Sleepy moon,
Can I see you soon?
Can I watch your rays of light,
Fall upon me tonight?
Can I feel your soft dust,
Of peaceful sleeping lust?
Oh sleepy moon,
Can I see you soon?

He caresses my jaw
Like fine china.

He gazes at me
As if I were rare.

My hands are shaking like
I'm going through withdrawals.

Knobby knees are weak
From the sheer sight of him.

I feel I am a mere mortal;
He is sure I am a goddess.

I miss the boy who sells fruit in a place where people say no good comes out of. I miss his shorts that look like fields ripe with harvest and his ocean of a t-shirt.

I miss his little mop of wavy black hair, his green eyes that become crystals in the sunlight and deepen in its absence.

Is your name Garik? Or is it Garo? Or am I getting you mixed up with someone else? I may have forgotten the symbols for which represent you but I will never forget what made you you to me, here:

Your smile as wide as the watermelons you sell. Your heart warmer than the strong coffee your mother makes. Your scrawny legs that always made their way a little closer to me no matter what time of the day it was and your voice that crossed oceans with a melody that sang "We are here."

And we were.

We were two people-- you of pomegranates and fresh sunflower seeds and I of mangoes and mangosteens, two entirely different shades of earth, you with your snow flakes and I with my sun rays, you with your black robed monks and I with my white clothed priests, yet there we were.

Oh brave little boy, I love how different doesn’t scare you.

My slanted eyes did not seem strange you, nor did you question why my skin looks like the browned sides of baked bread compared to the floury white of your arms. You did not find it funny that I must be at least five years older than you are yet must be at least half a head shorter. It did not matter to you that the only words we had to give each other in the same tongue were “Hello!”, “How are you?”, “What is your name?”, “Where are you from?” because sometimes those words are all it takes to make your way into someone’s heart and stay.

As for mine, stay you did. Language, cultural, socio-economic barriers were nothing to you.

Instead, you simply played the boy who wanted to know the girl. And so I played the girl who responded, the girl who saw the boy's clouds of smoke in the sky spelling out "We are here.”

And we were.

And it’s been three months.

Now you are there.

And I am here.

But to you, it's the other way around. Because here is a matter of who is telling the story. Maybe we will never again be characters in the same chapter. Or maybe we will be. And maybe I am counting the pages until for us, here is right where we both are.

We sleep
So our darkest thoughts
Can be passed off
As nightmares

Blank are your eyes
when you look in the sun
and pretend you're alive.


F.Z.**N

I pray for your fingertips. That each edge of this world you touch will walk away equally blessed as I am each day to have you. That the blood that circulates through your skin considers itself grateful to power such a beautiful monument.

I pray for your shoulders. For they will hold the weight of our universe for no other reason than love. That the stars will remember your constellation. And with the strength of god himself you will move mountains.

I pray for your feet. Each sinew of stretched promise embracing the footfall of your everything. Your presence, a fossilized stone blazing trails of altruism with a smile. And for a foot massage when you return to my hands which have Awaited you ever so eagerly.

I pray for your eyes. The cinema they are will tell me stories. Displaying travel with a short film of service and the ending credits written in forever. For your eyes are filled with life and will be memories in dreams for those wanting a better tomorrow.

I pray for your lips. As waterfalls of words will slash into the immensity in front of you, remember the power you possess in your tongue. Always speak in tongues of forgiveness. In tongues of acceptance. Your voice alone, is proof that god is good.

I pray for you mind. Finding patience in washed clothe pockets. Slow yourself to anger and quickly grow to understanding. Keep a treasure chest of memories that I may find when you return. Peace shall be present upon you, If not don't forget to ask for it.

I pray for your heart. May your heartbeat find the same channel as mine. Absorb each and every fiber of the moments you exist there. Carve drawings telling of your life on the walls. Pump life into the air current so it reaches me. After all, we are under the same sky.

Quit depicting yourself as the artist when you should be the one on the canvas.

And when the bell tolls, as expected, I imagine
an unconvincing ending and quick new beginning
fighting my instinct that tells again and again
it's just a nonsense we force ourselves to embrace
obeying an illogical prompt never once questioned

Before you, no one I had fallen for had ever really seen me naked.

No, not the literal way with the clothes off and the skin bare and the turn ons. More people than I'd like have seen me that way.

With you its like you see me, see deeper than my soft skin and deeper than my bones, you see right through me and break down the walls I've been carrying up for so long.

You've managed to see that I'm tied together with a smile, but with you I come undone. You see me, no guts, not glory, just plain, broken, unattractive me and somehow you find it beautiful. I know you do, but the fact that you do still astounds me.

After waking up so many mornings next to you, sometimes i wish it was the only way I could wake up anymore. Sometimes nights haunt me, and they torment me and torture me with the memories of my past and the shadows of my own darkness, but in the morning, its just you and me and I'm happy. I love how purely happy I am to glance over to your sleeping face and realize that maybe for once I did something right, maybe I chose right.

I'm falling in love with you, I hope you know. Each second the feeling compounds until sooner or later I won't be able to stop myself from saying I am in love. But for now, I'm content with falling. Most times it terrified me, it broke me down to tears, because I was fully aware the person I was falling for would not be there to catch me.

But with you? Oh you, I know you. You'd do anything to be at the bottom of that cliff, right where you belong, ready to catch me when I'm done.

You, the one who I never expected. You see me better than most people have in years. You are strong even when you don't fully believe it, and remain confident even when you feel insecure.

There is one promise I must make to you, unexpected one, and its this; I may falter and I may break down every once in a while, and you may feel like you always have to be strong for me, but I will always be there for you. I will always try to smile for you. I will do anything to make sure you stay the strong, confident person you are because I know that's who you want to be. I will try to keep you strong even when you feel at a loss. I will take down my walls and instead put them elsewhere to hold you up, and not quite protect you from the world, but make that strength of yours easier to bear. I will fight my disorder. I will for you.

Why?

Because you've seen me naked, and instead of wishing for the happy me or shunning the sad me or insisting the sadness isn't real, you held me and promised things would get better and promised I could be stronger than I think I am. And for that I will never falter.

Now that you've seen me imperfect, and now that I see you naked too, there is no going back.

And there is no way I would want to.