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Srujani Dec 2022
I don't wanna be the best
I just wanna give my best
Why do i have to fit in a box
When all i can see is them being blocks
Why do i strive to act normal
When all i can see is people with no moral
Why do you ask me to get on a level
And then expect me to have something special  

Ask me to stick to where i belong
yet again force me to get along
And then ask me to be myself,
pointing every difference in itself.
Boos me when i compare,
But do the same in the name of standards,
till i despair.
Why do you tell me to just respect and drop
when all i could think is
to embrace as home in swap,
and what you do is hate it all on the top.

You ask me to be the one
One who is casual, formal or normal
But it makes me wanna ask you,
If you are happy being such.
But I'm afraid to do so,
Afraid to lose you so,
I saw me looking at you
And felt you feeling a void in you.
So, i think i don't need to ask you anymore
Cause i can't see you masking anymore.
Srujani Sep 2022
Looks silly but
it's like the posts and videos
we like on social media.

we think once we pass through it,
it goes away
but only few are aware of the fact
that all the liked stuff are stored in a place.

we were just the same.
though we like and left,
we always had
a tender memories of each other.

where if we wanted,
we can always go back
just start from the "end"
and go through each other's
changes eventually too.

it almost feel impossible to the world
and they say their words.
But again nobody but us know
how they are nothing more than just words.
because only we know
how many impossibles we broke.

we are always
one step away from each other,
looking for anyone's world
to collapse
so that it makes us
completely enter into another.

But at this point of time
I'm afraid that
we will get needy
and destroy it ourselves
to make an excuse

just to say
"I'm enchanted to be with you."
Srujani May 2022
Said forever isn't my word
never knew you would turn it into a sword
digging deeper until it hurts
Though our fights were the worse
cause there were actually never the fights.
But now i see this empty space,
it feels like an ultimate sway just to chase
I told myself it's over, good and enough
but then again i wish it was none

and as you comes by
all my thoughts flys away
as if like they never exist
all my compliants seals away
as if like they were meant to be
all my hurt heals away
as if like it have to be
I'm telling it that was good and enough
and it denys as if it is all rough.
craving and hoping for renewal
Srujani Apr 2022
i tried to grab you and found you huge
tried to hop and found you broke
tried to hug and found you died
how do i say?
how do i say again that
Even if all the way long back to start
i would still choose you
even when i know we would die
you were dead
and we never work
When it's lost
Srujani Feb 2022
In this saga of finding answers for my unknown questions
I sometimes failed fallen and found myself lost
I sometimes felt mismatched out snatched and lonely
But ultimately, all I know is
no matter how many time it felt,
No mater how hard they hit,
I know how to deal with them.
I may be lonely some of the time, most of the time or all of the time
But after I realized that I can deal with it anyway, and then
The span did really felt secondary!
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