I want a passionate love
One that consumes me
One that takes me to highs I could never imagine

But love these days is limited
If you love someone too old, too different, the same gender
It's wrong
People move away

Things are spoken, and thus the magic disappears
Just as magic is expected to do

And yet, I want a love that consumes me
A love that rarely exists in this world
And I may never have it.

Music blasting,
Skin tingling,
Face frozen,
Eyes cold.
Am I dead yet?

Laying on a deathbed in heaven,
They said there was only happiness here,
forever.
Now all I wish for is
My heart to stop,
My lungs to empty,
To breathe my last breath.
So I just lay on my deathbed,
Looking at the perfect,
sparkling,
sky.

Staring down at my hands,
Quivering at my own sight.
My
      c
         r
           o
             w
               n
fell,
Though it was never really there.

Trees swaying side to side,
Blue's all I see.
If only it could stay,
Blue for eternity.

All my friends had given up
They'd taken the easy path
The one where straight A's are attainable
And sanity is sustainable

I moved my mouse in a different direction
From their perplexion, I knew
My complexion would never be the same

I knew that taking these courses
Would be no vacation
The certification was hard to achieve

Yet I got to the point where I wanted no more than to get down on my knees!
Plead guilty
For the crime
Of being in over my head.

I couldn't retain information
My mind was an augmentation
Of my imagination
A collection of mistakes,
Aches,
And earthquakes.

No more could I stand on still ground,
my knees shaking from your sound.
My heart pounding from
the inevitable loss of my innocence
which came derived from your
rejection.

My friends
the ones I held dear, my very own
Turned their face, shielded their eyes.
I was a damnation to everything they stood for!

For everything I tried to become
They became the opposite.
They fought their own, in the worst way possible
And I was left to battle my
impossible alone

Alone with the hours of homework,
And alone to face the very
housework we had built.
To see it crumble down before
my very eyes,
as I fumble to even close the windows to my soul,
as sleep is for the weak,
and I have too many bleak thoughts.
Far too many to ever be able to really dive deep
in this menacing society.

My school which shuts its doors at the very sight of me
And God who rains smog down
and it's not the year 2020, it's the whole future, past, and present.
It's our actions that will never be corrected
For we have had too many opportunities
And pennies for thoughts squandered into oblivion.
For maybe we should stop making
excuses,
and start accepting our fates.
For one day we are all destined to be gone,
yet isn't it odd,
that ignoring this,
that is how we survive?