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It's 2:00 am in the morning.
And I wish I could hug you tight,
instead of pillow.
I could feel your arms wrapped around me,
 instead of blanket.
I could listen to your heartbeat,
instead of rain.
And I wish it was you on my side,
instead of him.

It's 2:00 am in the morning,
and I'm wishing for nothing.
We're all addicted to something,
That takes the pain away.
I'm addicted to cigarettes,
And dancing in the rain.
The cigarette will numb my brain,
And the rain will numb my blood.
So when I cut my skin wide open,
I don't feel a single one.
for every thought of you
i stole a kindling star
from the night sky
to keep the thought warm

until the moon
shattered shivering
from the starless cold

i saw my thieving hands
glittered with the heavens

they were not a galaxy of you
but a constellation of me
if you’re only truly yourself at 2 A.M.
then i’m *******.

because i’m all never ending nonsensical babble
and maniacal hysterical laughter
and psychedelic daydreams
and unconsciously conscious
and loose lips.

and i’ve got heightened senses and it scares me sometimes
it scares whomever i’m with sometimes too

i find everything hilarious
from the ceiling to the floor
i’m absolutely delirious
and i run my mouth more than i should

i tell secrets, i share gossip
my brain takes a short vacation
and my filter shuts down
and even my subconscious seems to have the day off

and there i am
on a bed, on the floor, on a couch, in a room
in somewhere, with somebody, doing something

and i go crazy.

so if you’re only truly yourself at two o’clock in the morning
i’m gonna sleep through the night every night
and hope i don’t wake up until it’s nine.
Isn’t it funny how the memories we used to love to get lost in are the same ones that **** us a little more each day.
The memories that you always told yourself you wouldn’t dare forget.
The memories that made you tingle, made you smile, made you blush.
Those sacred memories that only the two of you shared.
Those memories that used to bring you the up most happiness, are now that ones that break you.
The single thought of them shatters you over and over again the more you think of them, because now they hurt.
They’re not happy memories anymore.
They’re memories that you want to put at the back of your mind.
That you want to forget. Because they remind you of what you had.
They remind you that you’ll never get those feelings back, those moments back. That person back.
So you wake up each day and try your hardest to block them out.
But all they do is hit you.
Hit you like a freight train reminding you of that terrible mistake you made.
And that no matter what you do or say, those memories will never become happy again. You’ll never get lost in them again. You’ll just dwell on them. You’ll accept the pain, and try each day to remember to forget.
Warm hands outstretched,
Hey, are you okay?
Welcoming eyes of fire,
Please, I'm asking you to stay.
And now I realize, that at that first touch,
I should have walked away.
 Mar 2016 The Demons Within
Our love was like those cigarettes you smoked,
so hot it can put a hole in your heart,
the smoke fills our veins and we began to choke,
and the cigarette died before the fire could start.
 Mar 2016 The Demons Within
i never intended to start smoking
i promised
but when you kissed me with smoke on your lips
i needed a way
to make that last forever
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