Third time's the charm
and you've only ripped my heart out
twice

Let me drink the poison
one more time

The first time I was quenching my thirst
with salt water
in hopes the wounds
would heal
and then I swallowed the sea
because my sailor
would not look at me

The next time
I closed my eyes
at the sight of the waves coming
so I cannot blame you
for pulling me under

I will stay afloat this time
unless your anchor has grown
and you still find a way
to drown me
in the tears I created

I won't know until I try

I've been at war for a long time now
with the girl inside of me

She's smart and witty
and skinny and beautiful
and compassionate and kind
and trapped in the depths
of my empty stomach
and super-glued heart
as if I accidentally stuck her
to one of the pieces
chipped away
by a boy who couldn't see her

Her outer shell is hard
and average-looking
with chunks of fat
in all the wrong places
and it repels sadness
and emits an uncaring aura
that no one wants to touch

That shell is bulletproof
in all places except for one
but this inner angel
is not quite skinny
or clever enough
to escape through the jagged edges
and paint her shell
with her favorite color

Maybe she's been locked inside
her black stone well
for so long
that she no longer
has the will
to try

I hide my pain behind my smile,
A mask build by the fairy tales I've read about with happy endings.
I sleep on a bed made of insomnia,
As I struggle to figure out who I am
And you ask me if I'm ok

I'm a captain, trying to stay afloat of a sea of sorrows,
Because the boat I built basiced on my trust of others
Has broken into a million pieces.
Many a Times have I had to break my arms,
To be able to pull the knife out of my back.
And you ask if I'm ok

I fill my mind with knowledge,
In order to block out the voices of my demons,
Whose whispers cut like swords,
The sharp tongue of one bend on tearing down everyone.
I fight wars with willpower and focus,
Against the monsters I see when I look in the mirror,
And you ask if I'm ok.

I search for a sliver light in the depths of my mind,
Only to find the spotlight of guilt,
Highlighting the errors in my path
The destruction, chaos and loss I've left behind,
And you ask if I'm ok.

I'm trapped behind a layer ice,
Made from the cold blood that runs through my veins,
As I slowly suffocate on the promises I broke.
Like a willow in the mist of a tornado
My soul feels like it is getting ripped straight from my chest,
And you ask if I'm ok.

You ask if I'm ok, yer I reply simply...yes.
Now it is your turn.
Are you ok?
Are you really ok?

our parents tell us to believe in broken things
like unicorns and wishes on shooting stars
why do they fill the world with magic
now I cannot stop looking

I don't want to be with him
But I do
And all I can think
When I'm with him is
How much better he would be
If he were you.

2:00 A.M. I say amen
2:01 I jumped the gun
At 2:02 I ran to you
2:03 I know it a dream
But 2:04 I was out the door.
At 2:05 I’m were you lye
2:06 it seemed all fixed
But 2:07 I want to leaven
At 2:08 I just can’t wait
Come 2:09 we say goodbye
It went all black at 2:10
Then back to 2 A.M. again.

I wish for the day we find someone who doesn't have to play pretend,
who sees my scars,
and softly presses their lips to every single one,
not to erase them,
but to simply accept the parts of me I am not proud of,
as they are,
as I am,
and then last they will take their lips and rest them on mine,
not to erase me,
but to colour me for the rest of time.