Perhaps it is time.
I'll go back and say hello,
And maybe they'll smile.

maybe the end is coming,
but for me,
i'm stuck in the long haul
feeling like i can't pick up my feet
time is dragging on
and it's dragging me forward
whether i like it or not,
the sun will set and i'll be in the dark,
again.

Please let me leave

Mountains have risen up
that I created
by leaving my clothes in a pile
by tossing my responsibilities upon it
by heaping insult upon injury
by throwing caution to the wind
and by washing my mind down the drain.


Just let me leave

Too many times have I yearned to breathe
to inhale without holding back
to take it all in
to smell the roses
to take a deep breath....
and then breathe it out
blowing dandelions
letting it all out
exhaling without care.


Let me go.

I've given up on so many things I cared about
Too many of them were important
and now I have no excuses
except that I lost hope
and I thought I couldn't finish
and I believed it wasn't worthwhile
and the pain was too much to bear
and I didn't believe it would get any better.


Can I go home?

Finals week is taking its toll,
and nothing can make this better
except a big comfy bed
a mother's embrace in the morning
a hot cup of coffee in pajamas
tv shows I loved as a kid
brothers to goof around with
a smoothie when dad gets home.

I just want to go home.

And now that you're dating someone else
I suddenly understand you:
Things that you did, words that you said,
Even when I withstand you,

I took you for granted, but from the first,
You always respected me.
You bothered almost everyone else,
But you knew when to stop with me.

You've always believed in me
I'm not sure how I deserve it;
Between us, I think now we're closer,
And I will strive to preserve it.

And as for wishing that you were with me,
I think I can leave that behind;
Probably friends is all we will ever be,
And right now, I don't really mind.

I hope you don't shy away from opportunities
And sometimes live in the moment, but don't take unnecessary risks and make avoidable mistakes

I hope you learn that it's okay to make mistakes and learn to enjoy learning new things, even if you aren't good at them

I hope you don't give up and miss a chance to see what you could have accomplished
However if you do, I hope you don't dwell, and instead move on, making the most of the door you've chosen- it may be better than you anticipated.

I hope you make new friends who will teach you and help you grow in the direction you need. Don't let your old friendships fade when time seems to be an obstacle.

Love and forgive yourself. You make mistakes. So does everyone else. I hope you won't take things so seriously and personally because you
are you.

Speaking of which, do you. Don't let yourself be ruled by others' opinions because in the end, shouldn't you be doing what you love, not what they do. That's for them; This is for you.

Give yourself to relationships making sure you invest in the ones you care about. Cut negative, unnecessary sources from you life. Learn to say no. There will always be that person, so you might as well learn how to do
it now.

But I want you to live. I want you to experience so much, realizing you only get to once. Try new things a least once. Listen to advice, decide if it's worthwhile. I hope you always do your best. Live like the movies and mimic the cliches, making sure you are original too. Let your heart beat and let yourself feel.

4/18/16

I'll hold on
until it doesn't make sense
and when you tell me there's no point,
I'll give you a reason to love
and to hold on.