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 Nov 2015 Katherine Laslie
Flo
Baby I'm fading
You're like venom
Spreading inside, infecting my heart
It's making me numb
I'm trapped
Inside your cruel game of love
You won
isn't that enough?
No...
You have to break every piece of me
Some people just have the ability to drive you crazy.
You see that tear slide from her eye
Yet you do nothing
You walk away unsure of yourself
She falls to her knees and cries
You continue to walk away
Thinking only of yourself
It was your fault
Yet you deny it
Later you'll break up with her
And then complain about it
That she wasn't good enough
You could do better

You notice your grades slip
And you complain about it
But you don't study
You say school is stupid
It's a waste of time
Yet you take a test and get upset at the results
You get help for that job placement test
And yet you still say school is ****

You get the job that you wanted
But it doesn't play out like you dreamed
You complain about it
And let yourself feel sorry
Yet you don't try at it
You let it eat you alive
Still not trying and yet you think you deserve a raise
You think it will happen if you stay long enough

You let your body go
Eating, partying, playing games
And you complain about it
Yet you don't try to fix it
You don't feel like working out
Or running like you use to
You say you'll do it later
but never do
Life, you say, *****
But you never try to make it better
You say maybe later I'll take a stab at it

You get angry at everything
Your job
Your friends
Your games
Your life
Yet you don't do anything about it
You'll throw things, hit things, but worst of all

You'll complain
My life flashed before my eyes
That's when I knew it was full of lies.

So many people come and go
Pulling my heart strings to and fro.

People think of it as a game
To make my life so full of pain.

All the tears and blood I've let leek
All because I've been dubbed a freak.

Even the one that claimed he loved me left
Breaking what was left of the heart in my chest.

A mother who lectures me
When all I want is to be set free.

One day I almost died
No one but me sat down and cried.

It made me wonder if I should of let go
At that moment the depression decided to show.

I wish to be numb
But I know that feeling is never going to come.

Why can't people care
Life just isn't fair.

It was so painful, I wish I never had to see
My life, flash before me.
Her name is Katherine
I call her Katie
She and she alone is my best friend
She listens to my problems
And helps distract me
From a life of pain and complications
Lately, she and she alone has been my rock
A long time ago
Had it not been for her
I would have gone into darkness and swallowed whole
Losing myself to the shock

I have a sister and brother
A middle child I am
Although there are three
My parents only acknowledged two

Now there is my sister
The youngest of the three
The baby and most loved
She likes to make mom cry
And claims she wants to die

The oldest is my brother
Kicked out long ago
He liked to do drugs
And hit me
He loved to fight with my father
And destroy the peace, Slaughter

My mother
Loves my sister
And claims my brother
Me however
Well I'm a disappointment
Never good enough
A lecture
Never a nice gesture

And last there's my father
Who picks on me
But that's ok because that's how he loves
But he's never home
Always at work
And sides with my mom
When he isn't making her yell at him
He hits really hard
And when he plays it's rough
I figure it's because he's trying to make us tough

That's my family
Not always nice
Many of the reasons I cut my skin with a knife
Because I can't help it, that this is my life.
 Nov 2015 Katherine Laslie
Brooke
No one sees the pain she hides
The black and blue, she tries to disguise

Memories are few of happier days
For this little girl once named Kaye

Her fathers pride, her mothers pearl
Become distant memories for this little girl

A skinny bag of merely bones
A life of hell become her home

Her dad a drunk, her mother enraged
She's released the animal once caged

She's stabs her once, but hits her plenty
The tears are few, but the bruises are many

She uses food as a tool
But this little girl is no one's fool

She begs and steals for a crust of bread
The once love for her is now dead

One day or even up to four
The food game she uses on her

This little girl once named Kaye
Finds her will and will not cave

The nurse, her teachers were the ones who cared
To find her an out that no one before had dared

The police involved, her life now changed
A beaten and battered child no longer enslaved
I seen beneath my eyelids
I was a black silhouette
of an entity outlined in
platinum aura eclipse
and the visions fell
far & fell hard
from a teardrop chandelier
hanging from the ceiling
in my skull &
shattered
the crude
jewel encrusted
crescent floor

then thunder roared
in the distance &
erupted the crown,
unleashing a copious
explosion of white
gold light
& my skeleton
sheds the snakeskin
& escapes
thru the hole in my head;

just crawls right out,

bubbles up & becomes
a pink heart shaped balloon
& it floats

up. out. away.

creeps thru one of
the holes in the ozone,
straight into the sun
& burns up.

star burst.

&  that's soul.
Introspection.
That's what it feels like
Depression
I've never really talked about
My depressed days that much
Its just a part of me
I can never really reveal to other people
This is hard
It never really leaves you you know
Its like your just numb
You can lay there for hours staring
At the ceiling
Doing nothing
Thinking nothing
Or you can be
Lying on your bedroom floor
Tears streaming down your face
Crying silently alone
Burning all the memories
You want to never remember
But somehow can never let go of
You can have the blade in your hand
Running across your skin creating
Lines of red
Lines of pain
Lines of anger
Of heartbreak
No one even knows
You hide it so fucken well
The pain is unbearable
But you can't let it show through
Smile
Laugh even
No one notices
No one notices the scars
You keep your jumper on to hide them
Even on hot summer days
Your skirt hides the lines on your thigh
No one notices
No one knows that the happiest person they know
Truly isn't
They're broken
Cut up
Terrible
 Nov 2015 Katherine Laslie
Brooke
I thought a lot today, that doesn't happen often.

I thought about how I lost a big sister
I thought about how I am the only to laugh at my jokes
I thought about the days when I used to fit into a size six

I'm not one to often feel sorry for myself but when I think, I put myself into a bad mood.

I travel back to the days when I used to live with my father. He was once good, you know, but drugs can take a lot from a man

I went back to the day I broke my arm when I fell out of an apple tree and lied because I didn't want to get my grandma in trouble for not watching me

I went back to the day when they buried my best friend because of the sickness that invaded his body

I thought back to Thursday when I didn't hear my name called for the second round

I think back to all of the bad memories because that's all I can remember. Sad, right?

I told myself I'd write a happy poem but how can you write a poem without putting all of your emotions and thoughts into it? And the only thing I'm feeling and thinking right now is sadness

I'll just add "write a happy poem" to my bucket list, because I know that I'm not going to be able to write one soon

*maybe this is why i don't think a lot.
 Nov 2015 Katherine Laslie
Flo
Back in the days I saw the kids
Playing outside
Enjoying their every moment
underneath the sun

We used to play in the dirt
No one cared how we looked
We ripped our jeans
No boundaries between us

We did not know the definition
Of colour, religion, race
We did not care
We were innocent

How I wish those times were back
The childish ignorance
No hate, judgement, discrimination
Some of us should take that as an example
Just another poem on tolerance. Children don't care about skin colour or other apearances. Sometimes even the youngest can teach us a lesson.
 Nov 2015 Katherine Laslie
Flo
I dream of the ocean
I dream of the white beach
I dream of the twilight
When the sun drowns in the sea

Sitting by myself
My fingers play in the sand
As I stare into the distance
The reflection of the moon on the water

The feeling of security
The feeling of complete relaxation
This is paradise
Please don't wake me up
Everyone knows the feeling when they have to wake up and leave sweet dreams behind.
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