It's always while they're sleeping that you wonder the most. You wonder what really goes through their mind when they're not in control of their thoughts, if it's really your face popping up like they tell you it is. If it's you that makes their heartbeat quicken and their breath intensify. You wait for that mutter of a name, of your name. Though most of the time it won't happen, you can't help but wait. And then you're lost in the ins and outs of the air they're taking and you watch as their chest rises only to fall again, hoping you won't end up the same way.
    Their beauty stands out to you the most in this moment. The softened details of their face without emotion, without worry or sadness. The way their eyelids flicker as they dream and you pray that it's you they are looking at. You pray even if you don't believe because isn't anything worth trying to keep these moments yours? The most private of moments unknowingly shared.
    It might only be a brief second before you drift away yourself, only to be greeted with their face again. Or you may ponder on the thought of their peace and pull them closer to you; wrap yourself up tight.
    When they're in your arms, they're all yours for that split second. You'll probably get lost in it, in them, as your lips fall to their skin and you mutter aloud the words you want to narrate their dreams. Hear me, you think, half hoping they'll awaken to meet their lips to yours while the other half is content with this silent admiration. You deepen your breath to match theirs, waiting to meet them wherever they are as soon as your body decides to shut down.
     One more kiss, you think, planning to lean your head forward once more, but before you can, the melody of their breath is forming a lullaby, and you're flying away too.

When thrown into experience we lose
The true condition of the self that proves
We bloom. In spring, in summer; everyday
We have the possibility to Be.
To be aware of who we are, and not to judge
The actions that we take as result of
The limits we perceive through human minds.
Through it all always desperate to find
What lies beneath, the truth of life; our light.
Just let it guide. The rest comes easily.

With hearts for love and hope, not hate and greed,
I'm constantly left contemplating, why?
Willingly in the dark, yet claim to see,
To play the game of ego with the self
While others play along, won't ask for help
Or find it in themselves; refuse to try
Then wonder why they just don't feel fulfilled.
It's not a case of finding light outside,
Just realise the life that's seen in you
Is all the light that shines over the view.

Happy to be a crack within the wall,
That sinks as people think and pressure builds
To strive for freedom, love and life fulfilled
Beyond these callous constraints of control.
Abiding standards set by- who? We fall,
From Self, the Source of true condition killed.
Accepting life through these rose-tints we will
Barely breathe the blessing given to us all.

Through all distractions you cannot deny
We're here. We're- where? A spinning ball of being,
And yet we waste this time, find faults and criticise
Ourselves, and others, still longing for feeling.
The only things we need, an open eye
And mind to help us find our way to healing.

Though sometimes with these ups and downs it may
Seem hard for me to keep within the lines
Of sanity, I swear I'll always try
To keep my colours just as bright as day.
And if I can't, colour me in with shades
That illuminate, enhance and light your life.
And I'll put all the trust in you I find
Within my mind to never let me fade.

I never thought I'd find another who
Could make me feel a little more like me.
Now finding someone I can look up to,
And looks at me the same, I guarantee
This filter that you seem to see me through,
Is all that I could ever wish to be.

Though carefully selected words allow
A slight enlightenment of inner minds
And inner hearts, I'll never truly find
That perfect blend of letters to spell out
Pure sentiments of amour. There's no doubt
Those words do not exist and can't describe
Even a fraction of it all- You're mine.
And just how did that ever come about?

Reflections in your eyes, astonishing;
They never see the inner dark that hides.
Though in my mind it's all that I can bring,
As I can't seem to express any light.
If I could find the perfect words, I'd cling
Forever and you'd heard them every night.

They part to speak something I cannot hear.
As wandering minds find other senses I,
Notice the smell of cigarettes and try
To restrain thoughts of how you'd taste- like beer?
A pause of expectation sends a shock,
A smile will do, then go on to peruse,
That taunting bottom lip, I'd love to use,
As warmth for mine and what that might unlock.

Quickly compose my mind and converse back.
That drunken night falling for you, I thought,
That senses just don't matter now, they're blank.
Just me and you and feelings I once fought.
Two pairs of lips then touch, and I can't track,
Where one pair ends and where the other starts.

A shadow of someone I used to be;
Still fit the silhouette but inside fade.
Stuck down here in the darkness I can't see,
The person standing in the light of day.
That girl who loved the world and life the same,
And threw her heart at everyone she knew,
Guess I can just about recall her name.
It seems like who she was just can't break through,
Those walls that minds put up in times of doubt,
And when that's all there is, sunlight can't help.
Blind eyes get desperate finding their way out,
Back to life in this world I might call hell.

A shadow of someone I used to know,
Without the light, one can't begin to grow.