Early morning,
Eyes still closed.
Staggering to my local coffee shop.
Swing open the door, and yell to the girl in front of the counter.
Gimme your strongest coffee!
She gave me a strange look when I gave her five bucks and said to keep the change.
I was walking out the door.
Trying to think how much coffee is now a days.
When it hit me!
I looked back through the glass, into the store.
I saw the girl "in front" not behind the counter,  ordering a capaccino.
This answered all my well thought questions I had pondered earlier this morning.
Along with a shocking revelation.
I just paid five bucks for warm milk!

Im split in two,
Like a pair of old shoes,
One is in the dryer,
The other caught fire,
And I dont know what to do.

Well my mom shouts,
" darlin you cant leave this house..
Til you've got both shoes on your feet!"
But even if I found both shoes,
Id still be incomplete.

I'll keep it to myself.
Let it tear me apart,
From the inside out.
You know, some people never change.
Sometimes, its better off that way.

And as the maggots come to be,
They rest in the best parts of me.
So go ahead,
Shut lock that door,
Those places aren't special no more.

Soon enough there won't be a single piece,
Left of who I use to be,
But maybe its better off this way,
Maybe ill start over someday.

Oh no, im not scared to die,
I just dont think I can look,
Into your pale blue eyes.
It might be a silly fear,
But a promise is a promise my dear.

So ill keep it to myself.
There's no point in letting it out.
Its fading and decaying anyway,
I already can't recall yesterday.

Dont want you to see what I have become,
I wash my guilt away with long walks and ***.
Oh no, it dont help that much.
But nothing does after you've lost touch.

So I'll keep it to myself.

Im drunk
And ******
And speedin
And cleanin
And im seein
All of your feelings,
Out of the corner
Of my eye.

Where's the dope?
Cause I cant cope
With all our inside jokes
Displayed for the world to see,
Your heart is to much for me.

So get to your point
Before I light up this joint
Cause once the buzzins in my brain
I cant deal with the pain,
That you're trying to project on me,
Why cant you let yourself be happy?
Creatin these problems in your head
Then you're carrying them to bed.

Our sheets are drenched in your nightmares,
Your demons attack me in the night,
And with your burdens on my back,
Im too weak to fight.

So im reachin for the bottle just to give my brain a break,
Packin up a bowl,
Cause its more than I can take.
So I pop just one more pill,
Smooth the edges and just chill,
But I cant, not just yet
Cause this house is such a wreck.

So now im drunk
And ******
And speedin
And cleanin
And im seein
You dissapear
Right before
My eyes.

Rain crashes over me in waves
             Downing me in sorrow
       But it's not water, it's tears
Filling up the empty places
                    In my soul
  And a heart I didn't know I had

    Blasphemy! Dry those tears!
That kinda thing ain't needed hear!
                    You're strong,
             You're beautiful,
                      You're smart
   Wipe away those pesky things
      And listen to your heart.

           But I can't breathe,
      I'm shaking violently
   As the flood surrounds me.
           How can I escape?
  How could I just wipe them away?
      I'm weak, I'm dumb, I'm ugly
                  Can't you see?
The tears of sorrow are here to stay.

     You are what I say
           And you know it's true.
What's gotten into you?
   No man or thing is worth a single drop
Let alone, a downpour that could drown you
       All this madness has to stop
                I could help you
      If you do what I tell you to.

There's no help for me,
          My chest is overflowing
    With tears, rotten flowers,
            And dark, ***** shadows.
      The past is within me,
    I can't seem to forget or let it go.
          There's no point to the argument,
     I've already given up hope
You're just the part of me that
          Refuses to believe that's so


             **~ To Be Continued ~

They say the eyes are the
     window to the soul,
        I say looking through
can make you lose control.
     Climb through to depths
            you can't imagine
        and you'll discover
   the sunshine within,
        and a love so **genuine.

although our paths may never cross
I belong to you
and I don't feel the lonely wicked cold
like I used to
because I know you are out there
somewhere, stranger
haze-gazing
just like me
trudging along the best you can
filling some voids
where you see fit
with a heart that overflows
and understands
although our paths may never cross
you've helped me, stranger
and we are the same
throwing stars in the void
finding joy
in the empty space
of our days

He told me he was damaged.
I was too,
So I tried to fix him.
If I could save him, I could save myself,
Or maybe he would save me.
But instead,
He broke me further
Instead of mending the rips in my soul,
He tore it to shreds,
And left his marks on my skin.

why do you continue to ignore me
why do you continue to ignore me

don't you see that my heart is breaking
it's your fault i've been left this way

why do you continue to ignore me
my life is falling apart ever since you left
my life is falling apart and i've got nothing left

you packed up and walked away
no strings attached
nothing connecting us of course
because i tied all my strings into a bow
as pretty as her
as pretty as i wish i was
so sorry john green but i've no strings left to snap in me

why do you continue to ignore me
i've written song and song and poem about you
i was fine being nothing
until you made me something
i'd rather be no one and untouched
than someone left behind collecting dust

i was good enough for you until i wasn't
your brown eyes would look into mine
and you told me i was beautiful
and you told me i was beautiful
and you told me
told me you'd never leave me

why do you continue to ignore me
why do you continue to ignore me
why did you walk away with all my strings
unraveling off of your back