She cries during ***,

a set of collective regrets expressed,
see at least you still have some emotions left,
in a world that’s gone cold,
and most people stumble around like the walking dead,

no Norman Reedus or Andrew Lincoln though,
just an aborted fetus and a broken heart with no treatment,
at the bar with a babe drinking,
till I get assassinated at a theatre like Abe Lincoln,

feeling like I’m in a real life Soap Opera drama,
the way I get caught up in these women’s feelings,
one minute she’s laughing the next minute she’s crying,
she apologizes and I tell her she never has to apologize for her feelings,

at least she still feels things,
says she’s been ***** before,
so when I go rough with her she gets flashbacks,
and it’s hard to face facts that have happened before,

I tell her it’s okay,
I tell her she can tell me anything,
I tell her sometimes it helps to communicate,
but she clams up and doesn’t say anything,

so I get up and go to the shower,
to try and wash off the stress,
moments later she comes in and joins me,
somewhere between sedated and upset,

at a hotel somewhere in Tulsa,
a hotel that they call boutique,
but it feels haunted and a bit spooky,
the wind howls and the floors creak,

and it gives me the creeps,
because in a way this hotel feels like me,
all nice and hip and trendy on the outside,
but inside everything is not what it seems,

haunted from the drama of these girls that were abused,
that then decided to transfer that energy to me,
which I in a way deserved because I used to serve,
this sort of abuse out to girls that thought they were into me,

you get what you give which is exactly what karma is,
so now I’m trying to help heal the Collective Feminine,
from all the damage that’s been done,
by the Collective Masculine,

so go ahead,

smash your conflicts into me,
drown me in the ocean of the the tears of your traumas,
scream shout let it all out until there’s nothing to let go of,
I love you unconditionally continually no menopause or commas,

no mental pause or drama,

you are an incredible creation,
resilient and brilliant,
and I am hear to be a platform,
if you’re in distress I will be your outlet,

so you can vent the stress,
even if that means crying during ***,
and I will be here to hear everything you need to express,
a Living Light in this world of The Walking Dead,

so it’s okay if you cry during ***,

a set of collective regrets expressed,
see at least you still have some emotions left,
in a world that’s gone cold,
and most people stumble around like the walking dead,

no Norman Reedus or Andrew Lincoln though,
just an aborted fetus and a broken heart with no treatment,
at the bar with a babe drinking,
till I get assassinated at a theatre like Abe Lincoln…

∆ LaLux ∆

Tulsa, OK.
2019

one helluv a diet,
one helluv a life,
you should try it,
I been through a way lot,
won’t tell no lie and,
I know we all have our addictions,
so pick and choose then win or lose,
complex equations with simple additions,
it sounds like a contradiction I know,
but poetry switched from fake to Non-Fiction,
at least it did when speaking of rows,
of the classification it was given,
by outside observers observing,
that never deserved to acquire,
to get what we got from a lot of giving,

it takes dedication to make it,
it takes love to rise above,
everything feels cliche anyways had a dream then woke up,
and now I feel like it’s all about love,

even though the dream was mostly nightmare,
could feel everything before my sleep when I awoke I was numb,
still had feelings when I went to sleep then arose & found I couldn’t feel a thing,
woke up feeling hot even though I went to bed feeling cold stressed out I try to ohm,

don’t care where your from,
or where you’ve run from,
I wanna know where you’re at,
there’s so many shades of The One,

there’s one two sides of a gun,

what,

what can you call me,
what can you call yourself,
I’ll tell you what just for the fck,
let’s just say all bets are off,

hardy ha ha,

feels like a joke everyone’s laughin’,
but it’s really not at all,
send a lot of texts,
but don’t get a lot of calls,

Call of The Wild is our Call of Duty,
call it what you will,
at the end of the day it will all be explained anyways,
so for now let’s just bounce,
get out of town,
get up out of Dodge and settle down,

maybe homestead a bit,
I’m a God not a Dog,
you’re a Goddess not a *****,
Keep Calm & Carry On,

Settle Down settle in,
find a home to keep warm,
remember to breathe,
and be both kind & strong,

keep on keeping on,

******* & Bonebroth for breakfast,
one helluv a diet,
one helluv a life,
you should try it…

∆ LaLux ∆

San Franpsycho
February 2019

Attempting to make the memories,
of these moments last longer than the moments themselves,
but at the end of the day I’m just a loner with some poems,
because we all lose everyone close to us including ourselves,

what the Hell,
what the Heaven,
running out of Time and into Luck,
what an interesting combination,

they say,
necessity is the “mother of all invention”,
but I’m a ******* child running wild,
so I have no mother nor father at least not that I care to mention,

only have the pen when,
writing these verses constantly,
that and the accompaniment,
of the associated memories,

feel like all of this was meant for me,
which reminds me of a saying they have in India,
“You’re always where you’re supposed to be because that’s where you are.”,
I couldn’t have said something so complex any simpler,

simply speaking pause,
take a moment to spell the flowers,
simply speeding past,
sometimes it feels like I have more lifetimes than I do hours,

which I guess makes sense in a sense,
because time is only relative anyways,
and there’s no way something so omnipresent can be explained,
in a way that’s so linear in it’s emphasis,

anyways where was I with this,
this poem about nothing in particular,
well I guess I was as in am,
on a plane south of the equator,

passing over New Zealand,
also known as Ateorora,
still attempting to make sense of this,
of all the sounds and the colors,

still attempting to make the memories,
of these moments last longer than the moments themselves,
but at the end of the day I’m just a loner with some poems,
because we all lose everyone close to us including ourselves…

∆ LaLux ∆

Nelson, New Zealand
Jan 18th, 2019

Overcommitted to this life that we’re livin’,
got no choice but we’ve got a voice and we use it,
See in the Book of Life every life has it’s sentence,
to communicate the truth that we move with,

hats of to The Inventor,
I’m doing time paying mind paying dues and doing fine,
lost in the Splender,
of this Life that for now is mine,

and yours,
and sure,
blurs,
from the lines for sure,
or rather,
the lines blur oh sir,
please there’s no need to be so formal,
as ease as you were,

no cure,
no prevention,
no honor,
no mentions,
okay some honor,
some honest intentions,

but not always honest intentions,
what’s worse the user or the invention,
the consumer or the corporation,
personal or business relations?

The plot thickens,
the ***’s steamin;,
let’s eat let’s break bread,
please pass a fork a knife and a napkin,

what’s happin’,
we’re all on the boat but there’s no captain,
it’s madness I can’t even speak about it out loud,
so I write it down even when I won’t admit it happened,

hear no evil see no evil don’t even make eye contact,
it’s like they’re all on drugs it’s both cliche and ironic,
and the irony is all these things that were once free,
cost as the debt from the profit continues rising,

“Excuse me Sir,
but how do you expect to pay for this Karma?
Credit or cash,
because nobody pays with checks anymore.”,

or checks anymore,

or pays attention,
can’t say the world has always been honest to us,
but I can say that we’ve always had honest intentions,
and honesty it’s always been an honor to be us,

in all our committed excellence,
it’s an amazing balance to be both involved and unattached,
a labor of love an adventure a sense,
it’s being an an incredible team of strangers and you’re up to bat,

overcommitted to this life that we’re livin’,
got no choice but we’ve got a voice and we use it,
See in the Book of Life every life has it’s sentence,
to communicate the truth that we move with…

∆ LaLux ∆

SF
2019

At the Indigo getting into it with an Indigo,
in Tulsa or at least en route after one more round in LA,
stuntin’ in The Land of Abundance all real no frontin’,
can get anything I want except getaway,

and this all feels totally cliche,
spending time but got no time to waste,
already at redline trying not to flatline,
catching up to made up deadlines and keeping pace,

trying to lose the stress without losing my mind,
trying to win the hearts and convince the minds,
trying to do everything without having to try,
only do and do not do you like you buy,

welcome to America,
consumerism on steroids,
where we empty our pockets to fill up our closets,
empty hearts with souls for sale anything to fill the void,

everything that was ever made sacred was destroyed,
now we’ve got black artists on the radio making white noise,
where are our idols how are we supposed to look up to anyone,
but sometimes I feel like there’s no escape and I have no choice,

so I buy in in order to not be left out,
get the girl get the clothes get the hotel room,
but really I don’t feel like any of this is mine,
plus I’ve got a place to be so I should go soon,

so long farewell,
I bid you my Love good day,
but before I go let’s go one more round,
for Old Time’s sake before I make my escape out of LA,

at the Indigo getting into it with an Indigo,
in Tulsa or at least en route after one more round in LA,
stuntin’ in The Land of Abundance all real no frontin’,
can get anything I want except getaway…

∆ LaLux ∆

And there she goes again,
gone like the future memory she once was,
before we met and I didn’t yet,
know she was the one I was wishing for,

oh well,
I guess we all go eventually,
so appreciate the moments while you have them,
because they all go eventually,

in my own penitentiary,
prisoner of my own restrictions,
but whatever maybe I’m better off locked in here,
alone with only my personal addictions,

but even here there are contradictions,

because I want to be alone at the same time home,
somewhere with here where we can spend time,
because time is the most valuable thing we can share with others,
it’s the only thing we can’t make more of and I’m I’m,

I’m trying to remember what it meant to be with someone that meant something,
I’m trying to remember the place the name the scent the feel,
but all I remember is that all the details are long forgotten,
and all I remember is the memory of remembering her back when things felt real,

and just when I think I’m about to recover the lover I lost forever,
she goes again gone like the future memory she once was,
before we met and I didn’t yet,
know she was the one I was wishing for…

∆ LaLux ∆

New Zealand
January 2019