautiful
in the back of my mind for once
'cause all I see dark
things sometimes

It'd be nice to shed some light
on the situation
like I'm worthy of enlightenment
we are all one narrative
choose your own anima archetype

******,
operative
word
plays
my heart like a harp
and makes life seem
more
harmonious

The more she stares me down
with
assisted
spontaneous
combustion
on her mind

Everyone's out to outdo everyone else
It's not even about meaning anymore
It's how much press coverage it gets
Whoever makes them "just" statistics
And there's no fantasy draft yet

Somewhere alone in his dark place
Ruminating his environment
Some bedwetting, fire starting, animal abuser
Infantilized by the hatred of maternal instincts
Projected on him
De-evolved

He likes the way she hurts him
She abuses open hand words
or clenched up fists of embarrassment
It just fuels his homicidal tendencies
His brains on the hate frequency
And he's ready to let the fantasy slip

Home is where the heartless host
absence of emotional ghosts
the boy
the man
the monster

He lost it

Family annihilator,
He took his mother out last
So she'd suffer through
the destruction of the *******
Her wasted wish
of abortion'd children.

This was before the news vans
This was before the first respondents
This was before the society outlash

Back to him alone in a dark place
In the depths of his disturbing mind
He sets higher stakes.

"The problem is,
You look for meaning in everything"

Shouldn't everything about a problem have meaning?

I'm not here to f-ck you Molly
     But maybe I can still make you feel beautiful
          Even if you're dead.

You were an "A" girl
     in the red-light district

This side of town
     Your Daddy was a politician

And his best friend
     Was your last appointment

They found your bones under the floorboards,
Molly.
They wanted to put you in a display case,
Molly.
What's your unfinished business
Molly?

You're still showcasing your soul
As an apparition of this apartment

They're here

Isn't it time to move on?
Don't you have light to travel through,
  to get to another physical vehicle?

What keeps you illuminating this place?
I'm not here to ***** you out
Maybe I'm just trying to understand,

What really happens when we die,
Molly?
Are they trafficking ghosts here for profit
Molly?
Have you soul'd out,
Molly?

You're just the
diamond in the rough
streets  Chi-burbia

The girl next-door archetype

I'm just the
scumbag
psychopath
soliciting
snapchats

Darling,
Don't you wanna
get disrespected?

I know this wine
is loosening my lips

How about you?

Are you all wet yet?
Do you want me
to come in?

Short and sweet
like the life of the diabetic

We're all hypochondriacs
To the human conditioning

We've been taught
to be themselves
not ourselves.

No child left behind while evolution is staggering
Tripping our own feet divided by class systems 
Get off my lawn

They're still asking,
"where do you see yourselves in 5 years?"
and I still don't know,
this short-term impulse control needs to learn longevity

Miss Amphetamine,
It's been two weeks
Since I bowed down
to speak in tongues
To worship you.

You ****.
You told me
That you'd see me next Tuesday
When I felt my soul
wasn't enough.

But I met someone else
She sets my soul on fire
sings my body electric
and keeps my
electro-magnetic heart
stimulated

Attracting the opposite
of what you held together
and selfishly beat
with chemicals

Miss Amphetamine,
you were my soul's
straight jacket

A cuckold of imagination
you got off
on watching me
**** myself

Now that
I’ve told
you all my secrets

Won’t you come
in the night
and ****** me
with the truth?

Push me down,
and tie me to the bed
that I made
Freudian-slipping
between layers of
in vino veritas
conversations

When I manifested
from under the mask
where I just
want to be accepted
as both the light
and my shadow

Won’t you come
pull my dark passenger
from the
dark
depths
of my sacral chakra?

My deepest desires
spiraling out,
you've
got me
wrapped around
your finger

I am the snake
coiled around
the core
of the sweetest
fruit
I just want to
savor

Then slither
back home

To the
Goddess of the Abode

To decompress
this tension

To Rise up and
slit my throat
at the vortex
of expression

She's no
Fragile
*******
Flower

She'll plant
Seeds
in
sanity

And grow
Through
Telepathic
Psychopathy

Passed
the
past
too rough
for diamonds

What didn't **** her
made her outpower
her ego

And she sent her soul
To cocktease
my cognitive construct
in haunting hallucinations

The girl next door
frantically feeling me up
via shared consciousness

She
suppressed
this obsession
So she's always
locked in my mind
like a ***** secret

She holds
the key
like a
cuckold

constricting roots
to hold me down
to Earth
with
no
release

She's
a wild
*******
flower

Enter: Insecure like your neighbor's router.
The girl next door vs. an identity crisis
Caught in the torment of her name
Konfusion
The Konstantine of your dreams
In a nightmare of reality
The relationship
She fell out of
To follow a polluted path
             To become
                    A misled materialized martyr

After
He says to her,
Something misogynistic
about her role
Or what he thinks he can control
To put her in her place
She's just a pawn on his chessboard
Never a Queen he should be fighting for
Using her body as a human shield
to avenge his own shadows

Exploited.
This is their daily
He's the blade 
And she's the self-harm
Tracing the anti-battlescars
Writing love on her arms

Just when the knife couldn't cut any deeper
Somewhere between 
Too far
And fillet o' soul
She had enough 
but didn't break
Just felt her ego pull

Broken/Free
She packed her eternal baggage
And hit the runway
Running on the emptiness inside.
Fueled by frustrations
To keep the fire burning 
Before she doused herself in the elixir

A hungry ghost 
purging patience 
In spite of everything
Soon to be made up 
And lined up for the onslaught 
Led to slaughter what dignity she has left

She says, "Oh, but I'll show him now. I'm not his precious little prize"

...

I'm sorry we all blame the victim
     Around here you looked so appealing
Designed with destruction in mind
     oblivious to your inner struggle

Just like everyone

But being like everybody
is like being nobody
and your body
is no body

It's a shell
     a prison of plastic and made up beauty

Sealed away
     You suppressed your inner Goddess

A martyr
     for the material world
           missing out on truth

Just a submissive sacrifice
You believed what they promised.

I'm sorry I treated you like
the groupie I've never had.
The things I said in haste
The anti-promises made

Wipe the stars from your eyes
I was more like a black hole
Imploding your soul

I ****** up your heart
And got your hopes up
I saw your dreams as meant
to be taken advantage of

Little miss broken
Mind if I muse you?
to abuse your beauty
and exploit your insides
for the sake of poetry

I could blame it on
Goddess oppression,
My misogynistic intentions
deep rooted by living vicariously
through an idea of a rockstar
Burnt out before I'm initiated in the 27 club

Black holes still in your personality
I can't just tell you
I was scraping the bottom of the barrel
Trying to keep the void filled
with inspiration
In desperation
We both ended up
occupying insides
caught in a euphoric tide

That oxytocin's a helluva drug
at least for it's half-life
We both came crashing
right/write where I intended
Reincarnated,
by the words I've mended

I'm calling you out
Of my mind
Manifest yourself
Come on, blow up in my face

To the:
Bombshell
With the short fuse
I'll be your Molotov cocktail
You be my fiery muse

I keep seeing your face
In sepia torn scenery
In the art of my dreams
trying to photoshop reality

To the:
Dream Girl
With her totem locked
I'll join you in a free fall
As I violently shake back awake
Alone

So it goes...

You're dancing my imagination
Heart-beating my soul
Tango of illumination

I felt your grace
In telepathic foreplay
My little mind-fu©k
life's stranger than fantasy

To the:
Princess,
Crowned in roses
I'll savor you as a Goddess
When you open your sweet blossom

So it goes...

You're dancing my imagination
Heart-beating my soul
Tango of illumination

Fire of my *****
Rising up my spine
We could be enlightenment-to-be
Like Nirvana
      Come on blow my mind

Eye-******
by the
Pastor's Daughter

On Christmas Eve
With the rest of the
fair-weather Christians
it's the most wonderful
time of year
To pretend you care
about someone
other than yourself
just believe
in something
greater
and fake
infinity
for a minute

I'm pretty sure
There's a ring around her finger
Like the wreath around
some Savior
or whatever
her Dad was saying
in service
about some symbol of
love
being everlasting
being everlasting
Like a mirror
looking into a mirror
Staring down your own soul
and judging

In the background
I feel her at the back
of my head
she's staring me down
her sights are set
she's locked and loaded
she's racing
some sin circus
in my
Unraveling mind
She's begging me
to start unwrapping
her clothes
like a Christmas present
moaning
ripping
and tearing
her *******
off
like bows
on the gift
of transgressions

I look back to an empty pew
and the ghosts of
my past and future
temptations.

Hello Eve
I Am Man
let me MANipulate you
make you MINE

          Helen of Troy,
          I held you on high
          Put the *****
          on a pedestal

Mary,
divinity in the
mirror, mirror
objectification
of my own reflection

          Sophia,
          Set my soul on fire
          ***-trafficked my heart
          into art

Are you done
losing your mind yet?
You just get so weird
Sometimes
Do you know what other
people say?
You're the reason
You're alone
You did this to yourself
Have you tried not
being this way?
You just gotta put
forth the effort
to not feel so empty
Let the machines
fill you with compassion

Miss Maiden,
might I compare you
to that of the guillotine?

Your swooping grace
like the edge of a
shining
silvery blade
that curves and cuts
across the sky
so seductively
slitting the throat
of the horizon

From the threshold of dreams
to bring a new day
Where we feed our blood
back into the monotonous machine
then drop to our knees
and pray for divine intervention

My femme fatale,
Could you take me out of this?
to break cycle
before you wax away

You know you were always
my favorite deity,

Artemis, Artemis
You’re the art I miss
from a life unfulfilled
From the music

The untold story
agonizing inside
writhing for a release

So I’m drawing you down
to this plane
to hunt me as a willing sacrifice.

Won’t you drop from the sky
and come blow my mind?

Just leave my head in the basket.

A surrender to the Supermoon
   The larger than life presence
   Plucking my heart strings
Got me caught up
   In a dark **** fantasy
   About a little death and rebirth

If I go down
   it better be on the divine mother
   Level: Oedipal
Submission towards her power stance
   slipping my fingers up Mother Nature's dress
   In child's pose
  
Inhaling her presence
   she pulls me to the clouds
   to get to the Holy **** of the sky
To be the mother-******
Tracing infinity loops with my tongue
   trying to see how many licks it takes
   to get to the center of innocence

Back to before it all began to end

Flooding the floors
   She bathes me in moonlight
   The illumination marinates my little transgressions
Drowning out the light pollution
   Purifying my mind
   with the ***** things she whispers
Swaddled up in a bulletproof aura
   Swallowed whole by the void of existence
   I've never felt more secure

Manic Pixie Dream Girl,
I'm sorry I slaughtered
Your sweet-heart

You tasted like
electro-magnetism
when I pulled 
the sword from inside you
like ******* symbolism

In an anti-synchronistic
fashion
I lured you in
Led you on and 
broke the law 
of attraction

It was supposed to slay the dragon
not the anima

All you wanted was
to make me feel alive 
without drugs.

I gave into temptation
And let the patriarchal door 
Of oppression 
Smack your *** 
on the way out

The fire of my *****
went to my head 
And I killed chivalry dead

Long live debauchery

You just wanted to be
the light of my life

Now it's the shadow
And I
******* in light 
of your bloodshed.

I'm never violent
unless it's self-inflicted

**** me for feeling
something
worthy of a heartbeat
right?

Pulsating my wrists
to my fists
and unleash vibrations
in a caustic manner

I will destroy the dreams
of Darling Wreckless,
wracking my brain
like Mara's
malicious temptations

A self-destructive
sequence
in a God-mode
fashion

They cut up her face
  to spite who knows

She cut off some weight
      despite her bones

She’s starved for grace
    like a hungry ghost

Is it passion?
Is it addiction?

The way she suffers
so stranger than fiction

She’s waning away
    just like the moon

It’s just the way
    the darkness consumes

As they edit away
    her absolute heart of the poem

Cut, copy paste
they stretched the truth
across her face

Now the disenchanted runway
calls her name

“Depersonalization"

Baby girl,
you were born
with it

Now you’ve
just been
manipulated!

The transformation
was a success
but you’re still sentient!

Screaming
"Being like everybody
is like being nobody
and this body
is no body
it’s a plastic prison"

built on a template
of all your false expectations

We need to
    cut off the face
    of the status quo

There’s nothing divine
    left to her ratio

Knock the Goddess
    from the pedestal

Woke up from the American Dream
     Hungover
     Hellbent on reality

After I saw the worst minds of my generation
      Destroy with their madness
      Rather than exploit their demons

They shot them in the heart with anti-depressants
     and let them wake up
     dead to ambition

They prescribed me like you
     Withdrawal made me like me
    
GOD MODE ON

Just reach for the sun we're touched by
      Fire in the mind.
      Controlled flame

I am American Madness
     Mommy's little monster gone manic
     Mood swinging from the right intentions

I am American Madness
     Jumping this shark with the high horse I rode in on
     Saving my country from soapbox to soapbox

I am American Madness
     The revolution in our minds manifested
     standing up for something un-televised

The psychos in sheep clothing
     Lycanthropy at the right time
     Letting out our own Howl

Standing present
       Our hands are red white and blue in guilt.
       With the ghosts that we're dragging from past lives

Tearing the throat out of
        the things we can run
                but can't hide

Fighting off our demons
      Transmuting the nightmares
      Caught in the American dream catcher.

We could be the champions of the oppressed
      Crossing the first threshold
     We all come back around together

© kenHeike, 2k13

Tryna brave the belly of the beast
But this enemy of me
Has got hands-

I’ve never metaphor for anxiety
Like this one
Imposter syndrome-

I was only a dark forest away
from who I needed to be
But feelings of self-doubt and inadequacy
Are twisting clouds so forebodingly 

Mara’s army fires arrows
Raining streams of self-consciousness
Like I wasn’t ready to self destruct
on impact -
detonation

I laugh and share memes of self-deprecation
Social media the new god
Where we worship ourselves
By constantly trying to impress
everyone else

Venmo me Dopamine tributes
With the truth in a cave of
depression and
Isolation

Maybe Holly’s right
And I do need to be here
She shines the light
On the darkness
In the hospital wing
5th floor at Evanston
But I’m afraid I’ve grown too codependent
On this astral plane
I’ve projected
And romanticized
these Ambien nights
Only to awake neglected
Screaming out her name
In sleep paralysis
On a dark night-


When I’m manic
I try to live it out like I’m in a movie
Projecting inner struggles
As external conflicts
To make the scene more interesting
Until I’m in this final battle alone like Odysseus
Lost all my friends when the monster ate our ship and I took em for granted caught up
Between a rock and a hard place-
Depressed and Hyper-sexualization
when spring is here again

I’m in the first act dip
edging the ******-
Stimulating the simulation

Be my constant
like Desmond
and the Island

When you and me
met between nosebleeds
and seizures of consciousness

We looked to the sky
and watched
electromagnetic
explosions

That held our hearts
pumping out supernovas
In their hands
we were Gods
respectively
blowing
Buddha minds
out of proportion
re-enacting
some center stage production
of how we shift our own reality

Subtly
unspoken
devoid of emotions
lost like a lighter
in a smoke circle

Offsetting
the light and darkness

But You were always my constant
again and again
in
flash-backs
flash-forwards
flash-sideways
*We could never escape the timeline

My life is a mess
     no metaphor
     could ever mean

My ambition
is being held captive

Lost
in the chaos of logic

Like a game of chess
    I need to be saved
    by the Queen

Wishful thinking
For divine intervention

Summoning
*The Goddess of this machine