so tell me how does one
break free from pain?

how far being okay can be okay?
how stronger does one needs to be?
how many battles do i have to conquer
to end this misery?

because i'm tired spending
each night crying alone,
i'm done lying to people
that it doesn't hurt anymore,
i want to drown from these
unfathomable emotions nevermore.

so tell me when how does one stops the rain?
how does one break free from pain?

sudden waves of sadness
came into my shore,
enveloped my chest,
leaving me no space to breathe,
was it the pills or it was just me?

promised myself to always choose happiness,
to always live in positivity,
and my doctor said it may just
be an adverse effect,
but was it the pills or it was just me?

was it really possible?
to drown in sadness without knowing why?
i tried to seek for answers,
but was only welcomed by the dark.
so was it the pills or it was just me?

it started to rain,
and my feelings went in vain,
i didn't want to be in this cage,
so i prayed to God for some help,
was it the pills or it was just me?

i wish this hurricane will soon fade away,
for the sun to finally rise with no visible grays,
and i know I'll make it through His grace,
but it still puzzles me,
was it the pills or it was just me?

when trust has been broken,
and promises were forgotten,
can i love you the same way again?

when dreams were all shattered,
and sufferings were never heard,
shall we start all over again?

when everything has changed,
and your kisses felt stranged,
should you be my home again?


n o,    n e v e r   a g a i n .

if you like the sea,
then i like it too.
if you love sunsets,
then i love them too.

if you wish to go to the moon,
then i'll go with you.
if you want the stars,
then I'll get them for you.

but if someday,
you decided not to be
with me anymore,

what's the point in staying,
if you think i'm not worth fighting for?

you were my past and all of my future,
never would i thought you'd be my cure.
you stayed when nobody ever did,
you were there whenever i'd bleed.
so as long as the sun sets 
and river flows, 
as long as the world turns 
and the winter blows,
my soul will only sing for you.

1st day of not seeing you
2nd day of being blue
3rd day of sleepless nights
4th day of endless cries
5th day of hoping
6th day of breaking
7th day of unbearable pain
8th day of feeling insane
9th day of losing myself
10th day of what's wrong self?
11th day of finally moving on
12th day of "life must go on"
13th day of trying
14th day of wishing
15th day of convincing
16th day of forgetting you
17th day but i'm still not over you.

and suddenly we're gone.
the moments we shared turned distant memories,
the song we used to sing became   a classical piece,
the butterflies forgot to give fluttery sensations anymore.
the path we used to take became an unfamiliar road.
the half of me no longer aches for you.
our love became a folktale that no one longer recall.

love is not him,
it's about you.
love is about being selfish,
but for awhile.
love is focusing on yourself
and cultivating the
happiness in your soul.
love is Y O U .
because at the end of day,
you're only your own anchor.
nothing will be left on you,
except you.

don't get blinded with love.
it can destroy you or nourish you,
it can break you or make you whole,
it can poison you or cure you,
it can be your death or last revival.

"aren't you tired
of being broken
all the time?"

                                                          "i am.."

"so why won't
you just stop?"

                                          "because i need
                                                  someone to
                                                     save me."

"what if one day,
i'll wake up not
seeing you again?"
                                     "that won't happen.."
"that's what
he said too."

will it be a hi or bye?
boy you dont have to try,
you always make me high,
but little did you know you also make me cry.

will it be a hi or bye?
i always end up with why.
you sound so sweet when you lie,
don’t you know im about to die?

will it be a hi or bye?
for million reasons i cant rectify.
when this heart can’t even defy,
every heartache that came by.

will it be a hi or bye?
you once told me im a butterfly,
but will i still be able to fly,
when my love has ran out of supply?

will it be a hi or bye?
tears on my cheeks will soon run dry.
’cause i know i gave everything for you to satisfy,
but you’re not just type of guy.

and I've got deprived of one thing.
that "i hate you"
sounded like
"i love you."
that "i'm leaving you"
sounded like
"i live for you."
that "i don't want to be with you"
sounded like
"i wanna spend this lifetime with you."
that "we're over"
even sounded like
"we'll be together, forever."
i've got deprived of you.

the end is near,
so darling stop your fear.
prepare for the worst,
because everything  has been cursed.

dry your eyes,
stop believing lies.
keep yourself whole,
stop being a fool.

forget the plans, enjoy the ride,
run the course with all your pride.
never stop even for a while,
keep your face with a smile.

all the pain will be gone,
don’t you worry ***.
everything’s gonna be fine,
you’ll reach the end of the line.

there was a war inside of me,
and in the middle of the battle field,
i found you.

i found you in between of
letting you go and
making you stay.

i found you in between of
giving up and
fighting for you still.

i found you in between of
forgetting and remembering.

i found you in between of unloving and loving.

you were the sun.
i was the moon.
you were the center of the universe.
i was designated to someone else.
you've got everything you need,
but i only needed you to breathe.

if maybe you’re not you,
and i am not me,
maybe we’ll still have a place
in this infinite space.

if maybe you’re not you
and i am not me,
maybe you’re still holding my
hand like how you used to be.

if maybe you’re not you,
and i am not me,
maybe you’ll never give up everything
like we were nothing.

and if maybe you’re not you,
and i am not me,
maybe we’re still together
with our happily ever after.

but you’re still you,
and i am still me,
love found our hearts
but then lies torn us apart.