Poems for a heart that hurts..

Dec 2017

Minuscule Ego

My beloved, I dreamt a dream,
A bright silhouette, a perfect gleam,
My name, I heard you scream,
That deafening pitch, aroused me of my heavenly dream,
You kept sending out those booming invocation,
As an unwanted solo, it captured my attention,
It aroused those never ending intentions,
And left me with an unending lamentation,

I've loved you long enough,
Constantly watched from afar,
Knowing you were off limits,
I've loved you in secret,
It hasn't been that small,
I just couldn't dream it,
I had to tell it,
I'm not ashamed to admit it,

You were everything I ever wanted,
Those times together in a pack,
Left me with that increasing spark,
I fell for you much like a sack,
But you did for him in just a blink,
He stood taller, you felt bigger,
It made me stronger.

I bowed at night
Longing for a glow of light
A spark to lead me to you
But you turned the other way
Took a step away,
Cast out our salvation
Blamed me for the situation,
Then broke our association,
You just couldn't see beyond the imperfection,
My damnation.

I became heart broken,
It left me wary and marred
Those hidden tears, I give as a token,
I'd fell for you in a minute
You shattered that in just a second
How I wished you could see me now?
Those ***** dreams are over
I'm all sober

But you still captured my mind
Your spark I've still intend to find
My daily measures of you are real
They are not those reflected in the mirrors
Or those of your faithless minions
It's far countless for their opinions,

You are all I've ever desire
My love for you has never expired
Time must've skipped fast
But it never did pass
Your memories still last
I've loved you 'til forever
For as long as I can remember
I just wish you dreamt it too.

#love #tears #betrayal #hurt #wishes #mistakes

Dec 2017

Arcassin B

Same Scenario

By Arcassin Burnham

Sweet dreams at the dark end of the hall reminds
me of a day when I get close to you.

He was never good with confessing his feelings But
I can show you better than I can tell you.

When he leaves and I walk in,
thinking you're alone , you say its complicated.
when theres no more love to give, I'll be waiting for you,
Its the same scenario.
Its the same scenario.
Its the same scenario.
Its the same scenario.

Love doesn't want to come that easy when you
reach for the top.

Love yourself for the moment cause in reality thats all you got.

Don't be the line cast into the water while the fishes go below.

See reality for what it is in this life and don't end up in the same
scenario.

©abpoetry2017

https://arcassin.blogspot.com/2017/12/same-scenario.html

#words #love #romance #game #cycle #cheap #list #scenario #same #time

Dec 2017

Anya

Invisible

She feels invisible
Full of insecurities, of doubts
No matter how much she reminds herself
That's she's not worth the struggle
She's still tired of people and their nonsense
People talk and gossip
Refusing to understand why
She's invisible
People laugh and enjoy life
Why can't she?
The capability of being noticed
It makes her envious
Living seems impossible
Being forced to live this "normality"
What's wrong with being different?
She's invisible
People scared of homosexuals, suicides, and "freaks"
Nothing's wrong with them
People feel unwanted-she feels unwanted
Undecided, under appreciated, never understood
Being afraid to even show her true self
She's invisible
Praying to be loved
She's hidden
Hiding who she is from fear
Making those beautiful artworks in her room
Her arms being her canvases
Sitting, thinking in the shower for ages
Always guilty for no reason
She's invisible

There isn't really a sad or depressing backstory to this, just a little something I wrote when I was like 12 or so. Hope you guys enjoy it.

Dec 2017

Jellyfish

Depression

Some people say my sad brain deceives me, I wonder if it's true?

#depression #decieved #brain #sad

Dec 2017

lauren

not okay

i broke today.
i watched my bones shatter on the ground
and fall into a million pieces onto the floor.
as i stared at my breaking body,
i came to a realization.

the pieces that were one so beautifully sculpted
were deformed and
unfamiliar.
a distorted picture of who i once was.

i cried for the person who resonated
darkness in me,
staring
standing
still.

i will conquer and fix myself
someday
but for now
im okay with not being okay

Dec 2017

Francie Lynch

I Can't Forget What Never Happened

I can't forget what never happened,
With false memories of you.
I wish to forget the events that did
The ones that haunt me still.
The ribbons and bows of preparations,
The unbridled joy of celebrations;
The returning from varied vacations,
The last corner turn onto our street.
The Sunday meals with family,
Grandkids bouncing on our knees
While I sit content by you.
Afternoons with books and tea,
Steeped in a ****** mystery.
The silent walks beneath our galaxy;
Entwined and wrapped watching t.v.,
The quiet evenings burning fires,
The passion of our own desires.
Or just laying awake while you sleep.
I placed the whats in the who, where, when;
Recalling shadows of future events,
That won't be happening again.

Dec 2017

Rick the shoe shine boy

NO FRIENDS

it’s all behind me,

the past,

like a dream,

a dream I once lived in
with vivid memories
of nostalgia and the
many people I’ve
encountered and
can’t remember
along the way

some alive,
some dead,
some gay,
some straight,
some drunk,
some sober,
some successful,
some still searching for success,
(no one is a failure)
some married,
some single forever
but the fragrance of
our friendship is gone,
past expired and evaporated.

I will never see them again
until I hear about their untimely
death and make myself present
to a funeral I wasn’t invited to but...

today is not yesterday,
today is not tomorrow,
today is today,
today is right now
and right now is the most
overlooked opportunity
to make something happen

so tonight,
just like the night before it
and many nights after,
the sun will settle down
leaving the clouds burning
red and the luminous moon
will leave a smudge print
in the night sky

I will not phone an
old friend and play
“catch up” with our lives
and speak of old times past,

just sit in my fortress of solitude
with the best strategy I know.....
to get drunk
without any.

it will remain
better this way

from this moment forward

#poem #nofriends #dontneedthem #solitude

Dec 2017

Wk kortas

sick day

Three days, is what the HR rep said, somewhat sheepishly,
As if she was fully aware that boxing up one’s grief
In a span of a few dozen hours
Is a matter of wishful thinking
And certainly she sympathizes
(Indeed, as she speaks,
She spreads her hands in such a way
As you half expect doves to come forth in full flight)
Empathy being their stock in trade,
But the law and the handbook say three days,
And then you need to have your head
******* back on and looking forward.

Eventually, the mail brings fewer envelopes
Marked with embossed flowers
And subdued and tasteful stamps,
The usual flow of solicitous inquiries,
Pre-stamped and pre-sorted,
Inquiring as to your credit needs,
The condition of your windows and siding,
Resumes apace, and more than once,
In fits of inappropriate black humor and frustration,
You scribble, in bold thick strokes of a marker,
The addressee no longer resides at this location.

You return to nine-to-five,
Though your ghosts keep their own hours,
Stopping by to visit on their own schedule alone,
Prompted by the tiniest of things:
The dog scampering to its feet in a hurry,
As if someone was at the door,
The discovery of a long-unused pitching wedge
Standing expectantly in the back of the closet,
A song from long ago which was beloved
When you lived in the pairing mandated by Noah
Before you entered the shadow world of ones and nones.
Sometimes you give into the giddy madness,
And rise to waltz around the room,
Careening about unsteadily, clumsily
As you have yet to completely master
The difference in weight shift and distribution
That is required of a solo act.
The timing of these visitations
Often disrupts your schedule and sleep patterns,
And you think that perhaps tomorrow you’ll call in.

#thesefoolishthingsremindmeofyou

Nov 2017

L B

In Between Jobs

One of those north face nights
cloudless, dreamless
thousands of feet up and clinging
Wedged
between cold and moonlit— still

Red digits cannot contain
the 3:15 that they proclaim

Breathing sideways
to get enough!

The air is paper thin

Idle snow—
loitering….