Heavy rain shatters the earth.
Reflective shards fly upwards,
Spelling out the meaning of life.

‪Consciousness,
‪The chemical reaction,
The purple end of Winter
‪Whispering,
‪Molding the
Silent cascade.

Exchanging shoulders on
The park bench, wind
Wiping away the strands
Of history from her face.
Trees dripping with sweat,
Leaves rustling and buzzing
Around our earlobes
As the forbidden skyline
Sings in black and white.

Orange light finding me
Again within the kaleidoscope,
Scattering a distant caress.
The world bending and
And breaking to compliment
The shape of my aching eyes.

In this prism I’m witness to
Every crime, I savor every
Love etched into the sharp
Edges of every lost soul.
I smell the ashes of
A fallen empire;
I hear the wax sigh of the last man
Sitting across from an empty seat
When the bar lights come on

left surprised
to no surprise

as kaleidoscope lights
show your skirt of stripes
& peace sign eyes

It's over 30 years ago
but no matter where or when
I'd still feel out of place

perfection
caters itself to your grace

and no matter
where I look

I see you

it's taunting the way you
move

and even worse
when you're standing alone

because try
try
try
as a might

I couldn't bear the weight
of being so
small
in your eyes

so once more
I bask

in insignificance
and reluctance

a self-defeating
sore thumb

always out of place

it's the world we live in

or the one of my own
fabrication

where

nothing is really as it seems

it's always something
no matter what

nothing is as it seems

I want to see you
but

precautionary measures
turn to screams

but what is there to lose?

life has grown so
drab and boring

important for a moment

and the ease you
move forward stings

try to be

all the things we
both want me to be

life's not fair

but then again it
molds to how you make it seem

you're over there

and I'm standing with
a heavy lean

if I could I would

sweat and
make us both believe

that these sins

of the flesh
are what we need

your body on mine

slowly
gently
makes me believe

your lips on mine

capture the breathe
we share and heave

your soul with mine

share meaning
I'll conceived

please don't remind

me where I've failed
and leave

growing numb

I want you to
relieve

I want you now
I want you with me

paper-thin walls

for
composed of needles &
egg-shells

and in the middle of it all
gravity is its own
different creature

obscure
and ominous
with more weight
weighing
than usual
&mor;; so
demanding of attention

though so quick to
stay entirely intangible

the sweet scent
of weightless futures ahead
-although possible, not certain-
whisp in through the rips
where windows would be

suspended within a sunray
taunting the senses

this isn't a prison

it's a home

but one can't help but feel trapped

when everything ever known

feels so forcibly shown

it's all come to this
the lacking
the yearning

at this point i'm not afraid
to admit to the fear
i
have
of the
loneliness

it's been so long

long
long
since I've felt a hand on mine

since the warmth of another
vulnerable and fine
lay entwined
body and mind

& and it's hard to bear

just convince
me that
you care

at this point
"you"
is a generalization

please just come to bed

give me that release
help me find that peace

aid me in knowing
the comfort that's growing

perhaps
for once
won't cease

come
to
me

the fear beats
concrete pillows and
cold alleyways
though
as white lines go by
I wish that they
would continue

interrupted but
focused enough to
lead me there

inferior, but
motivated regardless
such is such
and life is life

lead me to pillows fluffed
in understanding, a bed fit for
a delusional king,
grounded in the caress
of intrigue, with the
spirit of the dreamer
dangling up overhead

take me to where I
can dare to indulge in
the freedom of waking
with the sun, the right
and reason to chase it
to its ends, the need to
be where it finds its
refuge in the dark,
the moon resonating
slight, slipping memory
of since passed splendor

allow me to love,
whatever that means

paper thin walls,
foolish dreams, countless
meaningless things
that bring meaning
to those things
countable and concrete

and in no discreet way
I long for life
for despair
for humanistic helplessness
subject to all things beautiful
and eternal

the fear is in fact the pillow,
the comfort, the shelter
the reminder-
and yet the distraction

one must, one must
turn gold to dust

take the place of
random space,
and fill it with the
tarnished grace

the flaws, the tragedy
the confusing beauty
of it all

I want it to disappear
into my heart
mind
and soul

stardust and delusions,
my being
my mystery

that is what all
is and must be

and I will see this through

*I will be consumed