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May 2016 · 1.8k
customer service
Ben May 2016
my name's on the gold card she said
membership went straight to her head
told her *******
turned into a cough
smiled, said thank you instead
A limerick about my favorite place of employment
Nov 2015 · 1.5k
unpublished
Ben Nov 2015
silence
three quarters up
an excuse to leave behind
what i felt is worth
leaving this silence to forget itself
to forget that i ever
once wanted a smooth path
bricks lain out to find patterns
in the cracks
Nov 2015 · 480
on sleeping through class
Ben Nov 2015
fine line balancing act
a liquor jar tight
rope around my neck
i see clearly
i see double and
i choose to grasp at
the reflection in the glass
Nov 2015 · 548
11:10 pm
Ben Nov 2015
my muse sinks to five times filtered depths
that twist lemon, orange, sugar rimmed
five times distilled,
filtered depths
that fill half empty
                                 gin blossoms
                                 dry on ice
                                 shaken not stirred
                                 bruised, black eye
                                 ****** smile
seductively pouring from throat
through keeping thoughts straight
burning time will keep my heart from freezing
standing still while
words escape
me.
it's been awhile
Sep 2015 · 729
ameriquarium
Ben Sep 2015
living like goldfish, you do not understand that you can stop swimming
american line poem
Nov 2014 · 1.4k
Fibonacci
Ben Nov 2014
gold
thought
spiral
natural
golden thought cycle
god's natural infinite spiral
eye
burnished gold
tarnish
god's
cyclical thoughts
golden spiral
infinite growing
recurrent cycle
spiraling towards god's golden eye
circling nature's burnished cycle
Ben Nov 2014
phoebe will remain my hostage until
four barrel's hipster overlords hear my plea
we're all made of sparkledust and turkish delight
and if you hate drinking sonoma butter and
having money, my doctor Archmage Overlord
said the the "happy drink" element you seek is
less like strong coffee and more like the invasion
of normandy with turkey slaughter in the background

kfc's new turkey flavored chicken tried looking
for drugs in the neighborhood but
timothy leary, his suave excellency, sheik knight of nee
abstained from the devil's coffee with headaches and brain fog
anyway, that's why i attacked the
complimentary peanuts and russian balloon juice

FURIOUS POSTSCRIPT

"no one can understand the truth until
he drinks of the feline's frothy goodness"
flarf flarf flarf flarf flarf
Ben Nov 2014
A few good cocktail days with eyes on July
and a day legend born of money and men and
man, impossible reacher of the wide never and away
with the risky business of love of love of love
of outsiders, of lions and lambs and losin' it
tomorrow the sky taps the endless edge of thunder
shut the vanilla chronicles of tropic love and war
go report on all ages oblivion and the samurai protocol
the mission of a ghost, the worlds of the last magnolia vampire
the right color of rain, the interview of Jack the rock with a gun
Nov 2014 · 2.9k
Addict/Asshole
Ben Nov 2014
Addict.
electrifying
steel to skin, metal caress
most intimate touch
intoxicating
pleasure and pain mixing bold
sketching hearts on sleeves
exhibitionist
walking canvas, ****** art
permanent war paint

*******.
unhireable
regrettable decisions
just wait till you sag
appropriation
tribal skull, rose indian
meaningless symbols
rebellious act
futureless punk ***** loser
nine to five. conform.
perspective
sincerity
irony
Nov 2014 · 779
frostbite (goodbye feeling)
Ben Nov 2014
when you catch yourself staring out the window

eyes tracking snowflakes. counting the seconds.

searching for meaning in seasonal change

looking for patterns spiraling in any direction but
                                                                ­                                down

seeing the sky’s just ******* hallmark card covers

when it’s half past one and you’re

wishing
wishing
wishing for

that snow

to bury

the campus. the people. the ******* assignments.

in something so cold it stings your fingers into feeling
enough to dig out of self-inflicted snow drifts

in something so bright and white that it
washes the grey stains from your eyes

when you let it go let it go let it go
and sit on the slushy side walk – only frozen
but without the ******* feel-good Disney songs
that happily work out ever after
in the happiest place on earth
when you don’t even care enough to finish the poem.

don’t.
Nov 2014 · 4.9k
Christ Cheese and Sheep
Ben Nov 2014
In Spain -
where cheese-making stretches back
to centuries
is a medium sized lump of
Sweet ******* Christ

blessed is the ******
whose womb merited to carry
our small herd of
hand-milked cows
providing milk, cheese, butter, and ice

and to Christians,
the lamb is the symbol of when
the pope and all the christian leadership
will be succeeded by
Moo Jesus

The Good Shepard draws not milk
not liquid from his sheep
but
an overview over Greek pagan
and Christian pastoral deities

then Christ went and
made the exorcism and
he sold in town all his
rriegitha cheese, his curds, his milk

I mentioned that The Green Sheep
had an ad coming out
in the body and blood of Christ
how could the shepherds resist
the temptation?

I was refusing the sacraments
mysticism is cheese
Christ is cheese
better still,
mountains of cheese!

Is your cheese killing the planet?
The Wedding of the Dead:
Celebration and Restraint
Christ stopped at Ebola
first attempt at flarf poetry
Nov 2014 · 448
Friday
Ben Nov 2014
floating mid kitchen
with tiny bass beats
pulsing past plates
with orange razor lines
mixing to yellow green smoke
and swirling round my face
caressing touch
memory's ghost
Ben Oct 2014
focus needle sharp and glowing
piercing the rare white winter calm
of my mind at rest
like a ray of too bright to see sunlight
too hot to do anything but set
the edges of conscious thought ablaze
where they blacken and burn fast
curling inwards with steady flames
roiling over ashen fingers grasping at
the long forgotten Morpheus's throat
prying wide the sleeping god's eyes
fastened open by Prometheus's chains
Hades, Tartarus, eternal penance,
for bringing inspiration into this
dark human world
the price I paid in sleep for grades
Sep 2014 · 428
toke lly
Ben Sep 2014
it's during that awful time of semi-consciousness
while my mind is still riding that razor line
between this world and the one in my mind
where my soul lays bare to unflinching introspection
that my stomach clenches into a knot tied tight
my heart races then stops while lungs struggle for air
and every mistake i continue to make drags
their wretched ******* fingernails across my eyes
i recoil from my self sick of the battered skin i'm in
fighting the urge to choke on false hope and failing
while sickly sweet desperate promises for change
spill from my mouth like ***** past my cracked lips
and i know i'm still alive because i'm not dead yet
my own worst enemy
Sep 2014 · 1.3k
hopefully hopeless
Ben Sep 2014
i'll keep telling myself i'm fine till i'm dead
you can always improve yourself tomorrow
a fatal flaw - one i'm too comfortable with
to change on my own two feet, alone
but i keep jumping off bridges and hoping
that i don't hit my hopes on the way down
even underwater i'm hopelessly hopeful
#hope #hoping #hopeful #hopefully #hopeless #hopelessness
Sep 2014 · 295
me myself an i
Ben Sep 2014
it's an odd situation when you know that the only reason
you are not who you want to be, you are not really living
because you are the only one holding you back

why can't i write a story
why can't i find a girlfriend
why can't i stop drinking
why can't i motivate myself
why can't i stay in shape
why can't i matter

these thoughts run in circles around my head
laughing mocking taunting
and yet i know the answer
me myself and i

i'm so afraid of failure that i'll do nothing and fail
so i don't even have to try
Sep 2014 · 1.6k
what do i see?
Ben Sep 2014
a soft grey blanket flows through the peaks of green pines
silencing the celestial voice of the moon
while steel horses restlessly paw, panting gas fumes
the volleyball desert, at first glance barren
reveals a complex terrain of mountains and cigarettes
to the watchful eagle's eye
a wooden temple towers, built on artificial ground
cool stone poured into aesthetically pleasing islands
a forty square foot-print
a holy site of human ingenuity
with offerings from the clans of Miller and Busch
lying scattered like bones on the monolithic plain
anbaric lamps imitating miniature stars cast shadows at night
and the once vibrant world takes on unifying hues of blue
I guess the old adage that
"misery loves company"
is indiscriminate of nature
Sep 2014 · 263
Untitled
Ben Sep 2014
a slow death we've wished upon ourselves
Aug 2014 · 380
pretentious media
Ben Aug 2014
frost like spirits our ancestors tread
floating on footsteps made of ash
while silently razors like ice slip
slowly over ignorant heads
blood is the currency red running
like rust
burnt to the faces of old gods and new
copper the taste of air
burned in june
earth tones speak of untold guilt
my monthly dose of clIche
Ben Aug 2014
cars like comets roar past the
external edges of my solitary universe
while the circling bands of introspection and selfishness
obscure my point of view
the cold stone steps bring steadfastness and strength
while peaceful acceptance governs my mind.
living in the present brings presence and power
the grass is cool green and soft with dew
Aug 2014 · 418
jumper (a haiku)
Ben Aug 2014
the river flows swift
flanked by mossy monoliths
a single yell, splash
break from the stress of school starting with some good old fashion cliff jumping
Aug 2014 · 578
vent
Ben Aug 2014
shut down/falling through
the best laid plans of
prophets and poets
bear bitter black fruits
rotten from the core
to shining silver lining;
while the few remaining consequences
mean little to those without a conscience
consequently causing catastrophic
casualties of casual causality.

facking cahnts
Aug 2014 · 495
introsphere
Ben Aug 2014
i do my best soul searching while
cumulus colossuses ponderously trudge
under the last soft fire rays of a pastel sunset
with silver stars crowning the purple velvet horizon
and a mirror clear view up to incandescent heavens
all reminding me of just.
how small.
i am.

#introspective
Jul 2014 · 491
a blue feather illusion
Ben Jul 2014
why do we feel that
we must suffer for
an expected amount of time
in our moments of grief
(a masochistic belief)
before we feel like
our debt is paid to the
old gods of sorrow

when we can instead
simply choose to
just be


happy.
Jul 2014 · 650
stress (10w)
Ben Jul 2014
anger strikes like lightning but
thunder claps leave me confused
Jul 2014 · 332
hey
Ben Jul 2014
hey
music on nights like these
let me close my eyes and
see you by my side with
a smile on your face
lost in the way the beats flow  

I'm not just dreaming          

on nights like these

my heart feels

complete.
I miss you
Jul 2014 · 483
desert detox (a mirage)
Ben Jul 2014
do you know what it's like
to be bone dry thirsty
with every shimmering drink
at your eager fingertips
all there calling for just
                                             a sip
but this drink will slow you
and this helps to forget
while after a wetter while
the next one becomes daily  
                                                   habit
so you sit in the sand    
and suffer cracked lips
a peeling parched throat  
and the frayed ends of
                                            wit
fighting the urge of
      one
               little
                         sip
Ben Jul 2014
it doesn't seem that i can get high enough
                                                                          or low
to find a reason for b r e a k i n g this cycle
                                                        cycle          cycle
                                                                  cycle
of trying to become drinking buddies with my demons
or unconscious of the fact that i'm slowly letting my passions
                                               die.
i'm empty
on the ins
ide but at
least i loo
k ok.
Jun 2014 · 312
the pit
Ben Jun 2014
with flagging strength and weary conscience  
I struggle against these demons in this heavy heart
trying to keep this darkness at bay till a dawn
I'm not sure is coming
Jun 2014 · 9.3k
existential feline
Ben Jun 2014
a grey and orange ghost
slips unfettered between
this world and
a quiet place
of muted shadows
hidden
until eyes like marbles
blink into existence
and my cheshire kitten
slinks into my room
with no more whisper
than silk on glass
liquid
Jun 2014 · 7.3k
backyard ptsd
Ben Jun 2014
acid flashback in the trees
         frenzied branches feathered leaves
swaying seizing in the breeze
           forming shapes that his mind sees
scattered thoughts attention free
May 2014 · 591
campus side
Ben May 2014
the halogen moon hung hazy in a light polluted sky
reflecting dull on the brown olive pond
while bullfrogs rasp and croak a choked out love song
the heavy bass thump of passing metal cages
and riotous cacophony of undulating drunken laughter
drowned out nature's soft sighing whisper
  
I meditate for peace but only feel the unyielding concrete beneath my feet
the harsh sensory assault of a school that never sleeps
Apr 2014 · 2.1k
Lancelot and Guinevere
Ben Apr 2014
Lancelot ye golden knight fair
Through Love’s decree, with coy invite
Enthralled the fey Queen Guinevere

How soon ye forget your sins laid bare
The Sangrail truth, the Heavenly light
Lancelot ye golden knight fair

With comely looks, a swaggering air
The greatest of all earthly knights
Enthralled the fey Queen Guinevere

How easy to shun this dolorous affair
If ye honed instead your spiritual might
Lancelot ye golden knight fair

With glory from lands far and near
Ye took her heart and forthright
Enthralled the fey Queen Guinevere

Le Morte Darthur, the kingdom’s despair
Was sealed upon the doleful night
Lancelot ye golden knight fair
Enthralled the fey Queen Guinevere
for my Arthurian Lit class
Mar 2014 · 1.8k
unrequited affection (tanka)
Ben Mar 2014
dreaming for her wild
curvy moonlight flesh, hellbent
his touches consume

water rides across her lips
eyes obey dripping but dead
Mar 2014 · 996
the naivety scene
Ben Mar 2014
how foolishly we wasted those highschool nights with unspoken words and unbroken rules
pinning away for a once missed kiss on lips of best friends without a chance
how naive to think we'd have forever without a sunrise that the stars would never set on this dream
that smoke filled lungs would never burn and there would always be a better tomorrow
we wished to grow old not realizing that we'd want to grow young and never leave those carefree nights now found only in the whisper of the wind and the nostalgia in our hearts
when did I stop living in a dream
Feb 2014 · 650
nature meditation
Ben Feb 2014
I wish to gaze upon the unbound moon
floating freely above the night sky
from the secret spot inside my room
with wonder filled unblinking eyes

to whisper with the rustling leaves
and learn secrets of the forest old
caressed by the cool north breeze
enchanted by the stories told

I want to love with all my heart
the beauty found in nature's way
live every way to do my part
and treasure every sacred day
Jan 2014 · 407
college insomniac poems (1)
Ben Jan 2014
a constant fight against the mind
it lasts the whole night this time
may I be struck emotionally  blind
while trying to forget the rhyme
and reason caused gears to grind
I swear to god I'm ******* fine
I yell stumbling through this mine-
field of flaws, dozens for a dime
while my heart can't help but pine
for future love I have yet to find
Ben Jan 2014
it only takes a cold winter night
to remind me of the lost warmth
between two encompassing arms
a comforting circle of nostalgia
that only exists in memory and motion
sweet soft lips ghost memory of this
spent an eternal life seeking moonlight
to spend soft silver silk caressing the
heart of another soul; betray by kiss
and let me know by the swaying of
your hips that you found another lover
in the midst of all this mist
Ben Jan 2014
how adorably self-centered
over thinking the tiniest action
looking for the smallest flaw
creating where there were
none, not one at all

how incredibly oblivious
too concerned with the
inflection of your i love yous
than the meaning of it all

I understand you
Jan 2014 · 1.8k
escape (repost)
Ben Jan 2014
a halo of expanding hopes, dreams, and life

a crimson teardrop, tribute to the fallen one's strife

encircles the head of an angel without wings

a splash of color to these dark streets it brings



porcelain skin, cold as the night's bitter kiss

spiderwebbed with cracks, seeping cool mist

this angel was once a most beautiful thing

bright cut emerald eyes, hair black like raven's wing



the angel in past had lived, loved, and laughed

how tragic this scene, that it could not last

for the angel dreamed flying, to touch the moon

but these dreams awoke jealousy, plotting, and doom



you see, in the city where this angel did live
i
t was mechanical, heartless, and did not forgive

run by the hateful human machine who could not fly

confined to the earth in a rage it would cry



"who is this angel to be different from us?!"

hate did consume it like mechanical rust

it sought a way to grind her into the gears of the machine

"since she is not like us, we'll **** her will to dream"



with that they commenced to wicked dark things

captured the angel and cut off her wings

broken and torn, they left the angel to the dust

content to proclaim "she is now just like us"



but the angel could never assume human form

unable to fly, she could not weather this storm

the moon in the night sky, silver and fair

taunted her mind, dreams turned to nightmare



confined to the ground, humanity rotted her mind

great beauty now gone, with decay left behind

lost to the madness, driven to the edge

the angel, a mere shadow, stepped to the ledge



porcelain skin, cold as the night's bitter kiss

spiderwebbed with cracks, seeping cool mist

the angel looked to the moon, once loved, in the sky

stepped forth, and though wingless, for a moment could fly



for though the hateful human machine

had taken her will to live, love, and dream

it could never break her call to be free

the angel found an escape from this cruel place to be
Ben Jan 2014
my vices are devices to make myself stop
thinking of every which way life can go wrong
not to get ****** up funny it seems but to
try and live a happier life a better mind yet
at the rate I'm going it won't matter that I
don't remember my Saturday nights because
I'll be done by Sunday and my fears will be
put to bed
Jan 2014 · 2.1k
Cheshire Cat Country
Ben Jan 2014
my cat is my happy little shadow sometimes
winding through my legs room to room
purring like a diesel engine at rest
and the perfect reminder that you'll always always
be loved
Jan 2014 · 346
ex's and oh's a haiku
Ben Jan 2014
I am terrified
not for the first time
do you love this boy?
Jan 2014 · 2.6k
sexual frustration (a haiku)
Ben Jan 2014
voluptuous round
satin soft silky *****
******* i need laid
Dec 2013 · 668
longshot lover
Ben Dec 2013
i spent hours looking at engagement rings
trying to find the perfect one for you
imagining just how big your smile would be
when you found out it was true
best friends till the end and even then
our interests would carry on through
i'm living three years in the future
with love and best regards perfect pairs come in two
Dec 2013 · 1.1k
masochist
Ben Dec 2013
I don't sit well with happy
uncomfortable like a scab needing picked
or the way I can't say I love you
it gnaws at my stomach painfully
it ***** with my mind relentlessly
and leaves me feeling sick
I seek out pain like a ******
one hit was too much a thousand not enough
pawning my soul piece by piece
burning my body when there's nothing left
begging to battered bruised and
ever searching for a stronger dose
I can't sleep unless I'm hurting
or strung out stupid or drunk or
******* up my future trapped inside my head
I can't help but pick at sutures
just to keep on bleeding every good emotion
I thought I ever had
my heart it keeps on beat beat beating
tattered torn and full of holes
despite my best efforts to fail and fall
my hands they won't stop shaking
until I'm all run down and barely breathing
just staring at the cracked flaking wall
eating myself alive one memory at a time
self cannibalizing every comforting thought
burning mental bridges and savoring the smell
I can't stop thinking about death
but that would only stop these feelings
clutching at my broken mind
wishing it were broken glass
Dec 2013 · 876
the green fairy prayer
Ben Dec 2013
the green fairy visits
if only for a night
to soothe this troubled mind
and take away the strife
the minty taste of spearmint
and peculiar taste of fennel
play of tongue and mind alike
in passing and in action
a quick spirit burn and
the blurry edge of truth
shine a light on my emotion
and pass a pass for you
Dec 2013 · 620
skinchanger
Ben Dec 2013
the price we pay for beauty
sown in sweat and blood
etched upon our living skin
the uncomfortable art of
passion raw red will power
to sit and let it burn
pain is all in your head
god i want that tattoo buzz
Dec 2013 · 2.5k
alliteration crush
Ben Dec 2013
I...
     think...
                 I...
                      like...
                              
crazily chasing concocted crushes
however hasty high hopes
earnestly entangled erstwhile enthusiasm
left languishing limp lethargic
suddenly soundless stupidly selfish
every emotion enviously expectant
an abject apology absent

purposeful pleasure purportedly posed
unearthed unhealthy ungainly uncertainties
devouring devotion disgracing dogma
an accident awaiting arrival
Nov 2013 · 1.6k
wordplay (a haiku)
Ben Nov 2013
coy verbal foreplay
tastefully twisting two tongues
risque rhythm ...                          breathe
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