I know I haven't been myself lately
I've been feeling like someone else other than me and just maybe
It's this empty glass of gin, it helps numb my pain inside
Because truthfully, I haven't felt any love from you lately
I'm still in love with you and I've been needing a sign
We both needed our space
You needed someone else's love and time
I never understood how you became so heartless
Until I realized that maybe you just needed mine
Loving you was so hard and it never helped
Because I just couldn't decide between loving you or myself
I know what it's like to lose somebody you love
To feel emptiness as you lose yourself to the drugs
I know what it's like to let go of someone
Because they've hurt you to a point
You're not the person you were once was
I've been dying to live and the devil's been shooting to ****
I just can't help but think if one day, you're thinking of me still

You never ask how I'm doing
Are you truly happy now?
You hardly ever answer the phone
I keep hearing "Leave a message after the tone"
Maybe it's time to take the hint and just leave you alone
I've been stuck here on my own
I've been feeling as if my whole body turned into stone
Losing my grip and my trust
I keep fronting that it doesn’t hurt but it does
And I keep remembering everything you said
Honestly, that's what's making this tough
"It's not like I give you enough attention anyways"
This is steadily falling apart
You used to be there when I was down to pick me up
However, right now, that’s over
It seems you do whatever you like
Knowing that if we talk again it'll turn into a fight
This is never going to work
The stupid side of me is thinking that it might
This is probably why I'm drinking
Just to call you up on your phone every night
Why am I wasting my life trying to find a way into yours?
I just want go back
To save whatever that we had was
Honestly I thought that you were the one who would last

Hard to be honest with myself, but I still miss you
You're always getting inside my thoughts
I keep remembering the day you left, it still ****** me off
I tried so hard to keep us close
But I ended up with everything being lost
And I hate the fact that our paths always cross
Vegas is a small town, what else should I've expected?
Watching you with him looks like a god-made perfection
While I'm sitting here all alone
I just can't get rid of this jealous impression
I tell myself I'm moving on but hardly, all of this is depressing
Maybe I'm getting a little bit crazy
My friends have been begging me to come out of the house
It's funny when I'm drinking
Your name's the first one to come out of my mouth
And it's hard to fall for someone new
When you're the only one I'm still thinking about
I wish I could have you back
But I doubt that you're going to be leaving him now
You're falling in love, while I'm losing myself
I wonder, are our pictures still sitting up on your shelf?
I'm still thinking about us and it's been hell
There has to be something I can do to get of out of this mess

At times I don't even know where I'm supposed to be going
I'm stuck inside a room, looking from a window to where I've been
All these friends who promise to be there to support you
Suddenly, they'll always go vanishing with the wind
When you have nothing to lose, and still expect to lose
Who do you look to, then?
When everybody treats you like you're nothing
Who can you really call a friend?
Late night stressing, overthinking and I'm guessing
Can happiness ever last?
Because there are days when it's really here
But always remains inside the past
You know, I've given it everything I got
But I always seem to fall and crash
If life really gives you free lessons
Then I'm failing this class
Can I ask for a chance to start again?
I've been gradually losing this sight again
Been running close on empty
I don't think I can ever start this drive again
It's hard to achieve something, where no one sees you succeed
I sever ties with the closest ones who never believed in me
I've been broken down to pieces over a silly dream, it seems
I love the fact, how my heart was ripped out for believing in me
From the start, it was just myself and all the places I've been

What was meant to be,
Was never meant to be
Like everything that we let happen
I just want an escape, for everything to be irrelevant
I've been trapped inside our memories
The nights we stayed up laughing
I'm acting like I'm fine, as if none of this ever happened
Like my body is shielded with armor but inside I'm collapsing
I know that you've moved on, and that's fine
So have I
But sometimes I reminisce the feelings we made alive
And all those moments when you'd call me up at 3 in the morning
Can't tell you why I'm still not giving in
Am I provoking emotions?
Was I wrong to try,
To save the thing I thought that we had?
Or was I crazy to believe that we could piece it all back
Like broken mirrors, but I don't think that we could see through the cracks
We could do this all again, I know we start over from scratch
So tell me, was it worth it?
With all the lies and the games
All the fights and the name calling
I'm sorry to say, that these words aren't meant for you
But for me to ease the pain
Because sometimes you do feel better
When you walk in the rain
I know I said it was for the best,
And while I'm filled with regret
I've been losing pieces of myself
And I don't know how much is left
I don't want to ever clean up my room
Because I'd be the only mess that's left
I'm still cleaning up my thoughts
Yet you're the only thought that never left