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 Jan 2015
xx
Falling for you is like
Falling to the bathroom floor
Foolish and clumsy I was
Slippery and painful it was
But I learned my lesson
And won't fall for you again
 Jan 2015
Liz And Lilacs
"I'm dying to see you *******."

Then die.
Keep your hands to yourself.
I'm angry.
 Jan 2015
Dust Bowl
I carry my backpack, and the addition thirty pounds of stress that goes along with it.
I carry an MP3 player, filled with 1500 songs that make more sense to me than any math lesson ever has.
I carry a necklace from the 1800's that no one in my family cares enough about to remember who it originally belonged to. We both carry the feeling of being passed along.
I carry a notebook with letters I'll never have the nerve to send. I carry a pen that's been through more with me than any of my friends.
I carry my scraped knees and a tendency to fall to the waste side.
I carry my father's temper like a hot coal in the pit of my stomach. I carry his high expectations and my mother's victim complex. All three of which are, apparently, hereditary.
I carry Chapstick, Neosporin, and band-aids. Because things crack, and things break, and some things tend to cut.
I carry the same mindset as an Oxford comma and a worry of being replaced. We both carry the feeling of not really mattering.
I carry my uncle's divorce, & the way we buried him only a year after the papers were signed. I carry the way his ex wife's grudge is stronger than her children's love for their family.
I carry the dream catcher my dad keeps in his room, the one I got rid of years ago when I realized nothing would keep my nightmares away.
I carry the time my hero had his heart broken and spent the next year at the bottom of a bottle.
I carry the headstone that marks the beginning of my abandonment issues.
I carry a .037 fl oz tube of eyeliner in the hopes that no one will mess with a girl who always looks like she has two black eyes.
I carry a pre-med major that will never make me as happy as it will make my parents. I carry my family's hopes on my back & the way I feel like an emergency room with no more room left for patients.
I carry my best friend's name like an obituary I never got to read. I carry the way his head hit his windshield faster than it ever hit my lap, and the way I've hated sitting in the driver's seat ever since. I carry the way I never want to be invited to another funeral & the way each body they've buried makes me feel like I'm already 6 feet under.
I carry the mattress I slept on as a child. Pink flowers & blue satin & cold sweats detergent couldn't fade. The one I spent an entire afternoon scrubbing bloodstains out of, hoping my mother wouldn't notice when she changed the sheets. She never did, or at least she never asked, and sometimes I still wish she had.
I carry how my friend thinks her high school boyfriend breaking up with her is the worst that could happen, and the way I hope she always does.
A response to "The Things They Carried" by Tim O'Brien (a book I HIGHLY recommend).
 Jan 2015
----
sometimes i feel as though
my mind was set
to self destruct,
and i just cant seem
to find the switch
to make it stop.
maybe that's because
it's buried beneath
the very thoughts
that set it off.
 Jan 2015
ThePoet
How much do you have to hate life

to not be scared of death?

©
 Jan 2015
Avery Glows
You cannot break down.
When everyone else is expecting you.
You cannot break down,
When someone else is relying on you.
You cannot break down,
When there are those dependent on your
thoughts.
You cannot break down.
When you're a role model
to someone so young.
You cannot break down or you will break
his future.
No selfishness can explain what
atrocity it is.
But I cannot hold back any
more any
longer.
Time shall bleed me out I can tell
where I burn bridges
along
with all your pleas
demanding more.
 Jan 2015
WickedHope
If I count
The drops
It makes it easier
To forget
Why
I'm doing this
I'm in pain either way.
At least I can control this.
 Dec 2014
Liz And Lilacs
A man once loved her
She warned him to stay away.
She was a monster,
She liked to hurt.
She knew she would hurt him,
Because she couldn't understand
Why he would love her.
He grew sick of her self hatred,
He didn't want to see her scars.
She couldn't write love poetry for him,
Because she doesn't believe in love.
He gave up on her,
and she wrote more poems.
 Dec 2014
Bluebird
For a long time i believed i was alright,
Then i stared to talk myself into it,
i was telling those words to myself, until,
there was no one to believe in them.
 Dec 2014
fiachra breac
I know you're hurting, sweetie, and it's breaking my heart. I keep seeing all these horrible things in my sleep and it's scaring me.
I want to tell you so much, but I'm afraid I'll hurt you again - and I cannot do that.

I wanted to **** myself, and I don't know how I'll tell anyone that, let alone my best friend. I prayed for the end; I knew how I was going to do it: and then an angel showed up.

There are moments when it feels like it's better, but sometimes, they hurt the most, because they are so fleeting.
I don't know if it'll ever get better, darling, but sleep tight, you hear?
Sleep...

Don't you go worrying about me, I'll be fine. It's probably just a phase. I'll be fine in a few weeks, or a month, or a year.
Chin up, darling, you're doing great.
 Dec 2014
Mouth Piece
i have masks that hide me in plain sight! Masks….upon….. masks….. upon…. masks… woven in my flesh in a habitual binge of pain and pleasure….
i'm stripping down to reality…… a reality covered in lies!!  O how i’m living a lie!
i’m falling deeper into confusion and deeper into understanding….
How clever a coward like me to justify hypocrisy ...i can’t bare to know anymore and i cant bare or afford not to listen.. .. OOO Why can't i discard the mask that sings my name?!!  O Lord please make me invisible to the sight of yesterdays lies in those eyes that are envious and  jealous.....may i sing i was blind and now i see……..fill me with true identity
 Dec 2014
Bluebird
Don't try to shape me with your mind,
because yesterday i was a bird.
Don't try to shape me with your mind,
i don't want to be you.
Don't try to shape me with your mind,
today i want to be shapeless,
And  If you don't try to shape me with your mind,
tommorrow i'll be something new.
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