never felt so alone
stuck in my room
such a dark place
never felt so cold
chills run down my spine

thought i had someone
to love
i was in love
to someone
forever felt that one
in my heart
it beat for you

tired of feeling this way
how can I ever stray
away from the fact
this is my life

all my life
i've begged for peace
I can't imagine what you'd do with me

all these years
my hearts have been aching
can't you believe it?

waiting
to inform me
on a subject
so delicately


the hatred
self-loathing
untitled
controlling

imagine
all the bad

autopilot
im there but im not there

so you hurt me
and you want to bring the knife back
like you never knifed me in the back
oh ****,
I'm broken
i've spoken so
i don't feel this way anymore

really don't want to type
words onto this screen
when I could be making them real
if only you agree with me
then we could have
a playful cross over with words

crazy how I feel indestructible
or untouchable
my soul attracts
what it craves
no less than another soul

one that matches equal energy
what is given, shall be received
if another experience is what the signs sent to me

i've been alone for a long time
you should know
i've never felt someone's presence like your own
if i should fall..
would you catch me?
at all
i need to know if this is real
just a dream or something unfulfilled.

so i've been thinking
chills run down my body
how could I even know?

im broken
im bruised
im cut up
im used

sky, the moon, the stars,
it all takes
to break my heart

into pieces, it goes
each weak and I know
if I didn't before

imagine
a life of happiness
didn't always come from this

explicit
like bic
high on flames
lit like ****
hard as ****
hard *** fit
looking like a hit
shoot at me and you miss
sad for you ,what a diss
i said hello little miss
tryna get at your sis
haven't met my goal yet
not even  in debt
bet.

okay
you're tryna hit me up
tryna catch your luck
get in, on just a few bucks
oh ****, I can't complain
when you're making it rain
on top of me

little do you know
I'm focused
getting loaded
lowkey a poet
so I've spoken
as much as I'm vocal
told you to see
what's in front of me
a whole life of instability

soulmate,


i've never met a connection so pure
a raw individual
much like myself
providing love to masses of life

know the difference between wanting and needing
you want him to want you back
you beg for him
and search for ways to impress
but he does not budge

you want attention

need for love and a sense of security
in need of comfort from love itself
a place of stability
trust

you need to not be afraid

accept the knowledge between both

I cry myself to sleep at night
if you only knew what it takes to be alive
if living is a crime
I'd be in jail for the rest of my life

how can you live in a world like this?
making you beg for everything

do you believe in true love?
do you believe in happy endings?

I know it's hard
it's hard to face the world alone

these tears have dried
if only for tonight
when I close my eyes
I think of a dream
          
                         it's you and me,
                          having the picnic of our lives
                          nobody to bother us,
                         stuck in disguise
                        frozen for just a moment in time
                         all I need is to have you here with me

what is the need to live?
the need to exist?

already stuck in this mind felt prison
handcuffs on my brain
I've already gone insane
it's too late to reach my heart
I tore that **** apart
it's all over the floor

who are you to judge me?
you know absolutely nothing

nothing about me


don't even try.

what do you know about living my life
what do you know about drowning inside
I know im dying
you don't have to tell me
im already facing reality
losing my dignity
so what do think you know

im pushing but im barely hanging on
down to my last breath
on a tightrope of my life
and you seem to want to define , mine.
like you know

but you don't know anything
do you?

what it takes
to be enough

picking hate or choosing love

bring me out of this dark hole
bring me out of this pain
bring me out of my memories
just do whatever it takes

lately
anxiety and depression just eat me alive
struggling to breathe
while they bury me

and i know you don't notice
not even the slightest thing

and that's okay
it's not your fault
i've been dealt this way

and you could never tell if you look me in the face
and i swear i'm doing
whatever it takes.

searching for a reason
a meaning of life
to keep on pushing
seems living is a fight
without resistance
and yet the past doesn't quite seem let me forget it
incapable of letting things go
i just miss it

if only you knew
all of the scenarios in my head
replaying daily
the spider weaving its web...

continuously
eating at me mentally
vigourously
considerably the amount of judgment
received in this society, hideously

when will the search end?

words cut deep
when they mean something
life is fun and games
till you go and get played
lately I've been getting faded
minding  my business
hop in my lane and I switch to the next
look at this player tryna finesse
but it aint me
it aint thee
**** around and get your named tattooed
on my shoulder blade
now im insane
---------------------------------------------
words cut right thru my vein
tell me lies
and don't tell me why
ima keep on trying
call me stupid
im calling cupid
for making me fall for someone
when im not lucid
---------------------------------------------------
okay
no­w I've regained
my mentality
& I know now what I need
isn't you
so im thru

----------------------------------------------------

words­ cut deep
you don't have to tell me
what I realized is that I have a disease
slowly anticipating the right way to let go

tell me ,
am i worth it?
did i do everything to deserve this
the sun it shines so bright on your skin
while the waves speak to me
saying “this is it”
i’ve found bliss
as i dig my toes into the sand
appreciating all i have
i would never change a thing
that helped me get right to this day


it was worth it

yellow
like the sun
yellow
like the blooming sunflowers in the garden
yellow
like a zest of lemon with a fresh cup of iced tea

you are yellow
a radiance of warmth energy
you are yellow
growing from the bottom up
you are yellow
leaving people with a fine taste in their mouth as they speak your name

well i can’t say much
except that i miss your touch
or the feeling of being in love
over thinking of what once was

a dream
of a bizarre reality
where only i can see
what i begged meant to be

and yet life , passed me by
as i let out a silent cry
reminiscing over yesterday
oh , how the time just flies