When I lay in silence
When I sit in the dark
My thoughts race
My head so loud
I feel my heart
Beating so hard
Needles pierce my chest
It’s hard to breathe
The world is spinning
I feel strangled
My lips are quivering
Tears break past my eyes
My hands are shaking
Simultaneous pain
Head and heart
Drowning dizzy
I’m alone
Anxious

Joy conceived in the vision
The Lily of the drought
Volunteer of the incision
And a seed of doubt

Black silky Intertwined threads
The touch and sound of care
Love, warmth, comfort spreads
Your intensity in all rare

Infinite options hang above
Spinning a smoky vortex
Simply what you hate or love
Discombobulates my cortex

Only clues to a mystery
Yet partials of a masterpiece
Less of shortened history
Wonder moves me not to cease

I fully hate you.
No questions to my detest.
Why am I here though?

I lived through my mistakes
I lived through the stress
I lived through the aches
I lived for success

I lived in moments of joy
I lived in optimism
I lived innocent yet coy
I lived through criticism

I lived and showed love
I lived and showed fear
I lived in belief of above
I lived a life unclear

I died because I was tired of all that came with living

Bitter tasting sip
Or a sweet and creamy glaze.
Black cup or cool whip?

Tears wash down a face.
A heart drowned infinitely.
The barrel in place.