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Aug 16 · 31
YOU
Srujani Aug 16
YOU
I don't know who cares for me and
I don't even care for the words which been said
But when ever it comes to you
It's all differs

All these joy of yours makes me happy
All your surprises makes me jolt
All your tears makes me weak

Sorry that I'm a cold bug
But trust me-
Hope is all what I do
Under the pounding heart smiling like an idiot
But can u still see my eyes shining?
Did u found anything??
Aug 10 · 52
JUST FOR YOU
Srujani Aug 10
You are a temporary person
who made permanent scares in my life
whose wounds are still so fresh
like a beaten flesh
Even now after everything
the excitement you give after a long time text
Is so fluttering
And then
you like and leave my message
Making me pale and drain again
Breaking this heart again and again
Now all i can do is
Embracing the imagination I had
Regretting the confession I made
Hating the fact which I hold
That i still make my heart to wait
Just for you!
....?
Srujani Aug 4
i wish i could be writer of my own character
who can cherish the happy
and abolish the sad moments as dream
still bearing the pain
getting the lesson to gain

i wish i could be a writer of my own character
who can disappear at a threat
and pop in at an urge to meet
without wasting any vitality on the feet
  
i wish i could be writer of my own character
who can skip the casual boring days
or just can take a pause on
some busy tiring nights

i wish i could be writer of my own character
who could wipe away people and garbage
and replace mind with some more savage
add few more memories
and make a life of no worries

i wish i could be a writer of my own character
make out any reality as an expectation
and expectation as an illusion
removing regrets atleast from the heads
just to lessen the sleepless nights

but wait!
at the end
i can anyway be writer to eligible
but can that book be a legible?
I'm stuck between my dreams and reality...
Jul 26 · 175
PAILNDROME
Srujani Jul 26
Sometimes all you need
is the same warmth in the hug you gave
the same care you shown on someone
same words you said to give strength
the same consolation you made

Sometimes all you need
is to get the same thing you gave
to someone on someday
which could make heart a better thing to have
and earth a better place to live....
Jul 14 · 52
Unlike
Srujani Jul 14
Anything unlike normal
eventually feels sad and vulnerable
Perhaps ends up making people proud
You are doing it right
Just keep going
Jul 11 · 52
HER
Srujani Jul 11
HER
Found herself
when she found out that she lost herself while chasing
Jul 11 · 49
Untitled
Srujani Jul 11
DAYS ARE LONGER
BUT YEARS ARE SHORT
IDKY
Jun 19 · 121
IT'S OK RIGHT?
Srujani Jun 19
This feel of sadness without any reason
This tiredness without any work
Burning eyes without any tear
Hurting heart without any incident
Why? why is it all happening??
Is it ok to be like this for this night?
Am sure I gonna wakeup with a charismatic smile tomorrow morning
Then why is this night seems like a long achy summer day??
Jun 15 · 49
THE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE
Srujani Jun 15
Nothing got changed
sleeping on couch &
waking up on bed
from the scolds with spoon feed
to the endless calls of worried food cycle

Nothing got really changed
still the same smile knocking
the same warmth caressing
since from the return after school
to returning after weeks

How can something get changed
from happy calls
to anxiety rush dial asking out for that peace for soul
I only reach out you
who can really give the same even if they are the best

like even after their dreadful day
they are the one lying down and thinking
"he must be going through alot these days am so proud him"
How can really something get changed in this case?
well...I say! every heart knows the answer
<3
Jun 15 · 42
IT'S YOU
Srujani Jun 15
From the time of
feeling alone in a crowd
To the days of
not alone anymore even being alone
it's you!
only you! who made some magic in this heart
without even getting in...
Jun 11 · 53
HOW
Srujani Jun 11
HOW
how can I say a person hating me that
"forget about hate even now, I still can't stop loving you"?
how can I take that, all this hate is
happening just like that with out any reason?
and how should I face the fact and then you that
one day we gonna see eachother on a reunion...
Jun 4 · 355
MAJILI
Srujani Jun 4
In the part of growing up
I realized that
crying is not a sign of weakness
anger issues are never an excuse
out spoken is not attitude
introvert is not an abnormality
keeping secret is not a matter of pride
being busy doesn't count under fake
choosing alone doesn't mean hating people
being sad doesn't mean you are not happy
and feel of home doesn't always need a house

meaning of words always do differ beyond people
time really do heal everything eventually
choices doesn't count with any friendship
mistakes are meant to be done just to learn
and perfection is almost an illusion

in the way of growing up
I tend to cherish the stays than crying on lefts
love these abnormalities which were always nah's being a kid
feel happy in dark days just remembering
the proud time of future remembering this today
I tend to thank my trauma which I used to hate the most
I tend to accept the reality just while am writing being lost!
The day I found there's nothing beautiful than to grow up
I felt my heart knocking in happiness
and I don't know why
May 27 · 1.3k
ALL OF MY LIFE
Srujani May 27
Never knew you have The truth untold behind
to make you Hold me tight
am just loving this Serendipity
that you are the cause of my Euphoria
Begin during my Epiphany of Fake love Tear days
made it went smooth like Butter

you are the only Butterfly of My time that
I can't Let go on what Your eyes tell
Promise you never to Lie despite of any Purpose
let the rhythm of our Heartbeat make out a Magic shop
where memories can Stay Forever young

Love like Life goes ON Still with you
heart said I need u even
when i imagined being you Like! Pied piper Filter
even when it went all Blue & grey

now after all this Love maze
I know i can Make it right
there is no 00:00 needed to Fix you
let me be you're Anpanman
Stay gold....i found my Home
let me show you how it looks like
when it comes to a Boy with luv

ugh! Everythingoeson Just one day my Paradise!
but for now let your Inner child
sleep like Winter bear under the Moon Light,
Tomorrow let's Awake with a cup of Spring days Coffee
where i gonna Film out with The eternal smile of yours
& do anything For you!
May 26 · 330
FALLEN OUT OF LOVE
Srujani May 26
that moment
when you
found out
that you
fallen out of love
from the
love of your life ;(
How to fall in love again?
How to live this life again?
May 23 · 1.2k
⁷ Purple heart
Srujani May 23
IMAGINE
Just imagine loving someone just looking at them
observing their smallest gestures and acts
& getting excited like a kid
where you never found yourself like this before

laughing just because they are laughing
getting touched with their words which were actually so usual

sometimes being lover feeling proud
sometimes feeling like a mom who is proud of her child

finding the cuteness in their hotness
finding the vividness when everything was blur
finding the similarities knowing more as if like a serious PHD

and
and that smile when you watch their pic
where one day suddenly finding out that you can hear pictures
finding out that their name had became an emotion

and finally accepting the truth that
they actually don't even know your existence
but also accepting that this will be the love till eternity
In the world of temporary loves
I feel at least this fangirling will forever⟬⟭
May 20 · 112
?
Srujani May 20
?
neither wanna do something
nor wanna stay here still
then suddenly these tears shuts awaking all the past
uselessly where even knowing it is
still heart feeling those thorns

regretting the regret of wasting the now second
every time failing in a war facing being alone
can I get some strength to prove doing alone?
coz I know I can succeed when there is an helping hand
May 18 · 98
FACT
Srujani May 18
being low is ok until you get to know
that you are depressed
with depressed mind
suffering from so called depression
starting from there everything hits so differently
even the tears which fall down asks more for it's successors
tips of curvy smile's feels like thorns
hitting through tiring all the whole day
feeling the feel of being fake
hating the hate of loving yourself
still couldn't stop any!
May 18 · 98
THE URGE OF SOUL
Srujani May 18
when the first time I loved you
even unperfect things felt like perfect
it just went, not letting the hands go apart
but this is the only thing I couldn't realize

when the first time I loved you
the trust you gave was so mesmerizing
that I still miss that wore off newness
but this is the only thing I couldn't realize until it left

when the first time I loved you
the vibes that my heart gave
with those butterflies in my stomach
but the only thing I didn't even imagined
was this not being forever

why is it always me
who realizes the value after the moment leaves
"it was not the same"
but still stubborn heart says STAY
you are born for this
though time making it harder
destiny is cheering up to hold on that hand

things might not be the same
the beauty may starts to fade out
but instead of letting go
just hold those hand while finding the things concealed
there's no way that your soul was wrong in this case!
Loving for long time may sometimes get harder even with the right one
Why don't someone close your eyes remember the quest you had
It can make the trouble less
May 17 · 147
JUST FOR FUN
Srujani May 17
life: make me look smoother;)
me: huh! well...what about trying for more good memories and least regrets
life: yahhh!! Am done T_T
Meme lovers get this well
May 17 · 49
SHADOW
Srujani May 17
I didn't knew that you became my shadow.
when I ran away from you
seems like you were before me
where bright light of your love was felt behind

the shadow on me
when the happy light showered
& filled all over the room holding
during dark days
where I actually thought you weren't

I didn't knew that you became shadow of mine
protecting
holding
reforming
molding in the way now I'm
now!! let me promise
To be human version your shadow
that can never be left
May 13 · 106
THERE ARE NO RULES
Srujani May 13
This so called life
is not the same to everyone
where it is unfair to many
at times too fair to many more

This so called life
is not the same to everyone

There are some who never gave up
even after the dark buries
there-some who just gave up think off once

There are people who gave another chance to make them fall
who once broke them
there are some broke up just on the point of suspension
where once an obsession

From the bond of no words like forever but still holding
to some having the scars of memories holding up lies

From the self-wreck of regrets for little things
to the people who never looks back even after great sins

And for everyone of us
it is justifiable in our own ways
that's where the magic of life lies
SAYING
Just forget what world says and
to go ask out your heart instead what to be done
Life-utopia to everyone's eyes
Srujani May 9
When you were in a stage
remembering all those memories you had
with your old friends
Crying out yelling in your mind saying
'I regret joining here'
When you were suffering in
and acting out that you don't care
but deep inside you were all alone
All those days
you thought no single creature was looking at you
you thought no one really care for you
where couldn't handle the situations well

But the little you forgot to look at
is your own friend
who saw those eyes which were pretending
like they never know how to cry
who saw that heart which couldn't bear the pain
regretting like you had done the world's biggest sin
who saw you being abnormal unlike you used to..
still tried hard to look as cool & normal
sometimes underestimating sometimes overestimating
the things you were going through

you thought no one was looking at you
but I was just beside you looking at the things
trying to help out in a way I could do
& finally am glad that I made it done

now I just wanna say the same words you said
on the day you were laying beside
"nothing is permanent in our lives"
now tell me?
are you done with your temporary trauma??
are you happy on this birthday like I always excite for mine??
cause I do :)
you never know the smile which crept on my face
when you call me in trouble XD
sorry but
'there is someone whom I can ask out when I'm low'
is the beautiful feeling ever
& being that someone is most adorable :)
Srujani May 6
I never knew that you are the cure
until you entered into my life
the one who can make some magic
removing all the doubts filled in
the one who made me realize that
I can give one more chance to trust someone
there is no way that world is wrong
instead I where the one to whom it show all the wrong

Then, the day I realized
I promised my self not to leave you no matter what
I knew you were cold but
that was far better than promises they made n left like a stranger
I knew you were not much into talking but
fortunately the best listener to my depressed mind
I knew
I knew you were not an attention seeker but
the now me #idon'tcare is all learnt from you
There were times where life bought me down
but in the bad rainy days YOU TOOK ALL MY WORRIES AWAY

To my bestfriend who made my life glow again
entered during my dark days
I wish I would get a word greater than 'thank you' to say for everything
May 5 · 82
FOUND HER HOME <3
Srujani May 5
That gasp you let out while smiling
looking into my eyes
Like answering all my question unasked
Virtually patting through the hug
on the hope of asking out for trust
Talking to this soul
having no movement at lips
Standing out there one meter away

And then she chuckled & said
"Today I think I found those eyes which I have been craving for"
May 2 · 83
...
Srujani May 2
...
Dear words "that's my wish!"
Thanks for saving us
from most toxic talks
Thou you represent us little attitudinal
You are our savior!
Apr 30 · 90
ISN'T IT?
Srujani Apr 30
I never knew that
those hidden giggles under the blanket
will one day turn into
silent tears hugging my pillow

Never knew that
those obsessive thoughts about you
will one day make me cry
not to think about u still couldn't help myself

Never knew that
those fantasies of my routine preplans
will **** me
every time I do something new

I never knew that
those words from heart
will suddenly flash out from your mind
soon as you delete the whole chat

I literally never knew that
I'll write these all one day sitting out
with a messy hair and a messy mind
or else  I  would have never even allowed you in my life
Nah
I would have never even born to say you that I love you!
yeah! I know
I know that I am talking more but,
don't you think that time made us more worst than this?

Isn't it?
Everything will be okay in the end
if it's not okay
then it's not an ending :)
Apr 30 · 98
EVEN I DO WONDER
Srujani Apr 30
I do wonder looking into those eyes
which can make heart flutter
and at times gives the comfort
probably I could never get in this world
i DO wonder about the way they talk to me
puzzling in the same way as you said you are
Srujani Apr 30
Heart bearing the pain of a selfmade thorns tag with regret
Mind blaming each and every second boxing itself
Body left with all kind of anxiety chemicals
And then they said " it's okay to be not okay"

I mean...
What kind of **** is it?
I am not okay facing this stuff
I am not okay even if everything happened because of me
& I am enough with this quote

Now let's say
It's not okay to be not okay
It's not okay to be not okay
Because it is bleeding not knowing how to get wounded
I just need to heal
It's not okay to not okay
Cause we live only once in this life
And only way to live is to smile

Life gives us lots of trauma
Just to remind the passed out good day
So instead of suffering in that trauma
Let's have smile and face it
As someone said
"Nothing is permanent in this world"
Apr 26 · 89
ANOTHER DAY:)
Srujani Apr 26
don't know how to feel
happy or sad.
today!
today is a special day
it's been 2 week & then I got a day like this

a day with out crying again alone
a day with out self-consoling
not because I want to
but because I couldn't
not because I am alone again
but because I am alone again in a crowd

there was no day swaying god
to give me a day like this
but I think I should again sway him
to say not in this way
how hard to hold!!
how hard to push a smile
where only this pity curves knows that it's fake

well....another day of hope with shattered heart
another day of waiting for sunrise being in a trench
waiting for hook to pull up to show a light

until then let me again leave this drop of tear while writing...
a story of depression
Srujani Apr 26
Achy winter days have passed through
Bad rainy days are still on its flow
How can I say that those burning summer days are only mine
Where actually you are the one who started our Jinx January
And then shown me how blossoming a spring can be
I never asked you for anything
Even you to come into my life
Every time you came and went I thought at least you are the stable one
At last you made it all autumn leaves falling down
Just wanna know
Why I can't move on just the way you did so easily??
Now all I hope is nothing but waiting for my December

You left me
But my feelings are like being left
Hoping for no January to start again
A epiphany of an innocuous girl who fell for the wrong guy
Srujani Apr 24
Sometimes I’m scared!
I’m scared that in the way of running to be more matured
I might loose all that innocence in me!
I’m scared that in the way of
loving people owing them more & more
They might get owed someday!
& I’m literally scared that
In the way of feeling “I’m scared of heart breaks”
I might loose chances to meet some most amazing creatures ever
I’m scared that one day these
Intrusive thoughts will eat up all my mind
& make me feel empty again!!

— The End —