This is how I feel...
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At the beginning of the week I had money in my drawer.
No there is no more.
Stupid young man.
Can't control his hands.
Needed to search my room.
Looked for the green bills.
******* now I'm broke.
This is very sad.
My brother robbed me.

God, that name hasn't killed me yet.
It just screams out regret.
I trusted you with everything.
And I obviously never meant a thing.
You helped me find myself.
Then you acted like somebody else.
You took away your pain.
You bowed down in shame.
You smoked and began to fly.
Fly higher than the sky.
Rarely were your eyes not glassy.
I though this whole mess was you being classy.
And to think I called you a brother.
Why even bother.
You were there when nobody else was.
Then you found a new buddy...
Drugs

She went on a trip.
Away in the state.
She went on a trip.
Away from contact.
I wait til she's online.
Then I message her.
I feel quite annoying.
I just really miss her.
I miss her a lot.
She is one of the only people I talk to.
Now what do I do?
She's not here.
Emily I miss you.
I want to know how it was.
It looks like you had fun.
Whenever you get the time let me know.
I really miss you just letting you know.

Depression watches me.
Waiting for the ****.
Depression tugs me under the waves.
Under the waves of the grey sea.

Depression holds on tight.
Wraps its arms around me.
It wispers in my ears.
Rocks me to sleep every night.

Depression is listening when I cry.
It drys the tears from my cheeks.
It encourages me to sleep.
It tells me when I should die.

Depression stares as I fall over the edge.
Depression talks in my ear.
Says sorry my dear.
I pushed you off the ledge.

And now depression made me dead.

My body freezes.
My airways weezes.
I am pushed away from a deep sleep.
On so deep that my insides weep.
Upon waking up its hard to move.
Nothing I can really do.
So I lay here and stare.
Unable to move even if I dared.
Stuck here for minutes at a time.
Staring up at the roof hiding the sky.
Unable to let tears leave my eyes.
Here I stay unable to cry.
In a deep deep comma like state.
Here I lay here like a fish on a plate.

The way I deal with my problems.
It isn't the best way.
Sneaking out to get the things I need.
Coming back high and unable to think right.
Yeah the street lights are blurs.
It's how I deal with losing her.

The way I deal with my problems.
Isn't always the right way.
I get in fights a lot.
The pills make me manic.
I no longer take the ones that calm me.
Instead I chose to stay up high.
Until I crash real low.
That's how I deal with losing her.