silhouettes and silken sheets
biting skin while climbing trees
we held the candle for too long
made a wish, held my breath
and now...it's gone.

august nights call my name
familiar voice but the face is not the same
he held my hand, told me sweet things
I closed my eyes while it was happening
friendly touch with the coldest sting...

he had soft skin and the kindest touch
flames caught fire, I loved him too much
said I was suffocating him
but I couldn't breathe without him.

he had a different face, hid behind a mask
stupid girl, stop chasing the past
it only comes back to hurt you
no one can hurt me like you do.

I swear I've seen your face before
he had ocean eyes and a deadly smile
that made a heart stop--stop and bleed for a while
but ****, that smile.

count the years that you held me close
broke my neck when I trusted you the most
you had the loveliest lies...
water fills my lungs
as you hold me down
said I was suffocating him
when it was the other way around.

I can't get rid of the
feeling of loneliness
im drowning in hate
will I die today? tomorrow?
I just wanna know
tell me will the pain
follow me to the grave?
I pray to god for
my soul to take

tell is it okay to get lost
in
your
eyes?
tell me can I kiss
those angelic
lips?
if I said I loved you
would you say it back?
would you mean it?
my heart is fragile
my soul is empty
can
you
breath
life
into
me?

I write the words that I wish I could hear,
they flow from my lips, from my fingertips.
A gentle sound that wraps around my mind,
a peaceful world encompasses my soul as I write.
I record what is important to me.
As the way I feel and what I wish I could hear,
power this drive to fill the world with my words.
I speak to those that I care,
I will use my words to share
the way that I feel,
as words can have such an effect,
and I do not want to let any feelings be left.
While my words may not change lives, or move mountains,
they release my soul and make the weight lift off my shoulders.
While when I write it might not be exactly how I feel,
it is the words and feelings that I wish to hear.

do not date a girl
who writes.
she will internalize
everything,
carve poems
into your eyelashes
instead of
kissing them,

she will analyze you,
calculate age
from the rings
your coffee cup
leaves
instead of refilling it.

she will memorize
the way your
lips curl around steam,
but not that you
take it
two sugars,
no cream.

she will read your
palm instead of
holding it
against her chest.

she will not
blink
when you leave,
because she is
already
romanticizing it.

she is so lonely
sitting over there
in the corner by
herself
her so called friends
are more worried about
themselves  
than about their friend
who’s hurting herself
and hiding from them
she’s dropping hints
but no one picks up
they simply don’t care
she’s been hurting for so long
that she’s numb inside
she doesn’t feel pain anymore
she’s used to it and used to
being ignored and left out
the only time that she feels
anything is when her eyes
lets out floods of tears

*(s.m)

She awakes torn apart from the pain deep in her heart mind full of self hate she can't wait till the end gun to her head pulls the trigger sleep softly my dear no more pain for you in the dark close your eyes tight for soon you'll be alright no more screams that haunt your beautiful dreams

These feelings engulf me,
But yet I feel nothing
I pretend I'm okay,
But I just want to explode.

I need to know-
Am I crazy?
Different?
I'm a "good" kid

If only they knew-
These thoughts I've had.
Barely hanging on
Losing the grip on reality.

bury me into the ground.
i am lost, i cannot be found.
but if you happen to find me,
please return me to where i belong;
at the bottom of the deep blue sea.
i am
drowning
in
the
ocean
but
it's
not
the
water
that's
suffocating
me.
my emotions, so strong they're strangling me.
my thoughts, they terrify me.
i would rather live on my knees than die on my feet.
tie me to your car and drag me through the street.
make my skin bleed, tear my thighs.
this doesn't hurt at all, i feel sky high.
to destroy my emotions is to exploit my pain.
this is my release, i am not insane.
i am not insane.
i am not insane.
i am not insane.
i
am
not
insane
i
am
nothing
at
all.
     bury me anywhere
i dont care i dont care i dont care

i dont exist
i am not even imaginary
please dont insist
that i am extraordinary

just leave me alone
with my ocean;
my home.
let the liquid fill my lungs
as i float
float
float
i am weightless;
i am nothing.
never was something.
never want to be.
i am always drowning in the deep blue sea.

Remember me when
I am gone in a sorrow island
Where you can no longer feel my presence as usual

Rememember me when
I am gone away
Far away in a deadly place
Where we can no longer see
And talk as we used to

Take me away-
Distract me from this place.
Stress has overtaken me
My life has forsaken me.
I have just realized,
After all that I've done,
I've become like them.
A mindless robot
With sociopathic tendencies.
I'm begining to malfunction.
Help me,
Take me away.
Fix me.