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jas Feb 2018
as im typing this out im overwhelmed with emotions,
spilling them into text is how I release them.
I wonder if one day my words make it out there will you read them?
about all my scars and imperfections, my life and the journey I've gone thru to get here. to get there, wherever you are.

I hope your reading this.

scars on my heart, the pages of the book where you took a piece of me out.
blissful peace, my past romances, heartfelt goodbyes,  and a earning of a life.

I hope your reading this.

twenty three years on this earth and counting.
you'd never recognize me in the streets if you knew it was coming.
maybe I sit back and I think you don't get to know me
twenty three years I have been brave.
I have been striving and blossoming into the person you never knew I could become
and I couldn't have done it without my mom.

sorry , but I hope your reading this.
so you can know I don't need you in my life
no need to search anymore that option went out when you went out the door
on the day I was born
I was no longer yours

I hope you never learned how to read
jas Feb 2018
roses are not red and violets are not blue
just unlucky to how I met you
a day of love and despair
a day of annoyance and how love isn't fair
hurtful words written in my mind
because I couldn't bring myself to buy a card I liked
overpriced chocolate and overpriced dates
expecting so much for just one day
disappointment at the end, that isn't me
for those single people who hate on love or just looking for a laugh
jas Feb 2018
golden hair and blue eyes
the indefinite sun, how it shines
radiances amongst your warm tan skin  
glowing from within

soft ridges of the waves
sway back and forth
towards your board

the high you get from urging to touch
those soft pink skies
and the rush of the water building intensely
as you approach

alas
with a  cool breeze
this moment is felt at ease
taking it all in as you take a breath
a few seconds of blissful peace

the moment your feet touch the grainy sand
reality hits back
dripping wet yet scrounging for thirst

you sit there a moment with your board
and gradually embrace today
as you look back at the sun meeting the water
you bid farewell
just until tomorrow
for that one surfer dude
jas Feb 2018
my eyes burn from the urging sensation of a tear being held back
screaming to come out
and lumps in my throat I cannot seem to utter out a word
or even a breath, at that.
I've almost forgotten how to feel on account of the walls around my heart that are built up so tall.
strength holds them together but there is a slight crack in the corner,
you just might miss it.
but if you look real closely with not only your eyes but your own mind, you just might see it.
and once inside that crack the walls crumble to the bottom, so effortlessly
im vulnerable.
I do not like this feeling
its torture, really.
as I struggle to fight it , I realize that I have lost my strength
im broken
these tears in the back of my eyes have made its way onto my face
streaming warmly down to fall on my shirt
its not that I have given up on love , its that I've given in
I've allowed myself to get hurt once more
another tragedy in a page of my book
so these tears may run out soon enough
but in this moment
I will shed these tears
of hurt

I can only blame myself
jas Feb 2018
let me tell you a joke..

about my words,
about self worth
loving yourself , enjoying the perks
of being happy
its been brought up a lot in hopes of
speaking things into existence
so a million and plus times a day
'realize your self worth' is what I say
and I say it so bravely, confidently,
inspiring not only me but others as well.

and there comes a time I can no longer bear the words that I have uttered..
actions are to follow words yet I make no sudden movements
frozen in time itself, or realizing that although I speak of such things I cannot bring myself to comply.
no matter how much I try.

actions > words
words < actions

hypocritically funny.
try self worth unknowing
jas Feb 2018
yellow
like the sun
yellow
like the blooming sunflowers in the garden
yellow
like a zest of lemon with a fresh cup of iced tea

you are yellow
a radiance of warmth energy
you are yellow
growing from the bottom up
you are yellow
leaving people with a fine taste in their mouth as they speak your name
jas Feb 2018
poetry
does not define me
I define poetry
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