you wanted me



         to change my idea of love
just so you could continue to do the same thing

I am grieving for a ghost without a grave,
His self is still surviving but his soul I could not save.
My medicine is the memories in my mind,
They weigh me down with worries, what ifs and whys.

Awhile after he left I hadn’t the need to fall nervous of the night,
Before it’s coldness cruelly cut my courage like a knife.
Gentle gravity, I grasped hold for anything he gave,
But he lacked the love, leaving me only with his lusting lave.

Yes, I know I should’ve walked into a colour without a shade,
This abuse approached me like abstract art arrayed.
Obviously these stars in the night will always outlive me and wring me out to die,
But I’m not going to let them get to me, no not this time.

But it's 3am, I captured the changes of advantage points in you.

This was not planned. You view the beautiful skyline above, when all I see is blue. Seeing through the naked eye occured rarely, with reflected risk.

Time is a mechanic, it still orbits our imaginations.

Something about you felt different

Like the way you fixated yourself on the passing building and shining stars from the car window. Sitting in the cold air-coned seats, that you still insisted were hot.

I just want to let you know that you won't have to watch me like those passing buildings.

I'm not passing by nor are you a pit stop.

And although stars may be blinding
I will always have an eye

For you.

yet, it's so hard for me to find the things i lost
in the clearest of blue waters
everytime i think i'll swim
i drown