When more than one person calls you unattractive
And all in a matter of only two days
It really does stuff to you

Awkward Glaces turned into
Fumbling fingers turned into
Nervous laughter turned into
Hopeless smiles turned into
Heart Break and it was always
All of the passion i could muster
All of it for **you

I hear them whisper,
They've come back again,
I'm no longer me,
I'm just dared.

The dates,
They're ticking.
My clock is running out,
But I'm no longer here.

My heart is long gone,
Like the depths of hell.
I can no longer feel,
So they come to me.

They hold me in my sleep,
I try to drown them,
But my demons,
They know how to swim.

I keep trying,
But it's no use.
I'm now one of them.
In a particular use.

I can't cry.
I don't even remember what it feels like to cry.
I miss the feeling of tears running down my face and on to my pillow creating a pool of sadness.

Like paper
and a match,
you know
exactly what
to say to draw
my anger
to the surface.
You somehow
always bring out
the absolute
worst in me.
-JRM

When I die,
write me a lullaby.
Sing me to sleep,
with a breathtaking melody.

When I am ready to fly,
let me go and do not cry.
Just let me flutter my wings to the beat
of your awe-inspiring harmony.

So, when I die,
please write me a lullaby.
Play it aloud, gently,
then everyone will have known the sound of me.

Me
I quickly tap my screen to respond to your message
"I'm absolute garbage and I love you."

You
Your fingers softly brush against the keys as you type out your reply,
"You're absolutely beautiful garbage and I love you more."

Me
I thought that things would be different with you; you were so much more compassionate
"I think I'm in love with you."

You
You hesitate as you read my message, unaware of the stars that were forming in my mind at the mere thought of you
"I'm not in love with you."

Me
I read the message with my brimming eyes and soon enough, I hear the explosions in my ear of the galaxies that once formed when you told me I was an unexplainable force of nature that everyone was wary of.
I also hear the slow thudding of my heart in my ears before everything fades away and becomes numb.

You*
You sit there, quiet and in deep thought
You heard the planets imploding all the way from your bedroom
But all you did was shrug, shake your head and turn up your music.

Unexplainable sadness
And tears that have no cause
I wish life had a fast forward
And wasn't stuck in pause.

Life at its worst
And sorrow at the max
There is nothing left to do
Yet i cannot relax

Why is it that I cry
When i should be full of joy
And why is that i can't trust?
But i long to trust this boy.

and bed and closet
and solid wood dressers
and mirrors
hung on each wall
so when you stood in the middle
you could see who you were,
four different views,
spin quickly in a circle
and all four become one
dizzy smear of fleshy skin,
dark strands of hair
and constant brown pupils,
trying to focus. Spinning
and getting nauseous
this room's walls inch foreward,
closer, the ceiling lowers
the jagged plastered lines
and edges **** ceasessely
forming a cube condensing
and swallowing your form
up with it. A diamond
shaped prism with your
twirling reflection bouncing
off glass and your life
beaming from their lenses,
out from the geometry
and from the fake wooden beams. underneath white socks
as you fall back
through claustrophobia,
anxiety and time
and lie with your back
on the bed,
reminded of its emptiness,
with the room still circling
you, as a cube
with especially pointed edges,
and you think the dizziness
and headaches would stop
if only he was in that same
shrinking bedroom as you.

He was young
sixteen years old
he had many friends
and a family to hold
he went out one night and got addicted to *****
soon the bottle wasn't enough
he craved heavier stuff
one day he came home angry and confused
he took a gun to his head
BOOM!
he dropped to the floor
a scarlet puddle covered white
Now its time to say goodbye

rockstars break hearts.
they write about feelings
everyone has.

you want so badly to tell them
how much those composed
lyrics mean to you,

but there's so many other innocents
out there who want to do the same.

you want them to really know you.
you want them to know that connection
that you have with them.

the only way you can meet them
is through a stupid meet and greet
where every other "fan"
tells them the same.

all I want to do
is smoke a cigarette with you
and thank you for the lyrics
that saved me.

but I simply can't.
not being able to meet you
simply breaks my own heart.

-*KM