I survived my freshman year
I'm now a sophomore
But I want the school year to be here
I miss school
I have 82 days left of hell

~6/14/18

If you want to find me,
You know I am easily found.
Watching sunsets,
Sitting at the hideaway,
With the ocean breeze.
Under turquoise skies,
Exploring Lanikai,
Kaena on North Side.
Out here by the sea,
And in forests,
Running along wild things,
Along mountain edges,
Roaming free.

Our first kiss
Gave me an everlasting bliss.
The night your lips met mine
Made everything feel so right.
It was if the whole world stopped
And all my worries just dropped.
The way your lips felt on mine
So gentle and so kind.
I can't forget how your lips taste
And the way your hands cupped my face.
Or how you ran your fingers through my hair
And how much you told me you care.
The feeling I get when I feel your kiss
Is a feeling I never want to miss.

I thought that I loved you. I believed that you loved me. I was wrong. You violated me. You took the little innocence I had left. I can't thank you enough for making me this crazy, ****** up person I am today.

May 23, 2018

I had tennis practice that day. I walked out of school down the sidewalk to bus 9. Your bus. I sat down in my normal seat and leaned against the window. Then I saw you. I forgot that it was your bus until you walked on. You said hi to the bus driver and then you sat down next to me. You started some small talk and then you held my hand. I didn't move it because I was stunned. You laid your soft hair on my chest. I just let you and I wish I didn't. You put your hand on my chin and lifted up my face and kissed me. Then you slowly put your hand down my shirt. I didn't know what to do cause this never happen to me before. Then the bus stopped. People were getting off, so you stopped. You didn't want people to know the "fun" you were having. And then you continued. You laid your head between my breast, I was fighting my anxiety. He left his mark, the bus stopped at the middle school. You said done. I ran off of the bus feeling saddened. All I wanted was to forget. I...I....I....

I tried to forget about it. Little did I know, this would happen again tomorrow.



May 24, 2018

I just got back from regionals. I was sitting on the wrestling mats outside the band room waiting for my boyfriend. He wasn't there so I started to wander the school. Then I ran into you. We started talking cause I thought we could put yesterday behind us. But I was wrong. We went back to the wrestling mats and I used his leg as a pillow cause I thought I could trust him. And again I was wrong. Then you leaned down and kissed me. You went to get some water and I sat up, then next thing I knew was that you walked up behind me and wrapped your arms around me.

We walked around for a while and we went back to the mats. Not thinking, I laid down. You were standing. You put your whole upper body on me and kissed me.



I could explain so much more, but it's to painful to talk about.

Thank you for making this so far the worst year of my life.

Johnathon. Welcome to your tape.

To all it may concern: straight people

Dear straight parents,
Thank you,
For making us gays,
And then making us feel like **** for being created,
But hey, you created us.

Dear straight people,
Shut your **** mouth.
We don't care.
Your words aren't going to change us,
No protest signs are gonna change us,
Only God can,
And that isn't an excuse to try and pray the gay away.

Dear straight men,
If a girl likes another girl,
They are not your ****** play toy.
Remove those perverted thoughts from your head,
And learn to control your *****.

Dear straight men,
If a boy likes another boy,
And they don't like you,
Then keep your mouth shut.
If you don't like it,
Then don't be gay.
It doesn't concern you,
And it's none of your ******* business.

Dear straight women,
Just because a girl likes another girl,
Does not make her a ****,
Or a *****,
Or a *****,
But who knows she may be.
But since you're making assumptions like that,
You're probably one of the before mentioned.

Dear straight women,
Ahem "straight",
Go away.
Quit flirting with us,
Because it's annoying and confusing.
Figure out what you want
And try again later.

Dear straight ally's,
Thank you.
You need to procreate,
And make more of you,
Because the world seems to be full of
*******
And biggots.

Dear straight people,
You don't have to like us,
But hating us,
And bashing us,
Isn't gonna make us suddenly go away,
Or quit being gay.
Go back to your prayers that the gays will come to realize if you want,
But I think there are bigger problems in the world
That you need to be concerned with
More than a girl liking *****.

Sincerely,
One who is both a straight and a gay.

I'm lesbian so what
I'm gay so what
I'm bisexual so what
I'm ******* transgender so what
At least i know who the **** I am
I'm pansexual so what
I'm ******* me
I'm myself
If you don't like it
I love it
If you don't care
I cherish it forever
If you hate me
I love you
I'm LGBT
Who the **** are you
Hahaha

Anna's pov while she is dead

For a long time
I nearly failed
Then inexplicably
I began the long steep climb upward
My last chance
But someone took my place

There were times I stayed
To listen to my mother cry
Then one morning
My mother realized that we had everything

Immediately
I felt like I had a shrine
Jesse, sitting on the couch said,"She would have thought it was funny"
The bitter sore memory that someone has left this world
You are still in it
Then one day you look down and see how much pain


Kate's pov as she's alive

I wonder if
Anna lingered in the spaces between the words
I wonder if she knows
That Daddy fell deep after she left
I wonder if she knows that every time I see two little girls
I think of us