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 Aug 2019 jza aguilar
i touched your soul
and scribbled my name on it
love, you’ll never get lost again
It's 3am

I'm on the phone
No one's awake and I'm alone

It's 3am

The radio's on
Songs are played on lonely station

It's 3am

I'm in my bed
My eyes are open and sleep has fled

It's 3am

I'm on the balcony
The sky is dark and just quite scary

It's 3am

Some windows have lights
Could they also not sleep tonight

It's 3am

I'm still awake
When will life ever give me a break
Insomniac nights are the worst. And it's been going on like this for quite awhile.
 Aug 2019 jza aguilar
Tiana Marie
She was like music,
and I longed to dance.

Her heart was the beat,
and I begged for the chance.

Her words were the vocals,
and I was put in a trance.

Her smile was the melody,
and I fell in love at first glance.
 Aug 2019 jza aguilar
Hold my hand and persuade the way
tell me all you want to say
Whisper softly in my ear,
all those things I want to hear
Kiss my lips and touch my skin
bring out passions deep within
Draw me close and hold me near
eradicate my pain and fear
In the darkness of the night,
shine your beacon, be my light
In the luster of the sun,
demonstrate you are the one
Offer me wings so I can fly
and I will soar when you're nearby
Infilrate my heart, break the wall,
it's time for me to let it fall
I've been a prisoner, extensively
Break my chains and set me free
Strip me of my armor tight
this time I won't put up a fight
Release my soul held deep within
For you’re in my heart where love begins

 Aug 2019 jza aguilar
Love isn't blind,
blind are those,
who never loved.
My father walked me down the aisle,
But my mother held my arm.
He went with me,
But we went not towards the altar,
But towards the door.

My father walked me down the aisle,
And the ***** rang through the church,
Humming through the elaborate crown molding,
Carved by my ancestors.

He went,
Not beside me,
But before me,
And I watched,
As he was illuminated by the bright,
Texas sun.

My father walked me down the aisle,
But I did not wear white.
My father walked me in silence,
And I shed tears not for a man standing at the altar,
But for the one I would never see again.

My father walked me down the aisle,
And no veil obscured my face.
All eyes were upon me, but not for my pristine beauty,
Instead for my clenched jaw and furrowed brow,
Severe and fierce to distract from my glassy eyes.

My father did not leave me at the end of our walk to sit beside my mother.
She clung to me for support and sobbed breathlessly,
And I carried her with one hand,
My sister the other,
And walked towards my future.
A future family,
Not one person more,
But one person less.
I walked,
One final time,
With him.

My father walked me down the aisle,
And I will never forget it.
Hundreds of eyes isolating my family from the crowd,
Slow and muffled sounds drowning in the deafening beat of my heart,
Blurred faces staring,
Black heels clacking against the cobbled path from the church,
The anguished wails of my mother,
The whimpering of my sister,
And the wooden box that glided before us,
A string tied to our patriarch,
The pin key of our family,
Pulled taut and then snipped with the slam of the hearse doors.

My father walked me down the aisle,
Before I had a chance to grow up.
He walked me,
Out of the church,
Away from the altar,
Never to be walked again.
There are dogs barking next door, they've been at it for at least an hour and for some reason, it is making me Incredibly anxious
and all at once I am remembering every wound I ever inflicted or received
as though I were both the blade and the parting flesh, and I feel as though
I have always been this moment, this suspended breath
Slowly circling around a clenched fist until the time of my expiry
I am the snapping of a dogs jaws and the spit that hits the ground
and I am still, too, the ground that shivers in disgust at such violence,
anyway, its probably just the anxiety talking, probably just me stumbling again
over words and truth in my haste to release whatever air I keep trapped in my lungs
whatever wound inside me is currently yawning open and closed, quick as the caught birds' breast
hey, i think the dogs have stopped barking
Fall down in my puddle of love
Child I love my life,
Pray child, can I get my ghoul back from the Tokyo, tonight’s a dream
Dreaming little ‘bout you, you know I would seen it coming
Did you see what Hades did to her with forked lighting?
Ending slowly on the second coming. They conversed with the beginning of military time.
The time left a little unresolved.
Where it falls out, I die.
 Aug 2019 jza aguilar
 Aug 2019 jza aguilar
It reminds me of when my heart burned and melted for
days and years
and no one saw
Now, it’s like calling the fire department to put out charcoal
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