I know you’re tired of me, because I’m tired of myself. And it’s not just the weight of my body, but the relentless echo of my thoughts, circling like vultures over the dead parts of me I can’t seem to resurrect. Each morning feels like I’m peeling myself out of bed, shedding skin that’s steeped in shame. I watch you sip your drink, knowing it’s easier than saying my name. You used to look at me like I was the sunset, worth staying a little longer for. Now your eyes drift: to the clock, to the glow of your phone, to anywhere but here. And I can’t bring myself to blame you. I built a mausoleum out of what we had, hoping you’d still find warmth in a tomb. My chest wasn’t always this hollow, but over time it unraveled, thread by thread, pulled by hands that mimicked mine. Now even your kindness makes me flinch, and the silence between us feels like confirmation of everything I fear. Somehow, I’m always too much and never enough all at once. I understand if your soul is weary, calloused by the effort it takes just to keep trying. I’ve carried the ache of my own presence for so long that sometimes, even I wish I could leave.

The cup of tea
sat cold on the table,
I waited for her,
but the chair remained empty.

the first time her lips met mine
was like a war ending,
like the moment the bomb hits
and the smoke curls up,
and for one second,
the world forgets its weight.

it wasn’t soft.
it wasn’t polite.
it was heat,
and teeth,
and a hunger I didn’t know
I’d been starving for.
her hand brushed my waist
like a secret,
fingers tracing the curve of my body
like she was trying to memorize
the taste of me.

we fell into it—
the kiss,
the touch,
the way our bodies came together
like they’d always known
where they belonged.
I wanted to hold it,
wrap it around me like a blanket,
press my face to her neck
and never let go.
her breath was warm against my skin,
her heart beating louder than mine,
and in that moment,
nothing else mattered.

but then—
the door slammed open,
the world barged in,
with its judgment and its fists.
the voices rose,
too loud,
too angry,
too full of things we never asked for.

“what the hell is this?!”
they screamed.
and I looked at her,
hoping she’d hold me,
hoping she’d fight for us.
but she pulled away,
eyes wide like I was a stranger,
like I was the one who’d made her
forget her place.

“no, no, no,”
she screamed,
shaking her head,
her voice cracking like glass.
“it wasn’t me—
she made me do it!
I didn’t want this.
I didn’t want her.”

and every word she said
ripped me open,
every syllable was a knife
twisting into the space
we’d just built between us.
I stood there,
frozen,
feeling the weight of her denial
crush everything I’d felt.

her eyes,
her beautiful eyes,
didn’t look at me anymore.
they looked at the floor,
at the people who’d come to take me from her.
and in that moment,
I realized how small I was—
how easy it was for her to forget
the taste of me,
the heat of me,
how easily she could sell us out
for the sake of safety.

I didn’t fight.
I didn’t scream.
I just turned,
and walked away,
my lips still burning from her kiss,
but knowing it was already dead.

Remember when life was easy
When it wasn’t all that hard
Now we struggle keeping up with the Joneses
And wonder if the Smiths are who they say they are

That was before we thought we needed
All they told us that we did
I’m to the point where they can keep it
This surely is no way to live

That’s when you say don’t call me Shirley
As we both chuckle over that
The only thing that keeps us going
Is the fact we still can laugh

Remember when Penny candy
Cost a penny and nothing more
And we were happy with one piece
Before greed yanked ******* our cord

Simpler ways, simpler days
We were simply happier then
Before we made the mistake
Of them telling us what we had to have

Back then when life was easy
When it really wasn’t all that hard
Now we struggle to keep up with the Joneses
And wonder if the Smiths are who they say they are