Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
Julian Pacheco Sep 2021
As I sit here reminiscing about my life, Knife in hand, I just ask myself as to how I’ve gotten as far as I have. Twenty years old and so absent of life. I have never had a partner nor friends, or any kind of near and dear human interaction for that matter.

I was raised in foster care from the age of nine.

When I was seven, my mother was tethered to a life support machine.
At the age of nine, my father, fragile and weak committed suicide.

The note went something like this:

“I know you may never understand and I’m not sorry, but you may thank me some day…”

I never understood the message until now, sitting here, slicing into the tender skin within the confines of my hand looking over the horizon.

A gentle drip follows…

I’m glad my father did what he did…

I’ve been taught and invaluable lesson…

That the human soul, albeit intangible, is not infallible.

The same holds true for the will.
Both have yet to be seen much less heard, by a being that breathes the same air as you and I, foolishly we continue to live our lives and ignore these facts so we may keep faith that they exist.

A cool sensation begins to overwhelm me...

Perhaps their intangibility is what has kept them pure and free of human kinds’ seemingly instinctual want to poke, ****, and risk possibly destroying something they do not understand until it is understood…

I mean let’s take a look at love.

Love, likewise to the will and the soul is also intangible.

What would love be if you can do what I have done to this very moment and take a sharpened steel blade and tear beneath the skin to understand what truly lies below it surface.
Short story
  Aug 2018 Julian Pacheco
She Writes
You asked me why I like you
But I didn’t want to tell
Some of my reasons are cheesy...
But here is why I fell

I love the way your lips curve
When I make you smile
It makes me want to pull you close
And kiss you for awhile

I love the way your eyes twinkle
When you talk about things you love
I truely believe
You are a gift from above

I love that you are compassionate
You have such a big heart
That was the first thing I noticed
Right from the start

I love the way it feels
When you hold me tight
I finally feel safe
Like I could sleep through the night

I love that you don’t judge me
For my less than perfect self
That is more attractive
Than any amount of wealth

There are so many more reasons
But I’ll start with just this few
Maybe someday
I’ll give this poem to you

:)
Julian Pacheco Mar 2017
Time....

A human construct

A self imposed constraint

The most wide spread form of control

Cynical...

It does not *speak...


It does not touch...

It does not intend to influence

But it does...

As it quietly passes your mind scrambles

Becoming sick, Twisted, and uncontainably loud

You shriek in silence to a non existent crowd

Found in silence you're desperation consumes you with fear..

You think this is it

My life... No matter what I do... There will never be enough of it..

I'm just not enough...

I may never be enough..

Your mind clouds with doubt,

Darkened by memories of the past

Yet Livid with fears of the unforeseen future...

Yet here you still remain,

Idle..

Pensive...

Allowing life to unravel right before you,

Never asking so much as why ...
Julian Pacheco Sep 2015
Close* but Far,
Believed but not seen,
Felt but not touched;
That is the human soul.

Touched,  only by Love...
Moved, only by Music..
Free thinking.
You are not my children,
tender as you are.
You are not my lover,
though you cause my heart to yearn.
You are not my sun,
or my moon,
or my star.

I set you on this rock;
you will not make me burn.

You are simply sticks,
arranged upon the pyre.
You are clever tricks,
though you flaunt my clear desire.
You are not the match,
or the wick,
or the fire.

I set you on this rock;
To see what might transpire.

You will never be a pheasant's egg to be coddled.
You are only this: a calf led to the slaughter.
A poem addressed to my poems, in the midst of the dreaded poetry workshop, where my lovelies are torn to shreds.  An attempt to maintain distance, for the sake of learning.  It's hard.
  Mar 2015 Julian Pacheco
Brandy Nicole
I had a dream last night
that we were perfect, happily loving each other

Then i awoke from the dream
to find you aren't mine and I'm
just a fool with a beautiful dream
of you holding me tight.
Older write
11/21/14
Next page