i am 7914 days old as i type this
and those days have been a blur

but nonetheless,
from the beginning-

those countless hours
spent on earth-

to this very
moment in time,

i don't think i've ever seen a more beautiful smile

It's at times like this
that I see your face
in every crevice and empty space
Those haunting eyes held locked
             in place

It's at times like this
that the memories ambush me
Wearing animal skin diapers
Fixing to gut me
            with their spears

It's times likes this
that all the empty words shower me like rain
droplets crawling about my skin
Soaking into open
             wounds

And yet it's at times like this
that I wonder what kind of sound it would make
If you hit the pavement falling from a
very high
             building

it's tragic and it's beautiful
bountiful and bound to fall
it's everything and nothing
and all things in between

my heart sinks, my lips arch
my feet walk, my hands grasp,
my eyes seek, spirit falters,
my skin yearns for
brushes against hers

my dreams mature, though, &
grow closer to a grave below

the green grass now
covered in white sorrow

you are the ghost,
the spirit of snow

fleeting, near-perfect
sad, wonderful

but I long to be
enveloped by thee

I long to see the
ice up to my knees

I'll disappear and
freeze, in that moment

that beautiful moment
eternally yours,
perpetually ours

frozen in time,
frozen in beauty

I'll freeze to death
if you let me

all I want is to say it back
but I can't do that
**I can't do that

there's enough moon up there for two to share*

you think to yourself
as you sit alone

never trust what you say when you're lonely

I'm loathing the pending regret in the morning

what a heart bleeding
what a man's man
you'll soon have her eating
out the palm of your hand

your words are aimless
but what difference does it make
because her eyes are senseless
and locked on your face

soon to reap the reward
of your wordplay and "wit"
your clever aim towards
the slit 'tween her hips

what a bleeding heart, what an obvious plan
what a load of ****, soon you'll too understand

the ship has sailed

it has been met
with unfavorable conditions

and it has sunk

scarred ruins scattered
about the floor of the ocean

wood & fabrics
fragile things
making a place
for scavengers to lay

and the world will keep turning

the waters will still completely

the oceans will evaporate

and an underwater grave
will be visible from space

if only you knew what you
meant, it's true
I've never heard wiser
spelled outwards of you

"when this storm clears,
I'm going to see so many stars"

that's right my dear,
they stretch infinitely far

if only you knew
you spewed metaphor

that your words would mean more
than crashes and steady downpour

when this storm clears, all
I've reaped will be clear
to you as the thing you
need to leave in rear mirror

when this storm clears
you won't be scared of thunder
anymore, lightning will even
widen the eyes in splendor

eyes that were once so
sensitive to light

when this storm clears

all that remains of me
in between air molecules
will dissipate in the ever-
stretching space of
positive possibility

every good thing out there
will guide you like the north
star did, to heathen and
heavenly saint alike,

through famine and flood
wading through rivers of blood
the light above
is constantly in love

that love will shine for you

when this storm clears
there will be no trace of
the dirt and grime that's
since sullied your mind

when this storm clears,
you will be happy

"LOL rectify sounds like ******"

sums up the voice of our generation

fighting the drive
home every
second
that goes by

the shadowy trees
looming over me
mock
taunt

stop signs give
opportunity
for thought
to seep through

those loud
second thoughts
the ones
you hear over
music

louder than the night

invisible forces
guide my feet &
hands towards
the familiar

but

my eyes
mind
soul
search desperately
for something else

i don't know where you
lay
or where your loyalties lie
you may not
even be real at all

but there is something
that makes me
yearn to turn

away from the
obvious path before me

and towards that
immutable
stellar
pull

to immerse myself
in you;
in every sense
of phrase

but this long
dark road keeps
calling my name

the winding
expected
familiarity

so soon
won't release
it's grip on me