it won't stop.
nothing will slow down
i ask for everything to just hang on, hold on a moment
please can you wait
just for a second

nothing ever does

so i pick
pick pick pick
pick pick pick pick pick pick
constantly
over and over and over over and over and over
and over
when that no longer satisfies the compulsion i bite down
longer, harder
until i taste blood

until it's over

at least, for now.

the blood pools at my fingertips
little red wells of humiliation

the pieces of skin collect at my feet
like a scattering of shame
a signpost of the turmoil i cannot contain

the girls around me look me up and down
whisper words of contempt and disgust

"freak"

torn and bitten, i curl into fists

the teachers stare quietly
unable to pass judgement, but the pity smothers me

"disturbed"

the urges are quiet
sated, satisfied

it's done

at least, for now

As talent drained from every inch of my mind
I found reading other's work only made me jealous
                   I started to feel unpopular
          Not enough ideas left to create anything at all. Not a single drop of inspiration.

      As all of theses emotions and realizations mixed together

I became okay with copying your work.

       I can imagine you slaving in the dark
Racking your brain to find the perfect words to finish the last line

       Lucky for me I have it all right here, completed and ready to post
     Finished and polished and prepackaged with a message I didn't think of but everyone will commend me for.




    *I hope you enjoy it.

He was the right person.
It was just the wrong time.