I tried not to let go,
But she slipped through my hands.
I didn't realize I was against the flow,
Unable to adjust to the shifting sands.
Now, I sit in this emptiness longing to see her again.
I miss her presence,
Like the barren land misses the summer rain.
I want to drench in her essence
And feel alive.
She has been drained out of me.
I regret going against the tide.
There was so much that I wanted to see.
Adventures I wanted to share,
Of deserts, mountains, and the sea.
Tell her that I care
And know if she cared about me.

Oh Life, I miss you!
I realize as I sit here in my agony.
I am sorry for all I made you go through.
It is such an irony!

Because as a kid, all I wanted to do was grow up.
I could not value you when I had you.
Now, you have left and I miss you.

Oh life, I miss you in my agony.
I am smiling in my sadness,
It is such an irony!

I need a fix
I'm going low
Without a hit
I'll get sad
And who's fault's that?
Give me a fix
Or I'll go mad

It's Dopamine I need

So click on 'Like'
No. Better still,
I'd love your 'Love'
It's such a thrill.
I'll feel better for
a 'Comment', or two.
a fix like that
would see me through the day.
The more you give
the happier I'll become

It's Dopamine I need

Give me a fix
I need it bad
If you 'Follow' me
I'd be so glad
You reward me
with this Happy Drug
I'll reward you
with a verse or two.

In the hope this drug flows both ways
Lets be Happy together.
So for both of us
just give me Dopamine

Mother tell me,
who do your eyes meet in the mirror?
wolf woman wife
little girl
and perhaps ghost.
Caddy did you love them
yes
yes but when they touched me I died
yes but when they touched me I died and was resurrected because a woman dies but comes back another just a change of costume so we can walk in our shadows and strut and fret again.
 
mother why is the mirror always blurry,
and why are the rooms all empty in this body
fortress sanctuary
that is made by the magic of transformation
Caddy the rooms may be empty but can’t you hear the music?
bird in a cage,
and its songs about longing to feel human.

i am a bird,
born to fly,
you can't cage me,
i am a woman,
may seem fragile,
but you can't break me.......

Hey you.
Yeah, you.
You're newly 14, I'm newly 16.
Here is my advice to you.

I know you're broken.
I know you're tired.
I know you're hurt.
And guess what?
You will still be broken, tired, and hurt.

****'s pretty tough right now, yeah?
Well, boy do I have news for you.
It's only going to get more difficult.

Remember when you said you'd never cut
because the thought made you sick?
Well, a year later, you can guess what happened.
Don't worry, you've been clean for a month.

If there's anything you should know, it's this;
Stop trying to do everything yourself.
Stop lying to Mom, and stop thinking that Dad is mean.
They really do love you, trust me.
And if you don't trust anyone else, at least trust yourself.

Please talk to Mom.
Don't shut yourself away in your room.
Spend time with her while you still can.
You don't know it yet, but...she only has a few years left.
Make those years the best of your life, not the worst.
You don't know it yet, but she won't see you graduate college.
She won't see you get married, or open your first art gallery.

Don't procrastinate on those essays.
Putting them off won't get rid of the fact that you still have to write them.
While we're on the topic, be more open with your teachers.
Don't let them call you the wrong name because it makes things "easier".
Tell them who you are.
They will accept you.
They have to accept you.
It's against the law for them to discriminate.

More than anything, don't be afraid.
Don't be afraid to be who you are.
Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself.
Don't be afraid to try. new. things.

And on a sadder note, yes, you did eventually attempt suicide.
You still haven't even told your friends yet, you're afraid that it'd break them.

Don't focus too much on the worst parts.
You will move on from that toxic relationship.
You will be able to love again.
Although, you will always still flinch.
That may never go away.

The path you're on is filling with ***-holes, bumps, and steep hills.
Keep trudging on.
You were never one to choose the easy route.
Hell, life didn't even give you an option.
But I know that you're determined.
I believe in you.

Know this;
You might not think so, but you're very important.
If you can't live for yourself, live for your friends.
They need you.
I need you.

Keep your head up kid.
It's going to get tough.
But you're pretty tough too.
In the meantime, stay alive.
There are people here who need you.
You're going to do great things.
Stay strong.
Stay proud.
Be you.

- Ren

we do not write poetry
we write mirrors
which are held up
to curious faces
who read
looking for their
own reflections