It starts at the bottom
Of my belly,
Right above your
Favorite spot,
Then it pings
And pongs
From elbows to knees,
From toes to shins,
From heart to biceps,
And from head to fingers,
Taking it's final bow
On the parts of my back
You sculpted-
This is how I miss you,
In every bend, crack, snap, and creek
In every bone, vein, muscle, and tendon.

You ripped my soul out
You ripped it clean
Inserted a demon
That *******, FIEND!

You released the evil
You released it whole
Fighting against it
I can't win this war

Why did you do it?
Why did you let go?
I buried the hatchet
Now I am digging the hole

Burning with rage
Burning with fear
It was locked away forever
Now forcibly here

Just leave me alone
Just leave me so free
I was standing so proud
Now fetal with need

You did this to me
You would do it again
Releasing this hell
No mind or no brain!!

The hazel centers draw me in
and the comfort of the pools of green
and blue keep me in, so soft and peaceful
wishing to be seen.

So I cannot deny it,
can not deny your eyes
their need to be seen
by mine.

Eyes closed, yes eyes
and what is wrong
there is always something
something is always wrong.

The center of your eyes draw me in
and the serene pools hold me close
but I pull back and push away because
no matter how you love, he still loves the most.

In a void consumed in flames.
You are all I can breathe.

I know her
That of which your heart is made,
That for whom it beats,
That for whom it bleeds.
She is forever scarred
Into your skin
Like a one-winged
Butterfly tattoo.
Your dream lays
Where she sleeps,
Where she breaths
Soft and neat.
Your passion lives
Where her attention
Is yours for hours
And you long for years
To trade her fears
For heavy tears.

And you long for her smile,
Her laughter
For only a short while.

But your pain expands
Where mine also does.
My shattered heart and I
Know you, feel you
For you are broken
Just like us.


F.Z.N

When the blood runs ice cold
and the skin rots away the bold
and fires flare and burn the old
the newness grows like mold

The antigens begin again
and corrode away the day
parading their posse, awfully
in real time

Picture perfect

The pioneers rest again
lasted and casted
forces and spells
friction and contradiction, expelled
and we then drink water from the old dried well

I remember the first day,  I walked into class,
At seven years old saying "This will be a blast!"

The classroom was full, the bell did ring
Lessons being taught, so it begins

Recess starts, the teams are split
Standing alone, the last one picked

Slowly it starts, as laughter and fun
but deep inside, I am seeing no sun

The nicknames had started, not laughing inside
but what did I do, starting to cry

Never belonging or being accepted
being myself, I felt dissected

From 2nd to 3rd and up into 8th grade
the bullies got worse, fearing into fade

Freshman to Senior, I thought I was stronger
Hitting my point, it started to boil over

It was one little word that threw me over the edge
Couldn't take it no more, all that was said

I stood up to the bully, on that great day,
all was released, feeling no shame

But it doesn't stop there, the torment goes on
At night, I dont sleep, I just sing a song

That song never ends, forever on that round
it never skips a beat, listen to the sound

Decades goes on, never forgetting the names
What has happened to me? Am I going insane?

These are the first names that tortured my young soul
Always in my mind, but never letting go

So Danny, Robert, Terry and Andy
You are not very special or very well dandy!

Oh Michael and Chuck and Bill, I remember
stand up to call, hell is your number

Chris, Steven, and even Brad
Life's but a mystery,  so why are you so sad

I tried to forgive you deep in my heart
Why did you bully me? TEARING MY WORLD APART!!

wind hits hard and constant
had to batten down
ride it out
snuggle in