When you told me you loved me
I thought that meant every part.
But when I told you I was pregnant
you started choosing which parts deserved
to be loved
and which parts did not.

i love it when the sun is setting and all the trees turn black
something about the dark outlines are so beautiful and there's nothing i love more
except you
you are the marvelous sunset behind those black trees
filled with hues of pink and orange and purple and yellow and blue all mixed together into one thing that is way to beautiful to even be real
but it is real and all you wanna do is save it and hold on to it forever but you can't
because eventually the sun will set and you will be left with black wishing for all those hues to come back
no memories or pictures could ever really capture it's beauty
that's how i feel about you
you are the sunset behind the black trees but i know you won't last forever so i'm going to admire you for as long as i can
until eventually my whole world turns black

The trees are about to show us how lovely it is to let the dead things go.

I stand sadly by my window
Watching as winter once again
Claims all that surrounds me

I once loved this season
Of icy snow, wool socks,
And fires to keep me warm

But now I dread stepping outside
For I know I will never again
See your footprints next to mine

They say that actions
Speak louder than words
So please
Let me hold you close
And instead of whispering into your ear
I'll lean over
And plant my words
Directly onto your lips

My friends all think I'm crazy because I stand in the middle of the street and talk to a God that doesn't exist while high-fiving the windshields of passing school buses. I stopped taking my medication again because guilt taste a lot better than artificial happiness, and I stopped wearing that cross you bought me for my eight birthday because it contradicted the sense of uselessness I received for my twelfth. Life seems a lot less precious when you're talking to your parents in the TV room of a psychiatric unit and look them in the eyes while they tell me not to cry and say that 'pain is only temporary'. All I do is write letters to a man on the moon about the time I realized how hard and easy it is to die. Send me to therapy and make me take pills. I'll smile, but I'll always remember how to tie a noose

When deep breaths won't work
And you're trembling from the fear
Don't you dare shed tears

I'm damaged goods.
the mail-in rebate you'll never quite get around to sending.
rather you neatly sit it atop your chestnut coffee table, politely acknowledge it's existence, and try to remember to buy postage stamps for an envelope you believe you will mail.
you won't.
you will ignore it.
just as you have ignored me.
legs crossed, sitting atop the coffee table we never bothered to buy, scraped knees and insecurities that you have tried your best to deny.
the mail in rebate will one day expire.
I pray that I will not.

Breaking News: He paid attention to you and you had your clothes on