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Carina Mar 2021
will you ever write about me? he asked

“honestly, i hope i won’t,” i explain
silence always rises,
as they never expect
the response i give them.
why not?

“because when i write about boys,
it tends to always mean
they didn’t just break my heart.
it means they shattered me.
writing is the way
i try and find those pieces
and begin to bring them back together.
so when i write,
i’m trying to move on
from a love i never
thought would end.”
i always assume they would
be smart and obvious by
promising me that would never happen
but instead, he said
then our story can be different.

and that is when i knew
i could write about him too.
Carina Mar 2021
i am grateful for more things than I can count,
but that’s not easy.

it’s so hard looking at things
in a positive way
through a teenager’s eyes.

everything at times
looks grey,
but there are those
moments that the colors
surrounding us are
so vibrant that
it’s overwhelming.

but there’s the nights where
your pillow is the
best friend to your
tears as you try to keep quiet.

or times where no one notices
you are even there.

times when you don’t have
the motivation to even do
the things you love the most.

but you’re not a starving kid in
Africa, right?

you have warm showers,
a great education,
and a roof over your head.

Why aren’t you grateful
for what you have? they say.

because we’re stuck inside our minds
and our society proclaims that if
you don’t have the
most friends,
you aren’t popular.


because our society
ensures our clothing
and piercings
are exactly who we are.

our grades are a label
to show exactly
how our minds work.

our parents are “still our
Mom and Dad” so what they
do has to be forgiven.

because our world,
is all we know.

we can be thankful for when
we sneak a new makeup
pallet into the cart without
Mom seeing.

we can be thankful when
our parents let us
replace our boot-cut
2000s jeans for ones that
are only half of the material
due to the amount of holes
but cost twice as much.

but what they don’t know
is some of us are thankful
for things they can not see.

some of us are thankful
for days that our parents
are in a good mood
and we mess up less.

for days where we can get
out of bed without
feeling all of the pain
suddenly rush over us.


some of us are thankful
for days that are just
less grey.

we just want days
of where we are grateful
to actually be alive.
Carina Apr 2020
while he was splashing
her with the river water
engulfing them both,
she felt content.
she didn’t know what
it was like to feel
truly happy,
even if it was only
just in that short moment-
as if the water conducted
his happiness directly
onto her,
seeping through her
caressed skin.

when he saw that
look in her eyes,
how they were truly
finally glistening-
he knew.
he wrapped her up with
not only his arms,
but the exaggerated smile
which lingered for what felt
like hours
that’s when she knew
she was going to
finally learn what
happiness is.
-so this is what peace feels like?
Carina Apr 2020
i still repeat your name
before i go to sleep
at night.
because maybe if i say
it enough,
the ghost of the old you
will haunt me
-because the new you is dead to me.
Carina Apr 2020
dear society:
why do you proclaim
ignorance is an easy
passage to popularity
jealousy is how to earn respect
tearing eachother down is
how to succeed
and caring takes you
on a route to failure
how does this establish
humanity when it is almost
inhumane
Carina Apr 2020
i can’t tell you
how many times
somebody has seen
my scars
and told me
that i’m not really
suffering
-just because of my age
Carina Apr 2020
your eyes touched me
before they even knew
what they wanted

they carved your desires into me
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