Time has passed by,
never forgetting to say "Hi!"
Always passing by,
but there's nothing new to try.

Now time has stopped.
My heart then dropped.

Nowhere I could see,
I couldn't even feel me.

They said I've reached the deadline.
They're taking this life of mine.
I said it was fine.

*Because time never gave me a good time.

She tucked in my shirt
and patted my head,
“Always be yourself”
was the first thing she said.

She painted my lips
and powdered my nose,
called me a daisy,
but wanted a rose.

She looked at my shoes
and gave me her heels,
noticed my body,
restricted meals.

She ignored my work
chastised my art,
gathered my drawings,
ripped them apart.

She decided my plans,
outlined each day,
gave me one order -
“don’t disobey.”

She tucked in my shirt
and patted my head,
“You’re nothing without me”
was the last thing she said.

Such ideals
  and standards I can not find.
In men I try
  but end up unsatisfied.
But once, I had found
  an exact opposite in mind.
A smart man
  acting like an idiot.
A man I had fallen for.
Different from what I thought
  but feelings should come first.
In him, I had found
nothing I had wanted.
But love was there,
  And that's what he handed.

I am the clown
In this town.

To where i am the center
Of their teasing
And jokes
As if they never see me
Frown.

All they see is my
Joker's hat,
That everything
They throw
At me
Never hurts.

I guess that's all i
Ever be...

Perhaps it's my fault
For letting them think
That way,
I never fight
A war between egos.

Silence and smiles
Are all i ever
Masked
Myself...

hold me close
   in your arms,
   as my memories
   fade away from
   me.
heal my broken heart,
   for i am not an
   artificial being,
   for i go on
   feeling.
take me away from
   the void of fears
   and making experiences,
   as you open up your
   heart.
i'll always remember
   the time we spent
   together, in this selfish
   and limited
   lifespan.

i sit here clutching
pen and paper to my chest
with nothing to say

words that are hard to say,
thinking it would ruin your day.
because of all the smiles you had,
i still want to make you glad.
but i know you know,
wherever my feelings go.
but you still smile,
even for a while,
even if you're slowly breaking,
even while your heart is aching.
i want to say goodbye
but my words come out as a lie.
whether it's loving you
or saying i do,
stop smiling,
  you're a fool.
  i only do bad things to you.

you're all that i think about,
            all that i dream about.
one day,
  you'll leave,
  but it'll give you a better day,
                                a better girl.
sometimes, i think
you're too good for me.
i'm too plain to be yours.
yet you'd say otherwise
and get mad at me
because you're so kind.
but your kindness is my problem
and the reason i distance myself from you.
i'm sorry for being stupid
but stupid is what i do best.
i don't deserve you,
  don't deserve us.
so i'll be the girl,
one day you'll hate
and could finally be relieved,
                               be happy.
while i, for you, would be happy,
                                         be sad.