I no longer wish to love you so good bye

I said I'd love you forever, and I didn't lie

the fairytales i conjure up
never seem to fade.
its like they're haunting me;
and its daunting to believe
that they'll never come true...
with you.
i dream of olden days,
the pictures we'd take
the things tht we'd say.
jokes and love and happiness
love and infatuation and your sweet kiss-ing
keeps me reminiscing. 
but for what purpose?
im losing tht need to love you
if i cant touch you, hug you...
let love not flow like ab...cd
can we glimpse into the past?
just for this moment,
let me hold it.
i miss the days;
without a question
and my fairytales linger,
like the sour smell of spoiled GOODS.
yet, i cant let them go.
but i have to keep steadfast:
like, ab..cd

I was wrong.
I was so wrong.
So selfish
And young.
I am so sorry.
5 years later.
It's meaningless
I know.
But you should know.
It still hurts.
To see how I hurt you.
A sharp pain.
Where my heart is.
Where my heart,
Should have been.
You deserved better.
I hope you have better.
But I'm still selfish
Because I want you back.
I want it all over again.
I want to love you again.
The right way.
Just one night.
Can I hold you
Can I kiss you
Can I love you?
Just one more time
And make it last forever
I would never let go
Dreams don't come true
But I'll keep dreaming
So I can have you
I'll always be sorry
I'll always love you
And I'll always want yu back.
You're perfect.
And I will admit...
I was wrong
I was so wrong

That savory flavor that lingers between my soaking wet fingers

You don't know me & its not your fault.
'Cause I console me and that **** aint hot.
I really love you but the **** I did negated that.
I never have regrets but I know I would take it back.
I didn't mean it; it was words; it didn't mean a thing.
I can't express of all the feelings and the joy you bring.
Stupid decisions lost my luxury and I'm aware.
Things you witnessed formed a vision that I just don't care.

Lemme let you know why I got twinkles in my eyes.
Its not because of my own feelings; I put those aside.
I swore I'd never hurt you. and I said my word is bond.
I know I did & now I'm numb; & don't think I'll move on.
I'd do anything to make you understand what's true.
I just want it to be love between just me & you.
I know the things I did would contradict my every word.
But if you read it over, everything just sounds absurd.

You the only one I love and care about right now.
Trying to explain the stupid **** but don't know how.
I really dreaded that this day right here was soon to come.
It was all a front; but I know where you're coming from.
You said that I'm a sneaky liar & that **** aint true.
I didn't lie when I said I'd do anything for you.
It hurts to know that I just lost something that was so good.
I'd go back in time and change what I did if I could.

I hate to think about you; just being real.
It hurts so ******* bad how all this **** has made me feel.

A borrowed attire
A ***** curly fro
A slant set of shoulders
A "lawn" that is mowed
Soft caramel skin
Four new tattoos
Old holes from piercings
No longer in use.
A taller frame
And a nice juicy ****
******* to match
But a small little gut
A refurbished heart
A genuine smile
A great listener
Keeps old things on file
A charming stare
But not much to say
She'll sneak in your heart
In a phenomenal way
Ready for anything
When put to the test
Yes, she has her flaws
But she's close to the best.

Summer brings such beauty and bliss
while the misty dew summer mornings and rain help sustain
Yet when dawn breaks near week eight
and beauty is nipped with the whip of autumn's foreplay,
The beauty holds strong to hang on to what's left
and the greenery screams til it's out of breath
and nature's carpet takes a blow to the chest
And the flowers that once stood tall.. fall.

The way your porcelain skin touches light
Your waterfall curls provocatively grace the wind
Those brown eyes take away my virginity
That scent you carry with such promiscuity
You want my intellect
You want my drive
You want me to want you
Don't you...?
I am yours.
The way your jeans caress your curves
Your voice sings to my every being
And the sky delights at the sight of your smile
The celestial sway of each step you take
Each gaze my way, an attribution to my euphoria
My mind wipes clean and thinks solely of you
How I yearn to be get so deep into your imagination
I'll find you beautiful girl
And I'll take your darling breath away.

you make me wanna...
punch your ******* face in
pop six packs out the case and
drink til im chasing
myself around this house...
you dumb *****
who the **** do you think this is.
**** me all day, then you got a night cap *****?
**** i look like?
some ***** you just kickin it wit
couldn't even put my **** in it
before you switched
just know, you aint slick.
hoes won't learn
til they ******* burn
I hate to be so blunt,
babygirl... it's your turn
so don't come to me on no i love you ****
save it all for the hick licking on your ****.
i don't have time for the games,
shorty you lame,
you wanna bump me down...
***** watch me do the same.
motha fuckah.

My feelings don't matter
They're just wasteful words
I blurt out for my own well-being
Because they will never be heard
Listened to but not heard
Why, because they're unimportant
My feelings are hurtful
Because they're not what you want to hear
And they don't fit into your time schedule
I want to apologize on behalf of my feelings
We will take a back row seat
We understand that we were wrong
For being expressed and well...
It won't happen again.

I love you but...
There's something about us
i just don't like.
**** the politics
I'll eat where I wanna lick
But this is past that...
You were the last cat
That on my lap, sat
And I just don't miss you.
Won't kiss you, forever diss you
Then I drop the bomb
On my own ****, blown ****
And **** it up easy
Cuz this **** appeased me.
I love you but...
I don't want you
And that's all because
I just don't want to

Today I wore
Ketchup and Mustard
Because I wanted to
Not everyone can do this
And get away with it
But I did it
Because I wanted to
Tomorrow is a new day
Maybe mayo or tartar
Just anything but barbecue
But it's not about my sauces
Or my meat for that matter
It's about my feelings
Bite me because im what you love

Love is overrated
Hate is anticipated
Sorrow seals the deal
Love last never
Hate churns forever
Sorrow becomes kin
Love is overrated
Hate can be negated but,
Sorrow will always win

Love me like the world will light on fire tonight

My flicking lick
Not the trick to get your **** sticky?
Rather a thick ****, light brown if you're picky?
When I'm sick the words drip
And I sip, sip
Ahhhh
Then **** it back and spit it
And behold an angry love poem untold
Never bold enough to hold it to you
Just not something I'd do
But these words are true...
Thoughts in my envisions
Nightmares ask permission
To intrude on my hopeless solitude
And they do.
You're my dry Valentine
I could wonder why, or cry.
But I'll just call that old thing back, goodbye.

Sweet peach
The fuzz
The juice creeps
The buzz
The hard bite
The shape
The soft slurp
The juice
The drip drop
The wipe
The mess made
My shirt
The new stain
My love
For sweet peach

Thought about my ex today.
Reminisced about the *** and such.
I know I said that I'd still love that girl,
But Lord knows I've never lied so much.
My ex girl is a good dream about a bad time that I mistakenly got away from.
My ex girl is a good dream about a good **** that could one day ***.
My ex girl is a bad *****, with the thick hips and the *** to match, lips that softly slip so sweet with every kiss; I loved that.
My ex girl has that pretty face that makes necks break and men chase and she knows it.
My ex girl is a flirt and knows I want her bad and she shows it.
She looks at me so deep and sneaks through to my conscience and can switch it off so quick.
My ex girl got the magic; she could make you quiver in just one lick.
My ex girl could get it.
But I can't **** wit it.

My ex girl ain't wife type.
And I'm at that point in life where I'm tryna live that wife life.
So she could be bad all she want and it's sad she don't want that wife hype.
She could be so good but she's bad at being honest; more concerned with "likes" than love.
More concerned with quick *** and rec drugs.
**** gonna catch up to her one day and she'll learn that she should've used that beauty on the runway.
But I'm done bae, no matter how amusingly your beauty continues enthusing me.
But you slept while you couldn't be working to be the One bae.
Done.

Im about to fail
But everyone makes mistakes right?
No! Not right!
Not when your life depends on it.
Im prepared to fail
Because im pretty good
At cleaning up a big mess

If I could watch you, indiscreetly
I'd find the truth in our facade
The loop hole in your portrayal of perfection
That you  so effortlessly masque
I remain on edge, my heart on guard
Because I know you only allow me to see one piece
Of the anomaly of thee
And for me it would only seal the deal if
I could be a wallflower, to find if you were real

Don't shoot!
Can't you see my white palms
Not the black end of my black hands
Guilty until proven innocent
That's the predicament I was raised in
When I walk onto the subway, privilege holds for dear life the bag her daddy gave her, and yes by privilege I mean white.
Because based on my skin I'm automatically framed as a thief that lives too cheap to afford the Kors bag that she has.
Don't shoot!
I just found out my dog passed and decided I'd run fast and hold her tight before her last gasp.
But since I'm black and I'm running, the pigs start coming after me as if I created a catastrophe since the mask of me is black.
They corrupt the laws, use excessive force and pin me down to the ground when I was just trying to get to my hound.
Don't shoot!
Yes my windows are tinted and my skin is a shade the same but when you pull me over I'm not to blame for the drug ring that has your people suffering.
I sweat in fear for my life as I see red and blue lights wondering if I will live to see tomorrow's sunlight.
Because based on my tints and my rims and my skin I must be some criminal uncaught.
So as privilege approaches my door I must place my white palms on the wheel and plead to retrieve my license from the passengers seat.
Don't shoot!
Because if I was white I wouldn't need to fight for my right to life.
And I wouldn't have to fear the man that society told me would pull my hand if I raised it in a plea for help and welp,
That just isn't the case so based on my race I must remain on thin ice for the rest of my black life, yelling
Don't shoot!

The shy eye contact
And rapid heart beat
Before every new first kiss.
The same clammy hands
Same choked up notions
Wannabe fluid motions
Tryna keep your cool.
Knowing the essence
Of her presence
And willing to seize it.
Playing with her curls
Gently hold her neck
And lean her closer...
To your soul.
Open every piece of you
And share it.
With a new first kiss.
Dazed eyes and timid smiles
It's all worth while
For that new first kiss

This is what happens when little girls cry
They make little girl noise and bat their little girl eyes
And think their little girl plight is something of significance
When in reality it's a demonstration of ignorance
Constant reminder of her lack of life experience
Not trying to embarrass her so I won't ask what the difference is
She's crying to apologize while unaware of who the victim is
But I will let her know 'cause I really want her to get with this
Now don't get me wrong, my attitude's not belligerent
My sole goal alone is to grant her her deliverance
So she can understand that this revolves around malevolence
The result of my greed, my power and my selfishness
My constant arrogance
Self-proclaimed excellence
Lack of establishment
Fraudulent elegance
Unstructured sentiments
All rolled up in one and bowled down her lane
STRIKE
But I've changed
I was just a pretty face and okay base layer
But underneath I was as filthy as Ethiopian feet
Think of this as a feat, that you were the winner of
I could've given you everything but I'd have never given love
If number one was you, I'd have another number two
And you were number two until I made you number three
That's why I'm puzzled that you're apologizing to me
When you should say sorry to you, and '*******' to who I used to be
But I respect where her heart is now
She'll mature and evolve, life will show her how
With God's grace and patience your future will be amazing
And continue to race after all those dreams that you're chasing
Find a love so real that it's bracing
Make sure it's your heart song that they sing
Know that you're always in my good graces
Present yourself as if you are who the ace is
Take my apology and dig my grave with it
I'd hate to hold you back from what your true fate is
God Bless

Women like you make me realize
I should open my eyes
What's right in front of me
Is all I'll ever need
My one girl
In our one world
Females like you are the reason
I should cherish mine
Fine dining and wine
Everything top of the line
Feed her grapes off the vine
Make the *** chill her spine.
It just won't get any better
I got a trend setter
And my bed couldn't get wetter
Girls like you are the reason
Im gonna change my life
Make her my wife
And end all the trife
Things that I do
I have queen
Who knows she means
This whole world to me
For *eternity

I miss you
And you're not mine
But what's worse
Is I'm someone else's

Mad
Angry and disturbed
Perturbed by your absurd words
Their rhythm ring sing songs on & on
Wrongly depicting me as the beast who depletes we
Condemned and prosecuted for convoluted convictions
Incarcerated despite fair trial meanwhile
Defendant roams free, though guilty
So I suffer when her rough mood cannot bebuffered
And somehow the blame is on me, what a shame it would be
If I had a fair trial, and you were beguiled by my vengeance
But Corinthians bestowed on me that love hold no grudge
So I won't budge,
This time.

He hit her.
Fist to face, he hit her.
She bit the taste of blood from her tongue and inner cheek
And stared at the freak who beat her
A man she once loved enough to consider vows
The father of her child, once her protector  now she can't be protected from him.
He hit her.
When she wasn't looking he balled a fist in his fit and swung the **** directly at her lower lip.
What is she to do when the very man who took her hand and placed a ring on her left finger, is the cause of the sting lingering on her face.
Should she tell, yell, or scream
Wake up from this dream or realize that
He hit her.
He really did but the problem is he doesn't care.
His bare balled hand to her unexpecting mouth as she sat there on the couch.
His eyes blazed with fury, her eyes glazed with tears and fear of this man who stands before her.
Sorrow surrounds her as her heart pounds and tears drown her.
Mourning is she, for the man who she thought would be her everything for eternity but...
He hit her.

Life can be lived happily
To take a chance
To roll the dice
To figure out what's right
But who wants to gamble
When all the great things
End for the worse
Joy with pain
Love with rain
Infatuation with "I'm over you"
Seeing sides of things you never knew
Never wanted to
Life can be lived happily
To take a chance
To roll the dice
To never know if things will turn out right
Is it worth the risk?
Could we resist?

With every breath of crisp autumn breeze
Harbor another secret to keep you warm through winter's storm
Hibernate from truth and reality
When awakened, release all your secrets held deep
And free yourself from the burden of shame and deceit
And watch the show as people go from their seats
And leave your pagaent because they can't take the heat.
When you only wish you could breathe autumn's breeze
And hoard all your secrets like mice saving cheese
And not have to awaken to people to please
But telling your secrets' what life is indeed

I woke up and stared hope directly in the eye

I am not a poet
For poets seize to leave blank pages
Telling stories til their ripe old ages
Filling souls with inspiration
Spilling joys of all relations
But I don't have ****...
Blank pages waiting to by graced by my pen
But my mind feels as empty as the sheets I'm drowning in
How I yearn to be a poet
To let loose my tensions,
My fears
The love so deep inside me
I need a release,
But I just can't word it
Can't phrase it
Because I am not a poet

I live for me; yes selfishly
For seeking to find my lost integrity
I live for love, for you and me
For your adoration; your reciprocity

I live to hear the cries of joy my heart's eyes roar as they spy on you
The rifts and melody drifts that we sing harmoniously
The sound of the breeze trying to squeeze between us

And somehow,
In the living of these moments,
I will become what I have chosen to behold

I never realized
How much I really loved you
Until you were gone

I tend to sacrifice my smile so that you can.

If I could take it all back I would,
But regret is never the answer
Nor can I be the hypocrite
Telling you to quit
Nor can I be the one you want
Or need, for that matter
I plan to leave you be...
Eventually
Because you'll do better without me
We're not strong enough to stand this
And I hate that you compare
For I feel that im worth more
But maybe I'll just go
So you can be happy too
Gotta learn life without you
Im sure you'll be fine.
The star is losing her shine.
To glow in another night sky besides mine

You make me sick
Depend on her for your ****
Cuz I'm doneee with it.

That incredible bond we shared fell through
But here I am, still in love with you

I unlove you
I don't care if it's a neologism
It's my heart you imprisoned
And I unlove you for that

You were everything I wanted
Because I love everything you're not
I love it a lot, like a lot a lot
And I love what you don't look like
I've fallen head over heels for
Whose personality you don't resemble
I long for the way your kisses differ
How the *** isn't as curricular
But of course that's not enough

I want to want you
And "you" is an easy word to rhyme with
So that's what I won't do
See how easily I'm distracted away
From what you've got, what I can't say?
Because all I know is what you don't relay
How we share a not-so-bad day
I've got a question... if I may

I should love you for what you've got, right?
For all you are and not for who you're not, right?
If this holds true, we'll descend from the spotlight
'Cause I don't care about who you are, just who you're not quite
I unlove you with my whole heart
And I refuse to dig any further
I like to love everthing you're not about
And I pray that's okay with you

It's impossible
The way you woo me
With just your glance
It's so strange
The way you **** me
With just your stance
I bite my lip
In an attempt to
Stray off this temptation
But I can't take it.
The way your flesh feels
On my bare hands
Your eyes telling me
Passionate love stories
Of our soon to be first time
And my eyes trained...
Yes trained to remain blank
The way you touch me...
The way you stare...
The way you want me...
My attention, affection
My love, my drive
My ***.
I feel the same
But I am trained to refrain.
Temptations the game
And I, it's pawn.

Accidental way
Of showing you exactly
What you did to me

Leave me
I give you permission
To exit my life, stage right
Don't look back please
Just kiss my left cheek
Tell me you care
You'll always be there
And walk away for good
But don't be there anyway
Dont' call me on my birthday
Don't find small things to say
Just don't think about me
You can ask my friends how I am
But don't check to see for yourself
It's a trap we don't want to fall into... again
Shed a few tears for me
For the thoughts of what we could be
Those memories we'll never get the chance to see
The end of our "everlasting" destiny
Just go, my love
Walk out my heart and slam the door behind you
Hurt me with your goodbye
It's okay, I won't hate you
Just let us go
But not just 'cause I told you so

Kiss me as the moon rises
Tell me forever is real
Teach me how to love you
And how to make you feel
Take me into the ocean
And bathe me in your love
Wrap me with your warm embrace
Fit us, like a glove
Tell stories of our future
Brag about our past
Tell the world I love you, girl
And maybe we will last
If everyone knows us
To love steadfast and strong
We give hope to all who know
And we're pushed to carry on
Letting go is easy
Living free is hard
So let's just let love sail us on
And throw in all our cards
No more playing games
This time let us be free
And ride the waves the ocean gave
Solely just you and me

One night without holding you
Is an eternity of kisses missed
When I don't see you before I rest
My good dreams are dismissed
And I slip into a shallow rut
Swishing in the waves
I try my best to stay away
from anyone awake
Cause I'm afraid to be alone
Without you I am weak
My crippled heart just falls apart
Without you at my feet
I need your love each day and night
So I can be content
You put my heart in your shopping cart
And didn't ask consent
So now each night I'm without you
I miss you with such pain
But when I see you tomorrow
My heart will sing in the rain

She is trying to make a philanderer out of me

I must like the feeling of having a broken heart

She...
Seems to have captured me
Locked me here with her essence
To yearn for her presence
Though im not her preference.
Is this a joke
That you poke?
Do you laugh
While I sulk...
In your honor?
I can't bother!
I hate to sound so trill
But "do you think about me, still"
Are there feelings you'd spill?
If you had the will...
To change what we had
Cuz it wasn't all bad
Would you take the chance?
I need a handbook, a demonstration
Rules for our relations
Because you're losing participation
And I feel like im waiting, impatient.
And...
I know another girl holds you, ***** you.
Takes you into ecstasy
Pleasures your every being.
But...
Is this just a test for me?
To see how long, I can hold on.
It's slipping cuz , im not too strong.
Or do I have it all wrong
And you just want me to move on?
I'm wasting my time,
But I'm stuck on you
With no clue
What I should do
And just so you know,
I'll probably never stop loving you...

Here
Still here
Right where you left me
Remember that day
That day we played
The day we loved and sang and
Danced so gay
You picked me up and we swayed
This wayyy
That wayyyyy
This wayyy
But then...
She called and you took off
And threw me astray
I'm old and defeated now
My purpose is naught
I was left too long and spoiled to rot
I cannot serve you
Though I've always deserved to,
But who needs me anyway