I was in love with saying yes. No I was in love with having a reason to . No I was in love with my reason to. I was in love with the 3am calls we shouldn't have been having , I as in love with the way you glided your finger tips across my skin as if it were you favorite place to be , I was in love with this new feeling, I was in love with love . My old best friend and a few others would tell you I'm in love with everything that moved, but they were false , I was in love with the way she moved , ever since we established contact I knew I'd have it bad , she's so so my type , the type that'll leave you in the morning but kiss you until sunrise, the type that makes you feel like you only have two days to live cause she's leaving when the weekends over , the type to take your heart and keep it , the type to offer it back knowing that it's exactly where you want it . I don't think she likes saying goodbye as much as we have big on site she's used to it , she was a professional at the games I thought I created, maybe that's why at 3am I'm talking to my self and at 3pm I'm still alone in a crowd full of people ,I've never felt the way I do about anyone else and I don't think I can, I was told tales of white walls where your only friends are the demons inside of you , well these white walls just turned black and I don't know what to do.

ice cubes crack once you pour a liquid over the top of them
you will
you can
you should
hear them crack if you are not too distracted by the sound of yourself cracking instead
maybe when you are pouring your favorite soda over ice straight out of the freezer you will hear it crack
but maybe when you are pouring your favorite alcohol or just any alcohol, probably not even the good stuff, because you finished that off last night and you haven't been going to work
you haven't been leaving your bed
you don't even remember what it feels like to leave your bed
so maybe you stopped hearing the cracking in the ice when you're pouring the only alcoholic, soul numbing, beverage you have left into a ***** glass because the dishes have been piling up for weeks and the only thing that even crosses your mind when you walk into the kitchen is who will clean the dishes once you're gone
but you've been gone and nobody even checks to see if the dishes should be done or if you might need more ice.

some nights I stay up way passed the time you fall asleep just to listen to whether you'll scream to get out of a hidden reality of if you'll moan fighting to stay in one.
some nights I'll be kissing down your chest, no matter how content you'll look, my hands still manage to tremble down porcelain skin like the first night I ever touched you. glancing up because you're a horrible liar with the most stunning eyes and unwelcome hands are nothing more nothing less they are unwelcome and to think my hands could do more harm than good and I could not even know it.
you are art work. you are a story.
everyone near you is always eager to know more, dig deeper, find out what pushes and pulses through your veins
curiousity didn't **** the cat, a greedy society killed the cat.
always begging to know more, thinking there's entitlement and deserving throughout their blood like what is yours is theirs for the taking.
I want to walk in the sun with you
I want to kiss each of your fingers over and over
I want to remain what you want but I know how unwanting makes you rain guilty, I will run before I become another bullet point on why you keep screaming

she drowned in blue everyday I swear whether it was her dress or her eyes she was swimming in it. maybe that's why nobody questioned it when they found her lifeless corpse sinking under the bluest waterfall in that town.

he used to love the color red, but once the storms hit, red changed from love to blood in a matter of seconds and go ahead ask him what his favorite color is, you'll never get an answer because she loved every color there was and he can't get the taste of rainbows on stormy days out of his mouth.

before I met you I had flood gates in my mind and a lock stronger than iron but you know you've always been a tidal wave with a thrashing determination to get your way
now I've got tsunamis every few hours because every thought is a wave without control and my mind has an occupation of its own

she can't stand makeup yet I always find lipstick down my clothes once she leaves and I can't tell if she keeps cutting her lips on my skin or someone else can't get enough of the way she feels beneath them.
the thought of your frozen hands running down somebody else's hips should make me cringe in disgust but I can't shake the feeling of not feeling anything even when your lips brush against my neck even when thoughts of you leaving take over my mind like a hurricane takes over a city
I can't shake the feeling that nothing actually matters, the universe is inside of me screaming that every person is their own star but stars are always fading and changing yet so were you and now I haven't held on to anyone like I loved them with every planet in my bones since.