an excerpt of 'Things Fall Apart', poem #68 from volume 3 of The Hollywood Hearts Trilogy (THHT3)

...My psyche has become,
an eclectic collection of past relationships,
a combination of all the feelings any stranger has ever felt,
along with all the feelings of every girl I ever had relations with,
I still feel each one of them inside, they are a part of me,
exchanged a part of myself with everyone I’ve ever slept with,
this, is, way beyond our control, slaves to the physical,
maids made from the momentary expressions of souls impulse,

here on planet earth, none of this is rehearsed,
no seats are reserved everyone thinks but no one is sure,
no one wants to play along if the DJ’s not playing a song,
when the music ceases to sound we sit down where we are,
in hot seats & Musical Chairs not prepared to be served,
but so what, who one cares if you’ve prepared,
or what you’d prefer, you know what, it’s inconsequential,
because regardless of preference you’re gonna get served,
& rest assured you’re gonna get served what you deserve,
& you’re gonna eat what you’re served, no alternative,
& guess what the ticket you grip decides what you’re severed,
at the table as has been actors with ADD act inattentive,
they stammer can barely remember the words they’ve learned,
forgetting their manners & forgetting their words,
a prima donna Rick Dalton Once Upon a Time in Hollywood,
at times can be theatrically awkward, but I give you my word,
every thing is real, life’s a trip, from thee Benz to thee hearse,
from the sands & the dirt to a towering mountain top perch,...

THHT3
9/9/19

instagram @aaronlalux

Lost,
amongst the chaos, caught outside with a long way to go,
calm,
within the center, inside everything comes 360° full circle,

call it a circle but it’s more of a spiral,
careful don’t want to hurt you when I go ******,
but the truth is the first rule of nature is survival,
chaos outside crack pipes alight demoralized fools act suicidal,

see healing can help but it can also hurt you,
especially if you forget your virtues,

trust me you must be occasionally criticized passionately,
for acting out irrationally if not you’re not living your truth,
too caught up in your own closed captions to actually,
see passed the rose glasses that skews your worldview,

out past curfew brazenly making your way merrily,
down that yellow brick road until you stub your toe I told you,
healing can hurt you if you forget your virtues,
still you choose to refuse the truth shown in your own show,

okay your choice to choose now without further ado, the news,

this just in, we’re all caught in whirlpools,
drains all clogged with heirlooms,
energy vampires virgule our virtues,
as slashed wrist fill bathtubs, pills lay on pillows in bedrooms,

these cities are pretty venues for gritty citizen cesspools,
sporadic & magic with hearts as dark as our issues,
no Jim Henson only thuggish muppets wretched henchmen,
puzzled puppets & sketchy Skeksis from The Dark Crystal,

it’s a bizarre & awkward Little Shop of Horrors,
a smorgasbord of unordered  hors d’oeuvres served cold,
& you’re confused of course because you didn’t order more,
plus it smells horrible oh well it’s only the first course,

anyways what’s on the menu today,
in this Showroom AKA Stolen Souls Salesroom’s display,
****** Nephews that resist rescue,
plus a side of drunken Lethargic Legume pate,

in other words intoxicated obnoxious Obscene Family Beans,
that are nostalgic for forgotten things that’ve long gone away,

& what have you on menu #2,
Locobutt Coconuts, crazy nuts Loony Tunes that lack values,
in other words hardheaded tropical crazy assed loons,
animated guys that apply topical gravy acid to cashews,
excuse me, did I offend you is that why you gave your opinion,
well opinions are like ******* & I’m sorry but I didn’t ask you,

I’ll harass you, if I want to, & harass her *** too,
I’m lampooned, lampin’ on a lagoon in a pontoon,
going gorillas, with my baboons in the full moon,
hope to not get harpooned too soon high as a kite at high noon,

call me Sun, or Sultan,
everyone is overdone, it’s insultin’,
brainwashed, & super spun,
the buzzer buzzed, the ***** laundry’s done,

hang it out to dry in the breeze,
air it out the window for everyone to see,
then look up at the sky, & tell me what you see,
one life at a time out here in San Franpsy, thunder & lightning,

here in San Franpsy, the sky, has a reddish haze,
smoke from Ukraine, magic mushrooms & acid rain,

we have all types of weather here in San Franpsycho,
slash your wrists just to check your vitals,

San Franpsycho, ******, psy-trance,
that Psy guy, with his Gangnam dance, dance monkey dance, strung out junkies, self made flunkies,
& 3rd rate rejects with a 2nd chance,

computer programmers,
digital techno gods,
programming the New World Order,
Zuckerberg & Steve Jobs,
& yeah the equation is way off,
but somehow we’ll even the odds,

even when Silk Road is taken down,
at the public library by out of town Federal Agents,
the caterpillars still make silk from mother’s milk,
still there are celebrations without any occasions,

from Hiroshima to Fukushima,
laughter from the hyphy hellish hyenas,
belly of the Beast ****tting out diarrhea,
hey anyone have any memories for my ongoing amnesia,
or maybe some anesthesia for this creative creature,
jeez I can barely breath I need to leave but,
I’m disorientated deliriously stumbling around this arena,
where I was just served a subpoena to answer to Jesus,
but I’m not ready to leave just yet, enjoying the scenery bruh,
we’re all portraits portrayed in The Great Life Galleria,

& I’m enjoying the show laughing madly like the hellish hyenas,
tip toeing on eggshells a tipsy bombed out bombshell ballerina,
as if it’s all good ‘cause I haven’t seen a real life Hiroshima,
washing down a divine diva’s cleavage,
with medical marijuana margaritas,
shouting out “Eureka”, struck gold & made a deal with Jesus,

Christ, or Jackson,
like Mike, or Michael,
The mirrored man is the boogieman, nothing’s normal,
****, it all goes down in San Franpsycho,

thee end, is coming soon, do what you have to for survival…

They say, thee end’s coming soon,
thought there was more to say,
really though,
how much more can we say?

Lost,
amongst the chaos caught outside with a long way to go,
calm,
within the center inside everything comes 360° full circle...

from THHT3: Dark Lights | Bright Shadows
available worldwide: 9/9/19

an excerpt from THHT3: The Hollywood Hearts Trilogy Vol. 3

...See she says if we have *** she’ll feel guilty & regret it,
I don’t want to be one of her regrets, so I get gone to prevent it,
apparently she associates *** with trauma from her past,
& I don’t want to open old wounds because I’m sensitive,

still my sentiment makes me ask this,
since when, did our past begin to define us,
when it’s always been our present destiny that we manifest,
I don’t know I guess sometimes we forget & have to remind us,
that we angels albeit fallen & all of us are Heaven sent,
& sometimes only moments like this are where we truly find us,

that scent, on your skin, mixes with the wind,
sending signals, to my brain, to release serotonin,
sea breeze, coconut trees, please jeez I’m on my knees,
I’m ready, & willing to start when you are, just say when,

still, my sentiment makes me ask this,
since when, since were names so inappropriate,
Scarlet’s a darling sure, but far from a harlot that’s my word,
so far that actually she abstains, resisting like a soviet,

since when,
were you so absent from class that,
you forgot the basic fact that,
all women are divine even when abstinent,

honestly I’d rather be,
laying in this hammock with a Goddess that’s abstinent,
than rubbing while clubbing,
getting used by a drunken **** that will soon be a has been,
a has been that can’t get a reaction not even a fraction,
nope I want a genuine artist, not a bad act with bad actin’,

I want laughter I want rushes,
I want her because with her all of that comes in bunches,
her inner instinct is distinct,
& is much more than just what a hunch is,

a hunger for wonder, what’s for lunch kid?

Let’s have a picnic this instant & then get down to business,
actually let’s scrap the deal & forget all about business,
let’s get up let’s rise like the tides & ride like the winds,
let’s make some magic & let God be our witness,
we’re in this, no limits, no gimmicks, no scrimmage,
no cynics, no stupids, no skeptics, no septic, no sewage,
no sadness, no losers, no handcuffs, so tragic, the truth is,
that abusers, abuse but, their tactics, are average,
so when, they attempt it, we just shut down, that madness,
make them, step back, back track, & send them packin’,
& once they realize what’s happened,
they retract & shoot back with,

“I’m so sorry, jeez, please accept my apologies,
I didn’t mean, to try to take all of your Light Energy!”,
ok we hear them plead,  but don’t accept their pleases,
we tell these fickle fleas, “I think it’s time for you all to flee!”,

peace, & their gone, along with the whispers in the wind,
& we’re in the hammock again,
Scarlet & I still off our mark & still high as ever,
gone like the wind our world continues to spin,
distracted by our addictions which is apparent,
from the scars we’re wearin’ in the body we’re currently in,

with red eyes, no bullseyes, no bullsh!t, just straight facts,
think about the best thing you could ever do in your life,
& rest assured we’ve been there & done that,
all true in all ways in other words this’s all correct,

from Venus to Mars with,
a darling named Scarlet,
she leaves an imprint on my soul,
though with no crayon nor marker, she uses her armor,

no mark, no start, no finish,
no gimmicks, just livin’ this life we live that we live to the limit,
with words that are true in all ways in other words all fact,
we progress in order to obtain a peaceful coexistence,...

∆ LaLux ∆

THHT3: The Hollywood Hearts Trilogy vol 3
available worldwide 9/9/19

She’s so beautiful,
she’s such a Passion Magnet,
that even though I know she can not be owned,
I still want to call her my own so anytime I want I can have it,

so precious our time together is,
that I don’t take a moment for granted,

still she’s so humble,
that even though she is all powerful she doesn’t know it,
she’s the most modest Hottest Goddess I’ve ever witnessed,
so when she let’s me in I take the chance & hope I don’t blow it,
she’s everything I’ve ever wanted, best love I’ve ever made,
if she’d accept my proposal, I’d propose to her this very today,
I’d get on my knees & ask for her hand with a ring,
I’d give her my word, give her her space, & I’d give up the game,

but none of the what ifs that may happen after even matter,
because when we’re together everything else vanishes,
these words become unheard irrelevant meaningless chatter,
we become a phenomenon of amorous rapturous happiness,
whereupon all our wrongs are gone. the only song is laughter,
& all that exists is an ambience of virtuous everlasting bliss,

as her seas swell she yells,
flooding the lands of this one man island,
going off without a pause she digs in her claws,
shivering gleefully delivering repeatedly oceanic *******,

& as she does I let go & give up my whole self as an offering,

I let her have her way with me, we literally make love for hours,
uncensored, this is not for amateurs or minors,
this is grown & **** pheromones exercising exciting instincts,
this is not for idiots or cowards,
it takes courage & strength,
to let yourself be so open & vulnerable,

& after the session is done I propose to her,

“Fck it run away with me, let’s go all the way,
let’s create our own world where we are untouchable,
I’ve got the funds to pay if you’re ready to run away,
seriously let’s create our own kingdom it’ll be wonderful.”,

to this she turned to me & in our post-*** sweat she said,
“But Aaron we just met I’m not so sure I mean I don’t know.”,

to which I said, “Izzy I get it but please trust your self,
take a few moments to meditate on it & listen to your soul,
let us hold onto these moments of bliss together,
& let’s let everything else just go.”…

∆ LaLux ∆

THHT3: The Hollywood Hearts Trilogy vol. 3
available worldwide: 9/9/19

All those years worn,
you never did make it outta The Valley,
all those feature film premieres, never did land a starring roll,
or get any recognition, let alone an Oscar from The Academy,

all those foggy eyed groggy times,  you were probably high,
all those checks you cashed, for your non refundable time,

waking up one day, wondering where it all went,
driving a car with a lease more expensive your apartment’s,

still stuck in that same apartment, off Ventura Blvd.,
still a B-List actor ******* that A-List ****,
still getting haircuts from stylist, still racking up milage,
got more clothes in your closet than dollars in the bank,

& in the end after it’s all said & done & all the time is spent,
& you’re finally spent, what’ll you have left to show for it all?

All those years worn,
spent suspended in mid air, baking in The Valley,
all those times you attended, those feature film premieres,
still no recognition, let alone an Oscar from The Academy..

∆ LaLux ∆

from The Hollywood Hearts Trilogy Vol. 3:
Dark Lights | Bright Shadows
9/9/19

I'm letting it all go, telling it like it is in Hollywood. This book is the one. Get it, or if you can't afford the $3, let me know and I'll buy it for you.

Even though these hills have eyes, they can still feel real lonely,
when perceived from these crystal castles that we’ve built,
above plastic palm trees, these people can seem real phony,
when seeing the bogus smiles shown through their botox lips,

clasping the latest fashion handbag accessory,
having every material possession that’s any sign of wealth,
grasping at anything that adequately fakes actual authenticity,
slowly rolling Bugattis casually, got good credit but bad health,
possessing a staggering abundance of plush slush funds,
but lacking anything that has any real substance of self,

& I see it all so well, from my place up in the hills, that it’s felt,
it hurts because most only care about vanity & nothing else,

meanwhile back in my life I rise when the sun sets,
I get up with the dark moon feeling like a cartoon protagonist,
acting on set in a surreal scene out of tune & out of character
other actors are acting too, but they’re just talking ****t,
over eager underachievers with with no directive or narrative,
these amateurs are irritating don’t know why I put up with it,

why’d I come down from my house in the hills,
I’ve got nothing to prove, the truth always comes to the light,
especially when everyone’s gone home, & I’m alone,
poolside view wide, just Me Myself & I,

I wish I had something extra epic to say here,
I want to change the world by writing the perfect verse,
hoping if I get my 10,000 hours in I’ll master my craft,
state the perfect fact & finally get the respect that I deserve,

& maybe, just maybe, by doing so I’ll be able to successfully,
change this world for the better before it gets any worse,

sure is cold up here, staring out this window with a view,
sure is cold in here, heart burning up inside trying to stay cool,
guess it’s all just point of view, even though my view is skewed,
as distorted as it might be, it still appears to be my truth,

& it’s got a beautiful view too, no pretendin' it’s tremendous,
here I write all my truth, to you, dedicated to these lifelines,
like Santiago in Hemingway’s The Old Man & The Sea,
till my sun sets in Sun Valley so tired been running for lifetimes

running & writing,
& writing, & writing, & writing, & writing,

trying, to create the cure for society’s ills,
like The Cancer Research Institute or AEBi in Israel,
replying, to fill, every lost soul that writes me their will,
lost souls, in these lost hills, that got everything except healed,
sand castles in the sand, wash away with waves & are rebuilt,
in a house on stilts, which sits on the hill where it was built,
in a room with a view, where I see everything except for myself,
stairs, ascend down, sun down, stare out, see the full town lit,

lazy lights twinkle,
like the fallen stars they hold,
success & failure both only a stone’s throw away,
so I suppose that’s just the way it goes,

bones, buried under this scorched earth,
infidels on Indian burial grounds,
deaths televised live with no attention paid to still births,
& yeah that’s the truth, & yeah the truth hurts,
but karma’s got a way of catching up with us no need to rush,
we all get what we deserve sooner or later for better or worse,

& since that’s the case I’m just going to stay here at my place,
in the hills where I hide from the world & I write my poetic will,
even though up here it sometimes gets so cold,
my heart feels like it’s froze, going to explode & I get the chills,
wondering if my death will go unnoticed if I die tonight,
but someone’s always watching in this city so I doubt it will,

see these hills have eyes, still they can still feel real lonely,
when perceived from these crystal castles that we’ve built,
above plastic palm trees, these people can seem real phony,
when seeing the bogus smiles shown through their botox lips…

∆ LaLux ∆
THHT3
9/9/19