words escape my lips
      before i can restrain them

they are brutal murderers
      cold and unforgiving

i wonder if i'll get a life sentence
      for the things i have said

is there is a possibility of parole?
      or simply a life behind bars?

my own danger shocks me
      rattles me to the core

i never knew i could be capable of such things
      never knew i could say that to someone i loved so dearly

but the words are gone
      drifting in the breeze

constantly searching until they reach
      the ears of the person they will hurt most

the silence is killing me.
     everyday we don't talk feels like eternity.

your blank stares are painful.
     it's enough to make me go mental.

i try to excuse you.
     but do you know what i'm going through?

it's nights like these
that my mind becomes my own worst enemy.

when i put on a rope necklace,
and pour myself a tall glass of bleach.

imagining what it would be like to have all the pain stop,
and for the static noise to be silent for once.

it's enough for me to go through the motions,
preparing to end it all.

but i wake up from my trance each time,
realizing the truth of the world.

i undo the clasp of my necklace of rope,
and pour the bleach down a drain.

the razor blades go back in the drawer,
and the pills back in the bottle.

waiting until next time.

it's nights like these where i almost do...
but don't.

i believe that the people who mean the most to you
are the ones you find on accident

we go looking for who we think we want
but the people we meet by chance are the ones we connect to most

that's what i find to be true

look for love in places you'd least expect it
and it will come to you

there is no answer
    stop searching
         you won't find it

it will only
   make it easier
      to lose your mind

i don't want to hurt you
   there's nothing left to hide
      i've given you everything i have

if you stopped looking
   you might open your eyes
      and truly see for the first time

do not search anymore
   only listen to these words
      and feel their true meaning

i am pouring my heart out
   hoping that you'll understand
      my complicated vibes for you

so don't look
   pause and listen
      long enough to feel

at first i was angered.
your words poked the place in my heart
where all had rotted away and a gaping hole was all that was left.
i wanted to scream, shout, get my point across.

but then i stopped.
i thought about what i wanted to say,
and i realized that attack wasn't the solution.

i started to become disappointed.
i felt sorry for you,
and the lack of love in your heart.
i pitied your closed mind and judgements,
but i didn't want to hurt you.

what good would it do?

so i'll let you on your way,
enabling you to make the same mistakes over and over.

i hope one day you'll learn the truth.

but until then, i do not hate you.
i have only love for you.

take note.

someone once told me people do their best dreaming while they're asleep.

i don't buy it.

on the contrary,
i think people do their best dreaming whilst awake.

that's when they're the most tangible,
and are more easily remembered,
or acted upon.

take action!
stand up, don't wallow in self pity and hopelessness.

don't you want to taste achievement on your tongue and feel accomplishment swell inside your chest?

you want something?

then get up and go get it!
no one's holding you back.

do your best dreaming when you're awake.

like a perfect storm
my anger brews

wind chill low and
intensity high

i roar through the towns
leaving wreckage in my wake

never once looking back
at the damage i have inflicted

who knows where i'll go next
a storm is unpredictable, you see

there may not be a tomorrow
but there sure as hell will be a tonight

i swirl over raging waters,
growing stronger as we speak

this hurricane inside me is forceful
and the eye may be inviting

but don't ignore what is
closing in all around you

i can destruct whatever i please
with no one being able to stop me

until one day

i diffuse

your kiss was as tasty
as strawberry sauce.
but was it your tongue
or just your lipgloss?

your hair smelled of wild flowers,
sickly sweet and divine.
your perfume was so rustic,
like a soft scented pine.

your eyes sparkled bright
like the overhead stars.
with you softly singing,
and me strumming guitar.

we danced until morning,
skinny dipped in the stream.
it all seemed so perfect,
could it be just a dream?

our nights that summer,
i won't soon forget
the memories we made
or the girl that i met.

i remember what it was like to call you mine
to feel your breath against my neck
and to be able to drag my fingers across your soft skin

i remember brushing your hair away from your shoulder,
making way for my lips to kiss your collarbone

and i remember what it was like to see you cry,
the night you told me that you loved me
but had to go

i was lost for awhile,
until i moved on
made my way around a circle of lovers
giving away parts of myself

it's been two summers
but my heart still remembers you

make it work
make it happen
take what you've got
use what your given

turn something old
into something new
but whatever it is
make it you

don't give up
work long hours
remember that you
have all the power

the pain is hard
i won't lie
sometimes all you
can do is cry

but you pick yourself up
get back on your feet
because you know
that you cannot be beat

in the end know
you'll be proud
flaunt your finished product
don't be afraid to be loud

people call me danger.

they say it with bile in their throats
and venom on their tongues.
they hurl it at me,
hoping it will leave me a mark,
but it never does.

people call me danger as an insult,
but i take it as a compliment.
danger awakes you
and excites you.
danger makes you feel something again.

i'm glad that i am capable of doing that to people.

if you remove danger from life,
what more is left than only a mundane existence?

we remember moments of danger for the entirety of our lives.
the moments we spend scared are the ones that stick with us.

i walk down the hall with danger written on my back,
making the hearts of those around me beat faster and faster.
it gives me a sense of power,
a confidence of sorts.

fear is my ally,
not my enemy.

so you can call me danger all you want,
i won't object.