Kagami

Kagami Dec 2019

Quiet. Sickeningly quiet.
Watching silhouettes pass outside
While the salt dries to the floor at my feet.

Why am I here, waiting?

#midnight #lonely #waiting #winter #snow #salt #quiet

Kagami Jul 2019

Untitled

Dependency. A cruel fate for a young millennial.
In this country, karma means nothing
Ethics are fiction, as I've found out.
Relying on the manipulative rich man.
He's different for everyone.
Where do you get your checks from?

#economy #blurb #money #debt #paycheck #millennial #karma #ethic

Kagami Mar 2019

Untitled

I deleted all of my poems about you
I'm trying to forget the love I had and lost
The act done onto me tore you away from me
And it hurts knowing we both regret everything

#breakup #engagement #**** #betrayal #love #i #miss #him

Kagami Mar 2019

Means to an end

I still cry over you.
I still mourn the love we had.
As pure as it was.
I never thought we'd be here.
Though another love has graced me,
I miss your unique touch
And the way you appreciated me.
Mistakes make us.
And break us.
I don't blame you.
I never did.

I can't listen to Van Halen
Or watch more of the shows we binged
Or even eat popcorn
Without thinking of you and everything we had.
Nostalgia plagues me
And keeps me feeling
Even though I shouldn't.

I was engaged to a wonderful man, once upon a time. I was ***** by who I thought was a friend. Neither of us knew how to deal with it, and for a while, he was in denial about the violent act. He wanted to believe I had just cheated rather than been violated because it was easier to deal with, even though that thought process made him feel betrayed. It ended. It had to. But I can't help but still love him and miss him, even if its just nostalgia.

#nostalgia #breakup #engaged #love #loss #blame #popcorn #mistakes #you #him

Kagami Sep 2017

Undone

Concentration.
A game.

A game is about laughter,
Not frustration,
Not confusion,
But some games beg
For panic.

They'll ask you why you quit,
But they won't agree.
They'll say you didn't try hard enough.

Spoil sport.
Sore loser.

I am a sore loser when games challenge my patience.
When games remind me too much
Of life.
Or when that's
Exactly
What it is.

#life #game #feelings #depression #stress #patience #loser #panic

Aug 2017

Jeremy Bean

Pick a Side.

Doesn't matter
what side of the wing you are on
if the bird is sick,
you all hit the ground together.
You are the mites,
biting away
at its already ruffled feathers.
or the fleas
feasting on its anemic flesh
and its invisible cage
is just big enough
for you
to make a choice.

Kagami Aug 2017

In one summer

In one summer, I've become an alcoholic. I've become a reckless shadow of myself.
In one summer I caused the love of my life to distrust me. I showed him my weaknesses and he refused to forgive.
In one summer, I've proven to myself that I'm not strong enough to live. The once terrifying vision of a starile hospital ward seems welcoming now.
In one summer I've managed to convince myself I have nothing left.

#alcoholic #depression #hospital #nothing #empty #selfharm #fear #trust #love