you were in everything
my thoughts
my daydreams
my stories
my poems
and now
i don't even have
a place for you
at all

A profound moment lost forever
In the wake of worry
Awe’s reverent beauty
Overlooked for life’s illusions
No wonder lights the soul
As worry’s froth and foam
Clouds one’s perspective*

Lost in thought and never saying never
Everything is blurry like walking in a flurry
Beauty surrounds me even when I feel pity
Chances squandered, like when an ump cried "foul!"
I dance with death with awe
Each move so seductive

I can say the right things
yet in the wrong time,
while I say the wrong things
in the right time.

The heart that beats within me now
Was silent for a while:
Shouldering the guilt of years
And clothed in my denial.

And when, those blurry months ago,
It stirred to life again,
I tried to still my beating heart
The way it was back then.

I should have known, I should have seen
Through my soul's sad disguise;
But ev'ry time I saw the truth
I quickly closed my eyes.

The heartbeat in my shackled chest
Was loud, but I was louder.
Sticking fingers in my ears,
I hummed to quell the doubter.

"Your heart's alive! It beats again!
The fears you loved have faded."
But I felt safe behind the bars
My jailed heart had created.

So, silently, this gentle Trust
That I had never known
Came whisp'ring through to save my heart
Of flesh, and not of stone.

Trust wrapped its arms around me
And lifted up my soul
From depths of blue obscurity
And I gave up control.

I opened up my eyes that day
And though they shone with tears,
The hurting heart inside of me
Felt stronger than those fears.

Two days, and nineteen hours
Are left 'till he arrives;
And I'd count the ticking minutes
If I thought it'd keep me alive.

These thoughts just won't stop chasing
The dreams I once believed;
And when I try to catch them,
I find they can't be retrieved.

I'm trying to stand and fight it.
I'm giving it all that I've got.
But finding that I'm not adequate
Ties all of my strength in a knot.

Rain doesn't just soak your jacket,
It seeps in and freezes your bones;
And all of the warmth leaves your body
As you wander bad weather alone.

But find you a friend, and you're warmer
If only because he's a smile.
Just braving rain with a companion,
It takes the edge off for a while.

So I won't let fear keep me lonely:
I'd rather run through fields of glass
Than stay one more day in my bedroom
Just waiting for sadness to pass.